Have you ever been shamed or threatened to keep silent about sexual assault, abuse or harassment?

Question

worldscolide · Accepted Answer

I voted a.. For # reasons.. Many years ago i was at a party, and got very drunk ( part of the reason i dont get drunk any more), and i passed out. I woke up to some random girl on top of me, telling me to be quiet, it will feel good.. i got her off of me, and when i went to report it, i was laughed at, i was told that as a man i cannot be raped or sexually assaulted.

Scenario 2 here is not sexual assault, but domestic violence. i was with a woman that was extremely jealous and excessively violent. One day i was fed up with her attacking me, screaming at me, and constantly telling me that i am a cheater.. So i kicked her out.. Later on she came back to my home to "apologize and say good bye" her words.. When i opened the door, she hit me with the bottom half of a pool cue, The rubber on the end was gone and what was there was an exposed bolt. She hit me in the face slicing it up, leaving me bleeding and needing dozens of stitches. I reported it, The police showed up. The FEMALE officer that too my report said "I am sorry we dont charge women with domestic violence. If she was still here, you would be going to jail not her. If she so much as reports that she broke a nail hitting you, we will come and arrest you and charge you. You're a man, you must have done something to deserve this." I go to the hospital to get patched up and the first thing out of the doctors mouth was "What did you do to deserve this?" When i have never, and i mean NEVER hit a woman in anger or self defense.

Suffice it to say i learned from those two situations that as a man reporting these things is pointless. Apparently the Duluth model is responsible for the second situation. Look it up sometime.. Its the most sexist training model for the police i have ever seen.

Anpu23 · Accepted Answer

Yes absolutely, from a rape hotline "this didn't happen, and if it did no one will ever believe you anyway. Don't call back."
On G@G "I hope those ladies had a good time"
Are some of the more notable ones

Youryeodongsaeng · Accepted Answer

My mother always tells people that I was raped when I was 5 and she shouldn't do that, even if they wanted to know. I only told my therapist about this.

DizzyDesii · Accepted Answer

I only kept quiet cause he gaslighted me into thinking i fully gave consent. I also kept quiet cause i didn't wanna disappoint my mom.

AzureGirl · Answer

Yeah, out of the few times it’s happened to me only one had a positive outcome from speaking out.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

I've never been in that position. Anyone who tries to control me by threats is probably going to get the opposite of whatever they want!

Jean-Marie_Céline · Answer

Somewhat, yes.

Jjpayne · Answer

That is very sad to hear... I honestly hope that does not occur often. If at all. But if you are saying it, it saddens me to think you had to have a knowledge of it happening in the first place. 😞

DanaeAdam5 · Answer

Yeah

Gwenhwyfar · Answer

Yeah

Neko911 · Answer

Yep.

KingdomForAKiss · Answer

Yes. Both.

Ámayas_20 · Answer

Yup by my social worker when I was 10.

archiz · Answer

No!!

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

No, but I feel bad for someone whose up against this situation

douride2 · Answer

Yes .

NorthwestRider · Answer

Never in my life

COMMODOREII · Answer

Has someone done that to you? 😮

TallAnon · Answer

No, but people don't threaten someone of my size anyway (unless drunk).  I am quite prone to the "You fucking what?" Followed by a punch. If someone would even try something like that to me.