He keeps getting boners all the time on an off due to me. Is it just lust?

[Anonymous]

He's 25 and my recent boyfriend. I'm 21. I haven't granted him intercourse yet but we have done the rest. We'll make out, etc, until we both come. Then we'll talk and cuddle and he'll have another boner, on and off, then we'll go at it again. It lasts hours and hours. Even after we came back from running and I was just pecking him and cuddling a bit, he got a boner. Before me, he was in a relationship of nearly 6 years. I think she was his first and only girlfriend. Now he keeps saying he doesn't get why he gets hard all the time like he's 16 again. It's incontrollable, even when we're just on the phone it seems. He's very athletic if that's any indication, so I wonder if it has to do with that. Is it just the honeymoon phase? He wakes up with a boner in the middle of the night cause he feels me there next to him. I find it very endearing but I wonder if it's just cause he's craving intercourse really badly. It's gotten to the point where he forbids me to do certain things that arouse him too much cause it makes it too hard for him to restrain himself from going too far physically. I don't want our relationship to be based solely on sex. We joke a lot, we have similar personnalities, we share hobbies together, yet the attraction is out of this world.

[Anonymous]

You sleep together, but won't "grant him intercourse", and are offended that he wants to distance himself from the temptations and natural feelings he has towards you, out of his respect? Your choice of words reveals all. Spare the poor guy: either start considering him as your human equal, or leave him and do what you really want deep down: to become a dominatrix or batting for the other team.

Guys can't control when they go hard, and FYI, when men are in the REM phase of sleep (like waking up), they always get an erection.

The guy's just trying to survive in your bent & poisoned relationship by keeping you from driving him crazy, and you complain about that, yet instead of discussing sex with him like two adults, you've come to your own conclusion about what you will & won't 'grant' him? The guy's human, and trying to respect you: obviously so alien a concept that you'll never comprehend it. This poor hapless man.

Forget ambulances: instead, keep your eye on your rear view mirror for a vehicle with the letters 'K-A-R-M-A'.

[26ukdude]

Yeh if the OP is reading this its a case of "lead us not into temptation" which he clearly is being led into, sleeping next to his girlfriend, doing other stuff with her, but not able to have sex? the poor guys hormones are probably screaming at him to and he can't. I can't imagine the level of frustration he must be experiencing, it will lead to anger and resentment in the long run and he may seek it out elsewhere, he's 25 not 15.

[Asker]

Dudde get off your high horse. I am not offended, my choice of words is due to English being my second language and I obviously know that men get hard when they wake up. Bent and poisoned relationship, etc, fuck man you're blowing things way out of proportion. What if we've only been dating for a week or so and I want to be on the pill first because pregnancy risks make me insecure? That's a plain machiavelic plan right, to make him wait till I feel comfortably safe? Next time, don't make assumption based on your bitter experiences with women.

[Asker]

@ 26ukdude Read answer above. Anger and resentment in the long run for waiting a month-ish to have intercourse after we started dating. I think it's not a huge deal. I won't have intercourse when I'm not on the pill as I don't feel safe with just a condom. And since I have been on the pill for a month only before (my last relationship faded away quickly), which screwed up my hormones badly once I stopped the pill after just one pack, I don't want to risk repeating this experience. This past relationship ended unpredictably, so could this one, so I'd like to confirm that it's getting serious before I risk repeating the same mistakes.

[TadCurious]

And why, exactly, is this a problem? He's fit and healthy, and obviously VERY attracted to you. And -- breaking news! -- he definitely wants to have intercourse with you. But he also is respecting your limits. You're both in the prime of your lives; this is just Nature that's happening. How long will you make him wait?

[islands7]

Honeymoon period

[manwithoutmap]

Honeymoon period. Give in, spread your legs and enjoy it while it lasts! Having sex when he wants you doesn't mean that your relationship is based only on sex. Not having sex when he clearly wants you that bad means that sooner or later his frustration will make him seek a more willing partner.

[Tractorbeam]

If he wanted to enjoy a meal with you, would you say he's just there for the food?
You should start worrying when he's no longer like that, because it will mean he's no longer atrracted to you or in love with you.

[godfatherfan]

Sounds like you really turn him on. You have a great relationship so he is naturally going to strongly desire you. Since you haven't had sex with him i am sure his mind is in overdrive thinking about doing that with and to you. Sounds like you e been together for a while. If your sleeping in the same bed what are you waiting for? Seems more like cruel punishment.

[26ukdude]

Its probably because there's "one step more" i. e intercourse that he's not getting, it may well calm down after that, having said that its normal for a guy in his late teens or early twenties to get them all the time, we dont really have control of when we get erections by the way

[Anonymous]

I think he is just that attracted to you. I think it is great that you are holding off on intercourse. Don't do something you are not ready to do/aren't comfortable with. He will appreciate you more for it. How long have you two been dating?