Having sex with a much older man?

Hey guys, I would really appreciate your opinions on this. So basically as soon as I turned 18 I decided to work as a stripper in a very clean club nearby where I live. I would prefer if you leave your opinions on my job out of this as it is something I’ve always wanted to do and I enjoy it. Anyway, I met a bouncer who works at the same club as me and we really hit off and have a bit of a “thing” for each other. He is definitely much older than me even though I have not told him my exact age, I don’t expect anything serious to come of this relation with him but out of curiosity I almost want to try having sex with an older man who knows what he is doing. I have been single for almost a year and I am still somewhat scarred over my breakup and just don’t feel ready to commit again to anyone my own age yet. Obviously I am aware that in a normal situation I would have never been interested in this guy, and a lot of my colleagues keep telling me if I’m going to sleep with an older man it should at least be a rich one, however the reason I have been so wary of this is because I don’t want to fall into the trap of having sex for money- I would rather do it because I genuinely want to. I am also unsure if I should just not take that step with him and just wait until I am in a more age appropriate relationship as I have been celibate for some time now and I’m not sure if I should just experiment or remain as I am for a bit longer. What are your thoughts?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Well, instead of trying to find reasons to sleep with guys such are money, power, or experience you should consider being emotionally involved with someone then just lose yourself in the moment and want to give yourself to each other because you like the person.

    that is going to be hard considering your job, interest in guys (bouncers), colleagues, etc.

    Another thing you have to understand is that in strip clubs (even classy ones) strippers and workers are known to do exactly what you are considering. They sleep with each other like crazy. Bosses are known to sleep with most of the women too. The issue with this is when you enter a situation where you are sleeping with guys who bang tons of women (mostly drug addicts and down on their luck) they have diseases.

    • The reason why I asked this question is because at this current time in my life it would not be possible for me to meet anyone worthwhile for a relationship anytime soon. I have been feeling sexually frustrated as I have not had sex in nearly a year and need someone to help me pass the time until I move on to University, this man is not somebody I see myself with in the long-term future. And no, I don’t want anybody’s money or power in exchange for sex

    • I still stand by my opinion. The quality of time you spend with the opposite sex for romance offers a significant personality builder for yourself. Even though it may be short term nailing random is unhealthy for yourself. Oh no almost a year... I'm pushed near 5yrs and I'm a guy. Guys turn into psychopaths, awkward, weird, suicidal, or their brain doesn't function right without a woman. Life is more sucky for me than you!

  • I can totally understand what you are looking for with someone older, more mature and experienced and someone who knows how to treat a woman. The only problem with him is the atmosphere you are in and how many other dancers has he slept, or sleeping with currently.

    • You’re right, in my mind it is obvious that he has slept with dancers before - he has been working there for almost my entire lifetime. My issue is also concerning safe sex because even though I don’t want to commit he may still not tell me who else he is sleeping with

    • Yes, that is true. Lots of loose and unprotected sex in that industry. Lots of partying and drugs in that atmosphere. I would be very very careful if I were you. Maybe just enjoy the fantasy and keep looking for a better relationship with someone else.

Most Helpful Girls

  • Like stripping, once you sleep with an older man, you cannot undo it. It becomes part of you, and will follow you forever. Do not be surprised if future guys say, "No thanks".

    As long as you can accept any future consequences, do whatever you like. it is no one elses business or problem.

    • Is that actually a problem for guys? I've never heard of sleeping with an older man a deal breaker for guys.

    • I don’t think stripping “following me forever” is a bad thing, I made the choice to do it and I am happy with my choice. It isn’t something I would tell anyone I date in the future after I quit though. You are right at me not being able to undo the sex if I choose to do it which is why I might actually wait and see if I really want to because that type of regret sounds awful

    • @PrettyKitty31 That is the risk, is it not. Does not matter what we think. It is the future boyfriend that matters. What he thinks of the stripping, as well.

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  • If you don't want anything serious, go for it. Why not.. how much older is he exactly? From my personal experience the older guys are more experienced and know what to do when it comes to sex. If you don't want to share it here you can PM me :)

    • I’m not sure how old he is, but he’s been working at that club for almost my entire lifetime (15 years), and I’m 18 years old

    • When I was 19 I slept with a guy who was 37 .. almost twice my age, but I don't regret it first because he looked super good and second it was experience for me, I liked it a lot. If you want to try do it... there are much worse things in this world than sleeping with an older guy. And you should't feel guilty about it.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Please don't.

  • PM me , if you need good suggestions.

  • A couple of thoughts here...
    First, cool that you like your job and found a good place to work.
    Second, as for sleeping with an older guy just to experiment and have some fun, I am all for it... just be careful, especially with your emotions.
    Third, I do not recommend sleeping with any co-workers. There are reasons you don't mess where you work. Things can get ugly really quickly if the relationship goes south, or someone gets jealous, etc.
    Fourth, enjoy yourself in all you do; you sound pretty smart.
    Good luck.

  • Ordinarily I would be against this, but because you seem to understand the limits of what is possible in this relationship, it sounds harmless enough. Go for it.

  • How much older is he? Do you want to do it because of the sex or do you like him?

    • Well I like him a little, but this is mostly for the sex as I’ve been out of a relationship for a long time and I won’t be finding a worthwhile boyfriend anytime soon and my sexual frustration is getting out of hand. I am not entirely sure how old he is but I am 18 and he has been working at that club for 15 years so I am guessing he’s at least 45

    • Lol well I understand the sexual frustration part

    • so, how did it go? Did you do it?

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  • its fine its your choice.