Have you ever forced someone to have sex?

This happened during my senior year at high school, this September it will be 10 years since it happened. I am not writing this question to brag about it since it is something I am really ashamed of. But when I was drunk, I forced my really good friend to have sex. Yes, you could call it a rape. I was still a virgin, she recently broke up with a boyfriend she was dating since freshman years and we were really close together. I knew a lot about her sexual exploits, she knew I never had sex. One evening we were drinking at her place and somehow she decided that she should be the first girl that will allow me to touch her boobs, so she went topless, I touched her, we started kissing, I put my hand under her skirt, she told me to stop, but I didn´t. She was fighting at first, but latter just told me: “Don´t cum inside me, I stopped taking pills”. Ever since I finished I felt like a monster, apologized to her like a million times. Ask her more than once whether I should turn myself in, but she said: “No, I didn´t like what happened, but I really like you and I don´t want you to go to jail. I wouldn´t testify against you and they could not arrest you if they don´t have a victim.” I can´t express how grateful I am she gave me a second chance. We remained close friends, even went to prom together, but nothing ever happened between us. Since she moved away few years ago, we don´t see each other often. But what I have done still haunts me. So I ask – HAVE YOU EVER DONE SOMETHING SIMILAR? If so: What consequences did you face? And how can you look in a mirror? I read often how many women are victims of sexual assault and thanks to MeToo campaign those victims now have faces. So I think it´s time for those who´s done it to show theirs – here I am, I´ve done something horrible, even after 10 years I can´t stop thinking about what I´ve done and would do anything to undo it if I could. Will you find courage to show yours?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • All I can really say is this- sometimes good people do bad things. Sometimes good people are bad people. In this case, the latter is true.

    But just because you were a bad person back then doesn't mean you are now. It sounds as though, based on her response, you were worried about her turning you in after doing it, not worried about her. But, after ten years you are truly worried you hurt her. I'm not going to lie- you may have. Bad people hurt people. You were a bad person. You aren't now. Maybe you developed empathy for others. Maybe you had life experiences.

    What you did is not forgivable and I wouldn't expect forgiveness from anybody here. But that doesn't mean you can't still do good things in life going forward. And, at the end of your life, that will matter. So be good to other people, but don't exonerate yourself of your past behavior.

    Similar? I texted a girl too much, she told me to stop, I kept doing it and she threatened a restraining order. I contacted her on multiple platforms. Not on the same level, but that's something I feel ashamed of, so there you go.

    • "Good people" were bad people I should say.

    • Depending on the state though... that's actually within the statute of limitations. In which case, if you were truly sorry, you would turn yourself in. The rest is up to her.

    • Thanks, I didn´t have space to elaborate more about my feelings. I wasn´t too worried about going in jail. I knew I belong there, she didn´t agree. I don´t know how does it work if I confessed to raping somebody and the victim says she wasn´t raped… But I really cared about her, not only now, but after it happened and even before it, she´s always been a person I would do almost everything for. I am not writing it to ask for forgiveness here, I´d rather see other guys to come straight forward, like you did

    • Show All
  • I have a female friend that im really close with and one day she told me she wanted to talk to me about something so we went to her place to talk and she was telling me how she wanted to be forced into sex and have all 3 holes fucked and no matter if she said no stop or was crying she wanted it to continue until all 3 holes had been filled with cum and asked if that sounded weird and if i would do that for a girl and i said no it wasn't and yes i would and she said ok i thought that was her way of saying she wanted me to do that to her so i did and she cried and said no and screamed stop not you please no more and i thought its what she wanted and when i was done she told me while still crying i didn't want you to rape me but i guess i should have been more clear about it im sorry i still feel horrible but she tells me all the time it wasn't my fault she wasn't clear about and she has had willing sex with me since to show me she really isn't mad at me and that she is ok with what happened

Most Helpful Girl

  • Well it's been 10 years. Yes it was wrong, but she forgave you. You need to forgive yourself too. Most important thing you understand that's a horrible thing to do to someone, so as long as in the future you remain respectful of women if they say no, there is no need to keep condemning yourself after a decade. Most guys don't even realize it's wrong to do this and don't feel any remorse. You have felt guilty for long enough and I am sure it's the first and last time it happened. Let it go.

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 8
  • You should definitely turn yourself in. Go to the police and tell them you raped somebody.

  • I wouldn't classify that as rape. She refused your advances at first then later went along it. I would say she was forced to have sex because if she really wanted you to stop she would've fought her way off. Some people will fall back on how she was drunk but so was you from what I remember from your story. There's a grey area when it comes to rape. Everyone now just imagines sex to be this "yes ladder" into intercourse. Like the think it's asking for consent for everything you do when sex doesn't work that way. People don't go about sex by saying

    " Permission to touch your breast?
    Permission to remove your blouse?
    Permission to remove your pants?
    Permission to kiss you?
    Permission to insert?"

  • Lel.

    Lots of triggered feminists in the comments.

    It's just sex. She'll get over it. Penis in vagina isn't a crime, people do it every day already.

  • Nope.

  • No and never would.

  • No never!

  • holy paragraphs batman!

  • I don't consider that rape

  • When I was camping with my ex we were hanging out and her friend who she likes came over and they cuddled and whatever he leftat like eight and she was talking to me about pouting in the bed then after talking for a bit she told me she'll always have feelings for me and we started kissing then after a bit I asked if she could give me head, I know she didn't want to do it and she had a sore throat cause she was kinda getting over a sickness, but I twisted her arm I'm very persuasive and it ended up happening and she was giving me head I was really getting into it and when I was getting close I was kinda pushing her head to speed up and might I add she can't breathe out here nose for head sometimes and when I came I pushed her head with a lot of force and filled her up, but when she got up I saw her crying due to moonlight and I ask are you okay and she says "I'm fine" in a less than believable voice and sniffles then she lays down and our beds are close, so I can hear her then when she goes to sleep maybe after a while I fell asleep and I had two nightmares by the way I felt horrible that's why I couldn't sleep till three then in the morning she acted like nothing happened I apologized a thousand times we don't talk anymore, but I'll regret it for the rest of my life, but what's odd is sometimes when I'm doing something with my partner I can feel it and I really enjoy it and then when she sleeps or whatever I cry myself to sleep. I let my other head get the best of me for the last time I'll never do that again.