Have you ever told, or been told by, your significant other that sex with them is a burden?

Question

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

No. I have very occasionally been denied because they were too tired (and in very understandable circumstances), which is no big deal, because I've occasionally done the same. We're all humans with limitations. But, otherwise, I've never had to try hard to get sex from a girlfriend - quite the opposite, really.

But something you need to understand as a man, that a lot of men don't understand about women: (if you're in a relationship), women need to TRUST you to want to have sex with you. If you haven't built trust with her and made her feel safe and secure to be sexual around you, then she's going to be closed off and distant sexually, and that's going to be bad news for you. Since building trust is a high priority for me, I don't have this problem - half of the time, I can't make it all the way into the doorway before she's jumping on me or pulling me into the bedroom.

You also need to know that if you didn't build trust in the beginning, or didn't maintain it well, then it's very possible for the relationship to be too far gone to save. Sometimes having a therapist/counsellor (a third party to play referee) can help save it, but you often can't do it on your own.

Yes, it's also possible that you just got very unlucky and ended up with a woman who is indifferent about sex, but that's more the exception than the rule. Most women ARE very sexual IF they're in the right environment, and it's YOUR job as the man to MAKE the right environment.

SnowedIn · Accepted Answer

Never. That's just... something. There've been times we've both been tired, but that's different and we communicated our way through to what worked best for us.

CrazyGirl2 · Accepted Answer

OMG no! First, if a 20yo college guy ever says sex with me is a “burden” he just ended the relationship because I could never have sex with him again. That would be horribly damaging to any relationship. And by the same measure, if I felt that sex with him was a burden, I would just end it w/o saying such a horrible thing and risk psychologically damaging him for possibly years!

lalaloveee · Accepted Answer

No because if i'm getting bored of having sex with him that means i'm going to broke up with him

TrueConfection · Answer

No, but the thought has occurred to me once or twice when I was just too tired to enjoy it. 😬

dustybiker · Answer

Yyyouch. No.

Apple1996 · Answer

Never been called a burden but my husband does tell me that I'm too much to handle sometimes

NathanDavis · Answer

neither, no... but I've always been very selective, and always make sure we're compatible...

Pete671 · Answer

Lol, been told that it's boring and not worth the effort because of my penis size, the lady knew that I loved to hear it which made me cum really quickly,