He said he can't feel Sex with a condom. We are just starting to date, I don't want to have Sex raw yet, what are my options?

so I met a nice guy. We dated for some time and then had Sex. I demanded a condom to be worn. He didn't cum. I asked whats wrong and he said he feels nothing with a condom and can't come.
To me thats a pretty hurtful Statement. Why have Sex then. I may just use a Dildo...
I feel like its him pressuring me to raw Sex which im not ready for. I don't know him well enough and he could be all over the place. He said we could keep having Sex with a condom to please me only. I don't even feel like that anymore. Whats the fun in this.
What do you think are my Options?
He said he has always been like that all his life, but he is 47 and his longest relationship was 2 years. So how many women has he dogged raw 🤦‍♀️
0 1

Superb Opinion

  • Well indont think he said it to be hurtful, I've heard it can reduce a lot of feeling for us guys. What is your reason for demanding the condom?, are you worried about STDs or getting pregnant or both? If it is about getting pregnant, you could try other things with him like blowjobs or a anal, maybe a handjob would be a good enough compromise to him. I would not recomend going no condom like he wants, not yet, not till you know for sure you can trust him, dont go outside your comfort zone to please a man sexually.

    Just reread, ask him to get tested, if he's got nothing to hide it shouldn't offend him, and it will show he's willing to do some sort of compromise, if he knows you won't let him in raw cause your worried about what he may have and he still refuses to get test it may be time to let him go.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Condoms diminish sensations for all men. It may be a negligible amount, or it may ruin the night. Circumcised men in particular lose what little sensation they have, as they already lack about 80% of what a normal penis has. If he's circumcised, that will explain most of the issue.

    Your reaction to his honesty and issue (clearly proven by his anaorgasmia) is blatantly selfish. He's not enjoying it, so you're offended and then question his past. That is not a sign of much potential for the future if you are already this upset. Imagine if the role was reverse, and you weren't getting off. It's blamed on the guy. In this case you also blame him for his own issue. It's a double standard, and I think he should probably move on amd be safe.

Most Helpful Girls

  • Raw sex feels better than when he wears a condom, that's true.
    However, it's not true that wearing a condom completely eliminates sensations for the guy. Based on what you said about how he's 47 and his longest relationship lasted only 2 years... he's probably got a bad case of the death grip.
    '
    He said we could keep having Sex with a condom to please me only. '
    ... wtf? That's controlling af. Don't give into his guilt tripping.

  • Leave him. He's lying and being a little bitch about it.

    Men can cum just fine with a condom.

    Do you really want to get pregnant or get an STD for this guy? Just use your toys until you find a man who can wear a condom like a responsible adult.

    Don't indulge this idiot.

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What Girls & Guys Said

3 15
  • Find a new guy, what a manipulative shit.

  • Condoms do kill a lot of the sensations. Are you on birth control? Have you both been tested? Do you feel confident that the relationship is exclusive?

  • I also think he was trying to push to see if you could do it raw. Judging by my past experience, I'd say I might be the same in terms of feeling, though. I even had problems coming at first without a condom, so I guess with one I just won't feel anything (and before someone jumps to the attack, I'm perfectly aware it isn't normal, and it means I probably lost sensitivity there or something). You're right on insisting on doing it with a condom, and that he probably had tons of unprotected sex before. Don't take the advice of giving him blowjobs, because that's dangerous too: You can totally catch diseases that way

    • Oh, and rereading my comment it might sound like I had tons of unprotected sex. I only had it with one person, not several, but it's the only sex I ever had

  • Good for you for holding your ground on the use of condoms. If he has an objection to them there are other ways around it.

    • Like what? How is it even possible to not feel anything. I never gave birth, my Vagina isn't loose. How is it even possible he feels nothing?

    • He might be exaggerating. He probably does feel something. Also there are some thin but durable condoms that allow for more feeling. I've had difficulty orgasming with a condom but to me it is no big deal. The use of toys can come in handy for this. Masturbating together, etc. It is all good fun. I don't see condoms as a negative thing at all. 😎

    • That's what I think. It seemed like he said it to push to go raw. Because when I said, "then we just pause with the sex until we are ready to go without a condom". He suddenly felt a little and didn't want that either. I don't know why but it turned me off so bad

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  • Don’t have sex with him raw until he gets tested for STIs. You should get tested too.

    Until then I guess you could finish him off with your mouth or hands. Up to you.

    • Wondering if you can't catch diseases while giving blow Jobs because thats whta I thought

    • Stick to your guns sweety!!

    • You definitely CAN catch diseases with blow jobs, even AIDS (the chances are lower than in vaginal, but still there).

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  • Stick to your policy of requiring a condom.

  • First let me just say that if he doesn't respect how you feel about raw sex at this point in your relationship he doesn't deserve to be with you.

    That being said, you could tell him you'll finish him off with a blowjob as a reward for wearing the condom

  • Dump him. So he can find someone that isn't so judgey and uptight.
    Condoms suck - like taking a shower with a raincoat. If you're worried about std's then both get tested. The fuck your brains out.

    Seems EVERYTHING is ALL about YOU. Typical. FAIL

    • Bravo the guy wore the condom he just doesn't like finishing it and she's making a big issue out of it

  • toys, fingers, or insist he wear a condom (and he quits over exaggerating)

  • If you aren't willing to go raw yet, don't go raw. Tell him he can either use a condom, or not have sex. If he chooses to leave over that, you'll know what kind of "man" you turned down.

  • Give him a BJ

  • Give him a hand job after, you'll be saved that way

  • Don't do if you don't feel comfortable. I have done both.. be careful :)

  • No way you're 36-45

    • I'm 37. Newly divorced.

    • You're too old and too experienced to ask a question like this

    • I never met a man who can't feel anything with a condom. That was new to me.

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  • Be careful boys mainly don't like condoms but take care of short term stories n STD

  • " I don't know him well enough" then y tf r u sleepin w him. retarded

    • my point is that you are correct

  • Maybe he’s trying to manipulate you but maybe not. I’ve had sex with guys in the past and a couple of them weren’t able to cum with a condom, so I don't know. Just keep your eyes open if you continue with him. You’ll know pretty quickly if he’s going to be patient with you or if he turns up the pressure to go raw.

  • You are wasting your time and treasure. There is no reason to try to fix this. It has no future and will end in sorrow. If you were truly in love and fully open with each other in wanting to find a solution as a team, there are strategies. There is nothing intimate or loving here and I won't waste digital ink on it. Get out as soon as you can.