He went back to his ex :(?

[private14]

Hey everyone! I was seeing this guy for about 7 weeks and we got on really well. He messaged me every evening and morning and he introduced me to all his friends who loved me. We spent time together and laughed and had loads of fun together. Good sex and amazing kisses.

A few weeks down the line - he tells me that things are getting serious and he was starting to treat me like a girlfriend. He said he didn’t want to hurt me and that he knew I would get hurt and so we should stop what we are doing. He said he isn’t looking for anything serious either. I accept this and say that I’m not comfortable with carrying on texting and that’s the end of that.

Next thing I see - his ex is back from New Zealand on holiday in our hometown. She is posting his house and animals all over her Instagram as if to mark her territory. He said they broke up for a reason, his friends said they didn’t like her, he said she was hard to make cum and so he dreaded going home to her, he said she called him and alcoholic etc etc and so he kicked her out.

My question to you all is - why has he gone back to someone who he knows doesn’t work with him? And what happens when she leaves? Please help.

[summiter]

He never really got over her... and tbh he probably misses the sex with her. He should not have done this to you... just try to remember the fun orgasms you had with him... but it is time to move on... your thoughts?

[private14]

Yeah - I agree. It baffles me how you can love someone so incompatible with you. He also says he gets bored easily so I’m almost waiting for that! What happens when she leaves though? He finds someone else? She comes back for holiday again and the cycle just continues?

[summiter]

When she leaves he will have to get use to jerking off frequently ( yes all younger guys do it frequently... but most will never admit it) He will probably find someone else in the interim until she returns or hopefully he will just grow up and mature a bit. How was the sex with him... I'm sure you can find someone who is a bit more stable and caring for you?

[private14]

😂 sex was really really good. So I’m like - we had an amazing thing going - what gives? Did he really care about hurting me? Maybe he just wants to sleep with her while she is here and then pursue a relationship? 😕 which won’t happen of course. Your are right - I need someone better. Just want to understand this better.

[summiter]

I don't think he even thought about hurting you... even though that is what happened. It was selfish of him. Time to look forward and just chalk it up to a weird (partially fun) time together.

[private14]

So it was an excuse to stop talking to me? Saying he didn’t want me to get hurt?

[summiter]

Yeah... it was a shit poor excuse

[HighValue]

My advice would be to always try to avoid dating anyone that has any contact with any of their exes. It usually leads to problems.

[scott04sa22]

Sorry to hear that. I broke up with someone a few days ago 😒

[private14]

Yeah? How come? And how are You feeling about him/her now?

[scott04sa22]

We broke up because her family didn’t like me and there was no way on making peace with them. They’re very judgmental with me

[JPresidente]

Probably because they had a connection despite all the arguments and they probably had great sex. I guy will put up with a lot of shit if the sex is good and/or there is a strong connection.

[private14]

Thanks for this! Now I’m wondering if she will move back here 👀 and they will live happily ever after and their issues will magically disappear 😅 do you think he even thinks about me or misses me?

[JPresidente]

As for him and the girl, there is bound to be something come up again and cause a fight so I don't know if they'll live happily ever after because those issues they had won't go away. Since they're not married, they could potentially break up again because his patience may be tried with those same issues. As for thinking about you, I would say yes, he will. He'll probably treasure the moments you spent together and have a spank bank full of your romps. He will also wonder "what if?" at some point when it comes to the two of you.

[private14]

Super helpful. Thanks so much. Man guys are complicated. Or actually - very simple. Sex and good looking girls is what they want. Everything else doesn’t really matter :( well that’s what this has left me feeling. I so appreciate your time and opinion. Thanks

[JPresidente]

No problem. We are actually very simple. Feed us, have sex with us regularly and appreciate us for the things we do for you and that's it. Where things always blow up is when we don't get sex regularly and don't feel appreciated. You do these things and any guy will treat you like a queen, do things for you, nurture you and protect you. Glad I could help! I hope the guy realizes what he had with you and comes back to you. You seem like a great person whom he could build a long relations ship with.

[private14]

Thank you!!! :) :)

[JPresidente]

You bet! Best of luck to you!

[Havthrills]

Question: was she away the whole time or just part of the time you and him were together?

[private14]

The whole time. A day before she got back - he told me that things weren’t working out and he couldn’t commit. So he knew they would get back together or start seeing eachother. Or - they were already talking.

[Havthrills]

Or they never broke up.

[private14]

That is what I am starting to think.

[Havthrills]

That what my first thought was when I read it. Sorry.

[Northernmost84]

All I can say is I feel your pain and sorry things didn’t work out, healthy functioning people have intimacy with another person with pure intentions and plan for a future. It’s always difficult to speculate on someone else’s state of mind or their true motivation for ending a relationship. I would not think of this as your fault or beat yourself up. I hope you feel better soon and experience happiness with a worthy man in the future

[private14]

Yeah! It’s super tough. Seeing her everywhere I sat, doing all the things we did together. He clearly does it with every girl. Which is even sadder to be honest. I agree. It’s great to hear from a man that you can want a future with a lady and not just to sleep around with as many different pretty girls as you can. Yeah - I do wish I was prettier but hey - nothing I can do about that. Thanks for the advice :) :)

[Northernmost84]

Your welcome, breakup’s are hard I’ve been there too. I’m sure your not unattractive and it’s not the reason he broke up with you