He asked me how many people I've slept with?

[Anonymous]

A guy that I have been seeing for quite some time asked me this. What for? Why would he like to know? I had to tell him that I was a virgin but after sleeping with him he still ask me this question a lot. I haven't seen him in a long time and he ask me if I have slept with anyone meanwhile and how many I've slept with. I don't now if it's because a lot of guys come and greet me when I'm with him as I'm very good at flirting/making connections with guys or. I have no interest in knowing how many he has slept with, why does he ask me this?

[Paris13]

He is Immature and Insecure here, dear, and Clearly, it will put a monkey wrench in this newbie relationship.
Set him straight and end the madness or drop him like a hot tamale. If he starts with This, which he knows you were this cherry, then by him Keeping Other things up by opening his Yap, he is showing his true animal colors in the Beginning of your Beguine, because the rest cannot be possibly any good with knowing more of his fury fur.
Good luck. xx

[Paris13]

Even if you were not a virgin and had a million men, let sleeping dogs lie, he doesn't need to know what you did before you laid down with him. xx

[XxMochaDelightxX]

Until I read this post I actually thought that it was normal for men to ask that question. Is it not? Almost every guy I have dated well I guess that isn't many but even guys I was just talking to have asked me that. It is odd.

I think you should know because their past sex life directly effects yours to an extent but at the same time I don't want details or any of that mess and I think most people lie about this question anyway.

[Hollywood-Glam]

He was just curious about your sexual history. He wanted to keep the conversation going.

[Anonymous]

Just tell him nothing good will come out of knowing the number so he'd better stop

[Ratiocinative]

I agree with the others. None of his business. And what good can come from that conversation anyway? Its

My philosophy when dating is that I'm concerned with who she is now, not who she was in the past. The only exception is a cheater. I will never date anyone who has cheated in the past.

[CapricornSwagL]

You're awesome!. Any girl would be happy to date such an open minded person such as yourself. I know I sound like a creep lol but reading all the comments I came a conclusion that most of the males commenting are sexist. Thank you for being an open minded person. Me as a female appreciate it even if you're a stranger

[R3d_Anonymous]

I agree.

[Ratiocinative]

Haha. Thanks. I don't know if that really counts as openmindedness, but I think you have to see people for who they are right now. You miss out if you don't give them the chance to learn from their mistakes and be a better person, and you also miss out on someone better if you lose sight of who someone is and only see who you want them to be.

[AustinMan]

Your sexual history is none of his business. Don't ask, don't tell.

[TripleAce]

really lol... so the person we choose, we don't have the right to know their past and history... doesn't really make much sense if you ask me... this is the perfect storm for bad relationships

[AustinMan]

How is that? If you love her and trust her, what difference does it make? You'll surely have a handle on her character without a complete line item listing of her sexual partners. If not, look up the definition of trust.

[CapricornSwagL]

@AustinMan You're awesome!. Any girl would be happy to date such an open minded person such as yourself. I know I sound like a creep lol but reading all the comments I came a conclusion that most of the males commenting are sexist. Thank you for being an open minded person. Me as a female appreciate it even if you're a stranger

[AustinMan]

@CapricornSwagL It's nice t be appreciated. All these judgmental pricks, esp among our Evangelical brethren, make me really worry about the plight of women in that segment of the population.

[CapricornSwagL]

Well even though we're stranger know that I (girl right here) appreciate you. And yes I agree and worry as well. Some women think it's normal... I don't know why

[AustinMan]

@CapricornSwagL, might I interest you in a chat on messaging? I have some things I'd like to chat about offline.

[JuicyBrain]

@CapricornSwagL We're not all judgmental. There are others like us out there.

[CapricornSwagL]

@AustinMan Sure. Feel free. No weird stuff though (creeps have been messaging me smh)

[CapricornSwagL]

@JuicyBrain Well that's awesome to hear honestly. It's just highly annoying to see guys saying stuff like that. As if a guy can't be a whore either :/. To me no one is whore, it's just a label to make us women feel bad for doing the same thing a guy does. Not fair. It makes me sad

[AustinMan]

@CapricornSwagL I'd rather it make you MAD!! It makes me mad. Those pompous cretins need to lay out every wrong sexual thing they have ever done.

[CapricornSwagL]

Well I'm sad and upset.. More sad because I always wondered if open minded non sexist guys existed. I totally found some on this site after being here for 2 days and half. Nice to know :)

[CapricornSwagL]

And yes. I agree! They should so they can look stupid for being a hypocrite lol

[Asker]

That's exactly what I have told him now.

[AustinMan]

If he won't let it go, I suggest you very strongly consider moving on...

[Asker]

It's not that he doesn't want to let it go, he has asked me a couple of times and after I haven't been answering him. Now I told him this.

[AustinMan]

What's the "this?"

[Asker]

That it's none of his business who I slept with.

[AustinMan]

Is he willing to accept that answer even though he's not happy with it since it's all he's going to get. If he thinks your sexual history might make you an unsuitable partner, then you are unsuitable by definition since he doesn't trust you. Sorry to be so blunt.

[Asker]

I don't know actually he didn't say anything and so far he hasn't asked again. I mean the real answer is only one and that is him.

[AustinMan]

Don't you dare tell him. If he can't deal with not knowing, then he doesn't deserve you. Real men trust their women.

[R3d_Anonymous]

Yes, finally more people are subscribing to this idea.

[AustinMan]

@R3d_Anonymous I certainly hope so. I would like nothing better than to show those evangelical zealots for what they are: hypocrites.

[HornyG4mer]

Its a guy thing. He may want to know that you haven't been out with others, or he may want to compare scores.

Just be honest with him, and if he doesn't believe you or keeps asking, he sounds like a person to dump. A real guy doesn't need to ask that too much

[Robbey]

He probably thinks, or is afraid, that you be may comparing him to other men.

And some people just have boundary issues.

[PippiL]

If he's not in a relationship with you anymore, he has no business asking.

[TripleAce]

Because don't you think it's important to get to know each other? Obviously right

Guys ask because we all know girls fuck just as much as guys, just maybe some guys Are more vocal about it and girls are just discreet... so he wants to make sure you ain't lying and you ain't sleeping around

[abundantlyrich]

You pleased him well in bed like a professional... I supposed that is why he was inquiring about your bedroom skills

[CapricornSwagL]

Tell him non of his business

[TripleAce]

Hope your man tells you it ain't your business's lol... bet you won't be handling it so well Talk is cheap

[CapricornSwagL]

@TripleAce I never had sex before so... And the guys that did things to me, he asked and I told him about it. Again, so... Lol indeed talk IS cheap but not for me. I don't care about my boyfriend's sex history, why would I wonna know about the girls he sexed or played with :/. The only thing that was important for me to ask him was did he ever have sex with a virgin before.

[RajeshTheJeshter]

Because he finds it hard to believe.

[tenchu11]

Rule of thumb "yeah she has a lot of guy friends or flirts all the time."
Guy friends: "oh she's that type of girl"
Stereotype about overly friendly woman.

[kittykatbrat]

"Men" never care
"Boys" always ask

[fuuuark]

bullshit

[fuuuark]

the highest value men care, they have choice and they will most likely not chose a girl who has slept around.

[kittykatbrat]

@fuuuark MY answers are all based on MY personal dating and sex life. Peace xo

[TripleAce]

Those men that don't ask, lol don't be fooled young Padawan... don't be so quick to assume it's because there 'real men' Most likely they just didn't care enough about anything

[CapricornSwagL]

@fuuuark If he slept around himself he has no right to ask

[fuuuark]

I know guys who sleep around tons, they are high value because most girls want them, and they will always chose a girl who has slept with less as someone they would have a committed relationship with. Don't be fooled they will be another number to her, they will still sleep with her, but they won't commit, they will not make a slut their wife or life partner.

[CapricornSwagL]

@fuuuark And they're disgusting sexist pigs that doesn't deserve anyone tbh.

[Asker]

No girl is a slut for sleeping with many men. Sex was made to be pleasurable and women should be able to enjoy it as much as men without having to be called SLUT and not seen as girlfriend material, what matters is if the person remains loyal. Men aren't higher valuable because they have slept with many girls. There is nothing biological about that just some stupid high school popularity thing.

[kittykatbrat]

@TripleAce. (laughing. hysterically) I only WISH that men didn't care soooo much about me, that way I could FINALLY FUCKING HAVE a "normal" stalker free' life. Peace dude xo

[kittykatbrat]

@asker. I couldn't agree with you more about no girl being a slut, purely because she enjoys sex. HUGE UPS + smiling high fives :) To me these labels only exist purely to buffer SOME weak insecure male egos while also being a false justification that bitter resentful people use to elevate themselves and validate their super basic lives.

[kittykatbrat]

@CapricornSwagL I totally agree. xo:)

[TripleAce]

@kittykatbrat That makes no sense... they don't care and that's why there not asking... calm down with the stalker... don't pretend women are not the same just you girls choose since guys do all the work to approach Learn it right

[CapricornSwagL]

Thanks. I agree with you and asker as well. Spoken like a true confident woman which we should be. Don't worry about these sexist insecure 'men'.

[kittykatbrat]

@TripleAce (laughing) "Men" CELEBRATE a girls sexuality. "Boys" DEMONISE it.. Note: Female stalkers absolutely exist just NOT in MY life which is what "I" was discussing HERE dude. Peace xo

[Bandit74]

guys don't like the idea of their girlfriend having slept with a lot of other men

[DrBLan]

Exactly. Not to mention it increases the changes for STDs and sets the framework for them to compare themselves to your other partner (s).

[Asker]

Why ask if you don't like the idea of that. I don't want to know his numbers because I'd be sad. It's the last thing I want to know but maybe that's just me.

[Bandit74]

I guess curiosity gets the best of them. Also, what goes on in his mind could be eorse than the reality. He might think that since you're always hanging with gyys that its a high number. Asking is only bad if the answer is high and con firms his worries. However if he asks and hears that it's a low number or even 0 then he'll feel relieved.

[iamyourneighbor]

@drblan if a guy slept around with a lot of girls it increases his chance of passing an STD to his girlfriend or wife especially if she is a virgin and that's all kinds of fucked up, what girl wants to get an STD her first time? And even if the girl slept with 1 or 2 men that's nothing compared to if get guy slept with 10 or 20 or 30

[Asker]

I got an STD after my first time.

[Bandit74]

asker: the guy who keeps asking you how many people you've slept with gave you an std?

[Asker]

Yes exactly..

[Bandit74]

have you told him this?

[Asker]

No, I'm going to tell him that then get myself cured

[Bandit74]

life you're positive that he's the one the infected you, then you need to tell him ASAP. The reason is because if he doesn't know he could be sleeping with other girls and unknowingly infecting them too.

[Bandit74]

if* not life

[CapricornSwagL]

Who gives af if they don't like it? Guys sleep around all the time. What a bunch of hypocrites smh

[IamNuts]

No idea but you don't have to tell him if you don't want to.

[verticallyinsecure]

male ego.
but its better to answer it for once, if he has a problem with it, he wasn't your type.

[PSIHEPA]

Because now he can notch a claimed virginity under his belt as his and nobody else's. That also means no other guy can ask him "how does his dick taste", that being a guy who may have had you before him.

[sexyphil]

Tell him to mind his own business. It doesn't matter how many guys you've slept with and it really should be of no concern to anyone else..

[alfonsosloan45]

He wants to know if you are a whore who likes opening her legs to most men.

[CapricornSwagL]

If he's a whore himself he has NO RIGHT asking that asking

[alfonsosloan45]

@CapricornSwagl The post doesn't say that though. Haha, look at all of my dislikes. Ladies, would you date a porn star? That is what I thought. Just as equally, I don't want to date a whore.

[CapricornSwagL]

It doesn't matter. She's a virgin (not a whore at all). If he has had lots of sex he has no right asking when he's the hoe himself. That's hypocritical

[alfonsosloan45]

Well, he might just want to make sure and he hasn't had a lot of sex. Where does it say that? @CapricornSwagl

[CapricornSwagL]

That's why I said "IF". IF he isn't a whore himself then he has the right to ask away

[alfonsosloan45]

But that has nothing to do with the post. Why would you even say that because the post has nothing to do with what you said?

[CapricornSwagL]

It doesn't matter dude. I'm giving her advise. Since guys on here are talking about girls being whore if they sleep around, I'm revering the statement to let the OP know it's non of his business ESPECIALLY if he's a whore himself. She should know her boyfriend is a hypocrite. I'm tired of sexist pigs.

[CapricornSwagL]

*reversing*

[alfonsosloan45]

@CapricornSwagl So you would date a porn star then?

[CapricornSwagL]

Hell no lol. I actually wanted my boyfriend to be a virgin but he isn't. Too bad I started to like him :(

[alfonsosloan45]

@CapricornSwagl So then that is hypocritical, then I would want to know my girlfriends sex history because I don't want her to be a slut. Just as equally, you don't want a male whore

[CapricornSwagL]

That doesn't make any sense dude. 1. I am not a hypocrite for wanting a virgin boyfriend seeing as I am a virgin myself 2. If you're a slut and doesn't want a 'slut' girlfriend YOU'RE a hypocrite AND a sexist 3. Knowing those things are OK but if you yourself isn't pure, you have no right 4. What's NOT to understand about that? :/

[alfonsosloan45]

What I don't understand is why her boyfriend can't ask? because he isn't a fuck boy. It doesn't say that.

[Asker]

Who said anything about him not wanting a slut for a girlfriend? And exactly WHY would I be a slut IF I had slept with many guys? Am I not allowed to have as much fun as him? He has slept with tons of girl, heck that guy gave me and std after our first time. Who I've slept with after that is none of his business since he isn't my boyfriend, I am not committed to him and I have told him that he has nothing to do with my sex life. It is a constant question and I don't see why it is important to know.

[JSmuve]

What do you mean you "had to tell him (you're) a virgin"? Why did you have to tell him that? Was it not true?

[Asker]

It was true but I had to be honest about my sex partners when I slept with him because it was none, I was a virgin. I couldn't exactly hide it.

[GreatnessPersonified]

He's setting himself up for failure asking that question.
It's like answer your kids when they say, "who do you love more?"
No one should answer that.
As long as it was before him and you don't have an STI, it doesn't matter.

[Asker]

He wants to know how many after him or if I have slept with anyone during the time we've been dating since he popped my cherry lol

[GreatnessPersonified]

Then, he's asking if you cheated on him or something. "I haven't seen him in a long time " Well, that's his problem. How can you claim a girl and be away and expect her not to be with someone else. Is he in the military?

[Asker]

Oh okay. No he's definitely not in the military and we're just dating so far, it's been quite some time though.

[GreatnessPersonified]

You can only hold a woman down like that with marriage. Other than that, piss off.

[JR1989]

yeah, terrible questions. No one wins with this question. I only see frustrations: If the number is too many, you are supposedly a slut. Too few, you are a prude and inexperienced. At the end, he should not even care how many you have slept with.. and if he is serious, he should instead make sure he is the last you sleep with..

[CapricornSwagL]

You're awesome!. Any girl would be happy to date such an open minded person such as yourself. I know I sound like a creep lol but reading all the comments I came a conclusion that most of the males commenting are sexist. Thank you for being an open minded person. Me as a female appreciate it even if you're a stranger

[JR1989]

@CapricornSwagL Thanks for the complement. Hope everything works out with your guy.

[CapricornSwagL]

Me too and you're welcome

[ThreeMonkeys]

Because relationships are a private thing and the more people you are with (after say 3) the less special things get. Relationships can become more casual.

I do not completely condone his behavior but it is understandable in the sense that he is insecure. He suspects you may have multiple partners in the past and he is not comfortable with that thought. Think of it as some females being paranoid of their men cheating.

If you ask me, this is something that should have been discussed before you two got into a relationship. Also, I think people with similar lives are most compatible... meaning... few partners with few partners & multiple partners with multiple partners.

[chrisbigman]

Just be honest, but don't expect him to replicate/repeat the same honesty.

[john2]

That's one question I'll never ask in a relationship lol. To much and I might start to think some shit.

[OpenWine]

I once asked that question as a bad filler, I suck at small talk :(

[julietalphasixtynine]

Probably thinks you're a s... nvm.. He thinks your... nvm

[Anonymous]

People want to know about their partners pasts

[Anonymous]

This is a question all guys ask. It's am important bit of information and women ALWAYS lie about it. But I would never buy a car without knowing how many people rode it. The more wear and tear the worse off the vehicle. Same goes for women, a girl who is willing to rack up partners is not as valuable as a female who holds it closer to her and only gives it to an important few.

Women don't get this because they feel they should be allowed to have their wild youth and rack up numbers and then decide to settle down when they feel like it and expect to be given the carte blanc reset and get the same level of respect as a female who hasn't been a complete human trampoline. Sadly it isn't how it works.

[CapricornSwagL]

Same goes for males. Most should stop being whores

[Opinion Owner]

"most" males aren't whores and those who are, are pigs and the only other males who think they are "cool" are other pigs.

[CapricornSwagL]

Ok I agree but it's really annoying how sexist and stupid this world is. No one is slut. If you're past 18 years old and is a responsible person you should be able to have sex all you want. Why do women have to be sluts if we even have one sex partner? It's annoying

[Opinion Owner]

@CapricornSwagL The slut shaming thing is often misconstrued to being the idea of all males. When in actuality more women slut shame women than men do. Males will consider a promiscuous female a slut in the same negative way they see a promiscuous male. Women will slut shame virgin girls simply for having male attention, it doesn't require her to actually be a sexual deviant. It's simply an easy way for catty females to quickly and effectively tear another girl down. When it comes to shaming, I have to point out the multitude of male shaming that occurs by females for natural sexuality though. Men are torn apart by women with shaming words like; scumbag, pervert, creep, pig, dog, etc. for natural sexuality like looking at a female. This is a constant in our society. So why is it that this slut word seems to be such a big topic, especially when the majority of it's power comes from other women not males.

[CapricornSwagL]

Because some women are stupid. Can't say I'm not ashamed to be a women because I am. Some women don't want rights. They act like that to have more males like them. They're sexist themselves. They don't love their selves. They believe they are lower than men. They're submissive. They don't want rights. I say those women should be slaves like those wonderful women that fought soooo hard for us to have rights. They should feel what they felt, maybe they'll reconsider their position. It's sad honestly. I'm disgusted by women like that. I do not applause them. I honestly feel sorry for them while thinking they're too stupid to be smart.

[Opinion Owner]

@CapricornSwagL I'm more disgusted by women who believe other women should be slaves just to get a sense of what women decades ago dealt with, just so they can understand why other women have become bitter angry females assuming others don't want rights because they don't follow a f'd up doctrine, which is filled with lies and falsities about both genders. If anyone should be ashamed of being stupid, it would be those who blindly follow a doctrine without research or reason.

[Anonymous]

The more guys a girl has slept with the less valuable she will be for long term commitment, if you have slept with like 10+ guys he probably wouldn't want to date you, no guy with options wants a slut. Why is this? sex is a lot easier to get for girls than guys (because of reproduction ratios, men can knock up multiple women a day, while women are out for 9 months after one time), so male promiscuity is celebrated while a women is looked down on. A girl also always knows if a kid is hers while a man doesn't know without a test, so a sexually promiscuous women is subconsciously seen as a risk that the man may waste his time and resources raising someone else's genes. There is also male michrochimerinism (look it up) that would make a women who has slept around a bad choice in a mate , it is literally an innate biological trait to rather not chose the slut.

[CapricornSwagL]

That's sexist af smh. Men should just stop being sluts then women wouldn't feel the need to look for other lovers. Gtf

[Opinion Owner]

It's innate, it is ingrained, if you are unhappy with it then don't date a guy that has slept with a lot of women, you are welcome to impose your own standards, but most times men who have slept around are still desirable to women, they are biologically alpha.

[Anonymous]

why not? i'd like to know if i date an std filled hoe. come for a second in the place of the man. would you make such a woman the mother of your children?

[CapricornSwagL]

Same goes for males. I'm sure lots of women wouldn't wonna make a STD slut the father of their children.

[Anonymous]

Because it's his vagina and he wants to know what you've been doing with it!

Its none of his business, tell him to fuck off.

[Anonymous]

Guys like to think that they are special and their girlfriends are perfect. Its nonsense of course but we just hate the idea that our special someone was having sex with other men.

[Anonymous]

It's not important, and it can only cause problems. Never, even under penalty of death, answer that question. Deflect it and change the subject instead. That applies to both genders.

[Anonymous]

I like girls that have had sex because its easier to have great sex together

[Anonymous]

Is he your boyfriend or some guy who you are just having sex with? If so he may be insecure or the possessive jealous type

[Anonymous]

guys always like to feel like theyre the only ones.

[Anonymous]

He wants to know if you a slut.

[CapricornSwagL]

If he's a slut himself he has no right asking that question

[Opinion Owner]

@CapricornSwagL men can't be sluts cause they can't have sex with anyone they want like women can.

[CapricornSwagL]

Men can be sluts. Stop being sexist. It's annoying