He called me a child but wants to sleep with me?

I’ve been going to my ent for almost 5 months now because I had to get a lump checked out on my throat. I’m in college so I first met him before and I came back to see him during winter break and he’s an older white guy in his 50s ( I’m 18 and a black girl ) which means it would be odd for him to see me as a daughter but maybe he doesn’t see color- clearly not if he’s into me.

I have always attracted older men who’ve catcalled me and called me beautiful and stuff like that but older white men are more subtle with me but still noticeable

when me and the doctor met again we were scheduling for me to get surgery and it just got quiet for a few minutes and he asked if I was nervous and I hope he met about the surgery. Then the day of surgery he came in to talk to me and told me he was gonna get me a cocktail but he was trying to be funny and that night he called to ask if I was ok and a week later I got the results for what it was and when he found out he called me in the next morning ( he could’ve told me over the phone ) and talked to me about it being lymphoma and he was gonna do everything but while he was talking and he was like “it’s hard because ( no offense ) for a child to go through” so does that mean all bets are off lol

Then I got radiation and It’s basically gone now and he called my dad that same night ( I don't know how he found out ) and was like “I’m super excited!! Which I thought was kind of weird

he’s married and his son is my age and today my dad was talking about him and said it was kinda weird how he was giving me so much attention because most doctors dont do all that and don’t call and stuff and he said he was calling at night to see how I was and trying to get me in as soon as possible and when this is all over I should tell him thank you but all this sounds weird to me? Is he at least attracted to me?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • I think he's probably attracted to you. But he's married. If he's a half-decent guy... that's that.

    As for whether him calling you a child means he doesn't want to sleep with you... frankly yes. It does mean that. If you're looking at an 18-year-old and thinking about sleeping with her... a a guy is going to do everything he can to see her as an ADULT. The word "Child" being used may have been for his own benfit... It would be the best way to tell yourself you DON'T want to sleep with that girl anyway... after all "she's a child"..

    Or, more likely (especially if he has kids of his own) he just legitimately sees you as a child... It does certainly seem weird that he's giving you such personalized attention.

    As for not seeing colour... yea... race doesn't matter when it comes to seeing someone as a 'daughter" or 'sister"... for sure... doesn't matter.

    • So he’s attracted to me but doesn’t wanna sleep with me?

    • Basically yes. It's a bit of an internal dilemma for him. Even if you take the whole "married thing" out of the equation... Which.. IS in reality, very much in the equation. But even if we take it out for now... There is a bit of internal conflict when an older guy is faced with a real-life situation where he is thinking about sleeping with someone who's 18. On one level, sure... he's a guy... guys don't stop being attracted sexually to girls your age as they grow older. (think "barely legal" as a default basic porn category)... So sexually... there's still an element of physical attraction. The thing is... once you think about it for a second... think about when you were 18 yourself... and see how young an individual flesh-and-blood girl of that age really is... you have this weird conflict. In a lot of ways, 18 IS a child... That's going to be especially true if he has kids (no matter their age). So there is an internal conflict within. On the one hand, a purely physical sexual attraction; on the other hand, his internal sense of right and wrong, reason and better judgment. Then when you add in the fact that he has a wife and kids... I would say that you got it about right. "he's attracted to you but doesn't want to sleep with you." ---Which is good... because he's married... don't be a home-wrecker. ;)

    • I’m not gonna try to pursue him but if he comes on to me i don’t know what I’m going to do

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  • Some doctors can get their hearts attached to someone they can relate to as their children. He must have thought about how your parents would have thought if they found out about the lymphoma and you couldnt get well. I saw all the time at the trauma ctr and hospital i worked at. People thinks its something sexual and though it can happen i doubt this was the case. I've seen many doctors not wanting to lose their patients and they get very emotional about it. It can get traumatizing

Most Helpful Girl

  • No. The doctor is showing a duty of care. He is probably going the extra mile because you are young and a nice person. When I had a hospital stay, I gave the doctors and nurses chocolates. It’s a nice gesture.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • I don't know it seems unusual but maybe that was his way of being nice

  • Someone call Chris Hanson.