He made me feel so cheap😭?

Last night after the shower I put a lingerie and went to bed when my boyfriend came to bed and he saw me he snapped at me and we had a fight (because we had sex for two days in a row and he thinks I should be satisfied and not wanting any thing). Although it's rare for me to initiate sex but when he does want it and I'm not in the mood I rarely say no to him. During the fight I started to cry and couldn't control myself which happens to anger him more , we spent the night in separate rooms, in the morning we went to our work wighout speaking , I don't know what to do I feel so dirty and cheap , and what amazed me that he think he is right. I don't know how to handle this situation since it has never happened to me before, what do you think I can do to make him understand what I feel and to the situation to not happen again?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • He's very insecure and an ass. He also emotionally manipulates you and attacks you. I'd say get rid of him but you say you won't.

    Read stuff on emotional manipulation and don't let him do this stuff to you. If you are horny, you are horny nothing to be upset about. Horniness is good and healthy, no matter what some bullshitters say. His problem is probably he couldn't quite "face up to the challenge" and feels threatened and in order to deflect he lashed back in anger. Also, emotional manipulation is sometimes unintentional but it doesn't make it any less bad.

    You shouldn't feel cheap, you don't have any reason for that. He is abusive to you and makes you feel it's your fault. Read up on emotional manipulation and emotional abuse. Learn to deal with that (I mean learn to defend yourself, not take it in). Expect divorce down the line :( Or just dump him now if he keeps behaving like this.

  • I think you have to realize that sometimes he may not be in the mood just as you may not be in the mood.

    I think you should talk to him about being a little more sensitive to the issue and you should be too! There should be no curt words towards the other person when this happens. The first thing I would do is ask if there is anything on their mind that is bothering them.

    Obviously when a guy says he is not in the mood, there are things heavily playing on his mind. I have found that sometimes if you take a more sensitive stance and talk about it, it brings you closer together when they open-up and sometimes the other person feels more in the mood because you showed them you care.

Most Helpful Girls

  • I really don't understand why he got mad. If he didn't feel like it, he should have just told you. I think he felt embarrassed that he didn't want sex/couldn't satisfy your needs, so he took it out on you, trying to make you feel bad about wanting it, just to avoid admitting his sex drive is not as high as yours. That happens since men are expected to be kind of "sex machines". I think you should talk to him about it, make him understand it's not healthy to blame you for wanting sex and that he should be honest with you instead of playing with your mind

    • Excuse me Barbara I am a sex machine. 😜

    • @akadatank44 Lmao :D

  • You two clearly have a serious lack of sexual compatibility and he certainly seems to have a serious lack of respect for you to berate you for trying to initiate sex. Never in my life would I believe that a man could get pissed at a girl for wearing lingerie.

    What's worse is he got even angrier that you cried. Yeah, I can't imagine why your sex life isn't grand.

    I say ship out. I can't even offer a piece of genuine advice to fix the situation outside of you two seeking counseling. I personally think you are far better off without him.

  • He's 35? Yeah guys at that age (well not all of them) can't last the same as a guy in their 20s. I'm dating a 38 year old so I understand because I have a really high sex drive and don't get me wrong, he makes a lot of effort but after we've had a few sessions he doesn't wanna carry on and that's ok, I just let him go to sleep. So I think it's that he doesn't think he's up to it and he was kind of embarrassed at being expected to go for it again and you kind took him by surprise. That's my guess anyway :)

    • I thought of it like that , I'm 25 and my sex drive honestly is increasing and I think he can't keep it up with me , I hardly ever make the first move because I'm pretty satisfied about our sex life until recently (unfortunately ).

    • Haha same girl! I'm 26 and my sex drive is crazy high. Yeah same, I try not to make the first move cause I've been rebuffed a few times but it's usually cause we've already done it a lot and he's tired or he doesn't think he'd last. I think they don't want to hurt their ego too. I think it's worth talking to him about it, I mean mine has said to me 'I just don't last like I used to and if you want someone who can keep going you have to stop chasing older men'. But if you want to stay with him just let him know it's something you both need to communicate about and be honest about so it doesn't come to a fight next time :)

    • Thanks for MHO :)

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  • Just as you should have the right to not want sex at a particular time, he should have that right too. What isn't ok is for either party to get angry or verbally attack the other. In the future if you REALLY don't want sex say NO (wanting to be convinced into is a different story).
    This probably isn't your issue, but I know I'm more horny when the recent sex isn't really doing it for me. I want release and am frustrated after a couple disappointing nights. He got his, you deserve your too :)

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What Girls & Guys Said

10 18
  • Why was he angry? That you wore lingerie but didn't sleep with him that night?

    • No , because I wanted sex in the first place

    • Oh, you wore it to initiate sex and he didn't want to have it? Right. Well him getting angry is an overreaction, and if you guys can't talk calmly in a respectable manner about it, then you will continue to have arguments like this. You need to be able to discuss your needs and how the are different, then reach a compromise so both needs are met. But there's no need for either one of you to become angry over it.

  • He snapped because you were in the mood for sex, that two days in a row should somewhat hold you over.. that shouldn't make you cheap but realize that your boyfriend doesn't see sex as something important in your relationship. You did something thoughtful.. normally men would not be mad about that. You have a huge twat on your hands

  • You two clearly on are pretty different pages sexually. I feel like a couple's therapist would be very helpful in finding that common ground.

  • You have as many rights as him. So if you want sex, you must be able to tell him and he should respect that desire. Then its up to him to accept the invitation or reject it, but in a friendly way. A relation is based on equality, not on dominance. Its important you express towards him that you felt hurt after last night. Speak in the "I" way. That is less agressive and is better to express your feelings and leaves an opening for the other to express his without going defensive.

  • He's and ass
    Your more than welcome to lay in my bed with lingerie I promise this you will not feel cheap but well worked over

    • Oh... I wish If I woke up well worked but no I slept crying and now I'm just ferocious of him

    • Fuck it only please yourself and the next time he wants some be like I gave you some last month

  • do you feel dirty or cheap? or rejected?

    i think you need to have a conversation in which basically the topic is how he reacted to seeing you. you being in the mood for sex and him not shouldn't result in him flipping out and starting a fight. he could simply say, "sorry babe i'm not really not in the mood at the moment"

    i think that's what the convo should be about. how he reacts and handles situations.

  • He sounds like he's controlling and has big issues... i would think twic before going out again with a person like this... what if he starts to beat u later on? Better leave while u still have a chance and cut contact with him

  • A guy that have problem with more sex with his girlfriend, his manliness is under serious question, especially if he is not much older then you.

    tvtropes.org/.../AManIsAlwaysEager

  • I guess you should break up. Man who makes you feel as cheap and dirty and man who doesn't care about your tears is not a man you should spend your time with.

  • he's overreacting!.. you should really think whether you wanna be with him or not

  • Your boyfriend is weird

    • how? he fucked her for two days in a row. I think the asker is weird

    • @yousexxybaby you are strange too. Stop talking to me. Bye.

    • Asker tell him if he wants to have to do sex next time, you have the right to say noooo too

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  • He snapped at you just for wear lingerie? 😕

    • Yep, because I supposed to be satisfied by the sex of the previous two days

  • Just tell it to him the way you told us.
    You can t be selfish in a rl and you can t make your so feel less of himself because of you. It s not healthy

    • whats up

  • Why the fuck did he snap at his hot sexy girlfriend when she wanted him to fuck you? This dude is wacko. Best to move on. Any dude would of been like yessssss if he came home to his girl in sexy lingerie. He sounds abusive and plays with your mind.

  • Your boyfriend is an asshole.

  • Come move in with me I'll take care of all your problems bby

  • Any guy in his right mind would have loved that
    You're man has something going on or he's just fucked. How long have u been together? Red flag right there man

    • We are together for 6 years.

    • I dunno. Seems really weird to me. Has he ever been like this before or had a bad temper?

    • We never had that kind of issue since i rarely initiate sex

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  • Damn. What's wrong with him? What a douche.

  • I feel bad for you. He is being selfish and an ass. Even if he cannot get his stuff hard, the least he could do was to hug you all night.

  • Maybe he's borderline. Narcissists are very prudish and asexual because they don;t understand intimacy and affection.

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