He's trying to avoid telling me if he's sleeping with anyone else. How should I approach this?

[Anonymous]

I've been seeing this guy for a while - we've been on 8 dates so far. We've started having sex and recently there was a mishap where the condom came off (however I'm on the pill, so I wasn't too worried from a pregnancy point of view). Because of this moment of unprotected sex, I thought I should ask him afterwards if he's sleeping with anyone else, because it puts me at risk if he is. I realise it was stupid of me not to clarify this with him before, but it only just dawned on me afterwards. When I asked him, he hesitated and avoided answering the question, only saying that he'd had a sexual health check up a few months ago and it was fine. Regardless of this, I'd still like to know if he's sleeping with anyone else at the moment, because as I mentioned it puts me at risk, and I don't want to continue sleeping with him if he is. How can I approach this topic again?

[AustinMan]

I think you get tested and insist he do as well. If appropriate for your climate, don't forget zika. Sit him down and have a calm, direct, matter of fact conversation. Tell him that since you had one unplanned incident of unprotected sex, you need to know 1) that he''s healthy today and 2) that if you're going to have these kinds of incidents, you insist on exclusivity for health reasons. If he still dodges the question, make it an ultimatum.

[AustinMan]

Thanks for the MHG! Have you talked?

[OlderAndWiser]

You must initiate the talk. Do so in a situation where you are both unlikely to be contemplating having sex. This talk has the potential to immediately lead into a breakup, so you should probably follow the rules for how to have a break up talk:

www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a11588-some-practical-advice-for-how-to-break-up

[JellyBean333]

Just be straight up and ask him

[singlebee]

If he is avoiding your question then he is already sleeping with someone else too.. so be careful other wise your don't want a permanent STD