Most Helpful Guys

  • It... Depends. If he's actually into BDSM, that may not be a red flag at all. If he THINKS he's into BDSM, that can get dangerous fast.

    Unfortunately, some people say they're into BDSM and call themselves Doms as an excuse to beat up their girlfriends and treat them like shit. As anyone in an actual BDSM community can tell you, that's not what BDSM is about. In BDSM, consent is *everything*. If he knows what he's doing, he'll do absolutely nothing to you unless you first give him permission to - and that includes verbally.

    BDSM itself isn't dangerous. But it unfortunately requires you to study up a bit on your own so that you know whether or not your partner knows what they're talking about. Because if they don't, they're dangerous. (Especially fake Doms.)

    Remember that your consent is everything and that it can be withdrawn at all times. And if you're NOT into it and he doesn't respect that... There's your red flag.

  • Its a red flag if you don't like it.

    It's a red flag if what you like is really conflicted.

    It's a red flag if he's into it but doesn't seem to care much about consent.

    Otherwise it might be a green flag.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Yes and no.

    Take the time to research the topic and speak to him about it, find out all the details of the specific areas he is interested in. If it is something that you have no interest in, just be upfront and honest about it and he should understand.

    • I kind of talked to him about it. he's in another country. But I really like him. It seems like if I dont wanna do something he's very understating and he stops.

    • As should be the case with all, there are rules and etiquette that should be adhered to but sadly not all follow. Sex is one thing but BDSM is something entirely different, it is nice that he appears respectful. Don't be afraid to dip your foot in, you will either like it or not.

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What Girls & Guys Said

3 11
  • No but you'll be getting a red ass

  • Nah girl embrace it!

    • Are into it?

    • @mario_with_no_luigi a little lol

    • That’s so cool!

  • If he lives in another country, when do you all meet?

    • We are still trying to get to know each other. We are really comfortable around each other. he's pretty shy.

    • How many times have you seen him in person

  • Not by itself. Talk to him about it. It's a sexual preference and has nothing to do with their general attitude toward others.

  • Depends how hardcore he is!

  • Enjoy it...

  • I don't think so

  • I personally am not into the BDSM lifestyle so I would reccomend steering away from it

  • It's a red flag if it's not your thing

  • Well... It dépends, does it excite U? Is he un soft or hard BDSM...

  • You need to ask questions and research it. If its your thing it can be great

  • BDSM is a red flag if it is non mutual. I suggest to try it once, by using safe words etc (only if you trust the guy) and see if you look it.
    Most guys will engage in BDSM only once in a while. I dont every intercourse you have will be BDSM.
    If you already know that you dont like it, you can talk about and discuss how to do things

  • Only you can answer that question. For some women it would be a red flag if he was NOT into BDSM.

  • Yes, run. Generally, they indicate psychological issues. Not saying this for any bias against the act.