Sexual Relationships
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Have you ever had an open relationship?

I've become curious about open relationships because of certain issues I'm having in my own relationship.

What are your thoughts on open relationships? How did you bring up the idea to your partner? Did it help or hurt your relationship?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • 1) I have been in an open relationship for nearly 15 years now.
    2) It is NOT a cure-all for relationship issues. It is only going to help you if you are generally happy with your SO but have issues with needing more sex or if you have certain co-dependency issues that inundate your SO with "neediness." And even then it could easily backfire.
    3) Ours grew over time as she realized my need for variety in sex and having no real romantic ties with others (I have always loved my wife, for the record).

    But, again, this is not a cure-all and should be done with rules and cautiously at first. If he - or you - feel that you can't handle it, then the agreement should be that you back off either until the other person is okay with it or never go back.

    An open relationship is really based on trust. Trust that your SO loves you and that you love him. If there's little trust, the opening of a relationship can exacerbate your issues and you may find yourself (or him) seeking more of a partner in the 'others' than someone for sex, etc.

    As for us, it helped build more trust over the years. She has her boy-toys and I had mine. I don't care for tail-chasing anymore so I generally don't seek out other women, but can if I wanted to.

    For you and yours - if the problems you have are with infidelity then it may very well be a good option. If the problems you two have are not infidelity, it may not. Every couple will be different so what is true for one couple will not be true for another.

    There's no real harm in trying it out as long as you both agree. To approach the subject, be very cautious and just be honest and open about why you want to try. If your reasons for wanting an open relationship are 'hidden', he'll find out eventually and that may be devastating.

    Stick to the rules and don't lie. Lying is worse than the cheating in most cases.

    • For clarity: I didn't mean I had my boy-toys. LOL. I meant I had my lady-friends. oops. :P

    • Thank you for your reply. I am interested in an open relationship because although I love my boyfriend, his sex drive is quite low. Mine on the other hand is quite high and this imbalance has led to a lot of resentment and hurt feelings. Getting rejected frequently as a woman is a confidence killer. It would be nice to be wanted, you know? So my question is this. Who in your relationship brought up this idea of an open relationship? How was the idea approached and how did the other partner take it? It sounds like it's going well for you both so that's great for you (:

    • If I had to point to one person that brought it up, I'd have to say it was me because I was in your shoes - needed it all the time when she didn't, etc. And it's just as bad for men being rejected sex by their partner, by the way. . . . or at least, that was my experience. lol In my position - and you can think I'm a douche or whatever - it was a mutual thing after I told her I didn't trust that I could control my sexual desire enough to not stray. I realize how fucked up it was but it was the way I said it and in which context it was used that she understood and became okay with it. To be honest, it really started to open up after we had our first 3way. That made it easier to expand from there. She saw me with another woman and liked it and it just kinda' went from there. But my situation was quite unique. We had already been together for ~5 years or so. And for the record, I don't need it like I used to and she gets rejected now. LOL. :)

  • Every relationship will differ from person to person, usually untraditional practices are applied to make sure everyone's happy

    The trend of open relationships seems to stem from dating who the person is, and not who you want them to be. Often times people have a partner they always go to and share their life with regardless of who they sleep with, but it takes a lot of responsibility to prevent STI's and other problems

    It requires understanding and effective communication to overcome possible insecurities and problems, but the few people I know doing, are extremely happy.

Most Helpful Girls

  • It seems to work for some of the poly people, but it sounds like one giant headache to me.

  • may be i am into one now, it is kind of strange to define actually

    • How did you get into an open relationship? Did you or your primary partner bring up the idea and how did the other take it?

    • send me pm

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What Girls & Guys Said

2 21

  • Do your homework. There are some good books on open relationships that talk about all of the ups and downs. "The Ethical Slut" is a well known one.

  • NEVER

    • thank you

  • unless you are a stone cold person with no feelings , open relationships are a terrible idea.

  • No, a open relationship is not a true relationship at all, but repeated one night stands.

    Do whatever you want, but you will not find satisfaction and one issues may be solfed only to replaced by another, like STD's, jalousie etc.

  • No, but I would like to. I love my girl but obviously still want to have sex with other pretty girls. Like, why wouldn't I?

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