Help a guy who’s about to lose his virginity?

Question

My girlfriend and I are going to do it in a few days from now. I want to get your guys’ tips and some recommendations, and also i wanted to ask some questions... so here goes:
1) I know what is condom used for, but do i actually need to ejaculate into it or can i take it off and ejaculate somewhere else?
2) How long should the foreplay last?
3) How long should the entire sex session last?
4) Are ribbed condoms okay or do i need regular ones?
5) Does it have to be only missionary, or can we try different poses?
6) What should i use to prevent potential blood stains, since my bed is also my sofa?
7) Do i need lube?
8) Is she supposed to orgasm via oral sex before penetration or during the penetration?
9) Should i buy candles and have some romantic music or movie playing in the background, you know, women stuff?

Thats about it, thank you for your time and i hope that you can make my first time that much better. As i said, feel free to drop your own tips down in the opinions tab.

MlleCake · Accepted Answer

1) I know what is condom used for, but do i actually need to ejaculate into it or can i take it off and ejaculate somewhere else?

Yes, but keep the ejaculate away from the vagina, and don't put your penis back near the vagina until it has been washed off.

But honestly, you might not really have time to whip off a condom and do it elsewhere. You may not want to in the moment.

2) How long should the foreplay last?

There is no such thing as foreplay, because it's ALL sex, and there isn't anything it has to come before or after.

You should both engage in things you find mutually pleasurable to build full arousal. Here is more about arousal:

https://youtu.be/WmZnNWtQ2DE

If you plan to have coitus (penis in vagina sex), and you don't know if you'll be able to do much after you have your orgasm, you should work to help her have an orgasm before you try to have intercourse. Most women can't orgasm from simple coitus. You should understand that when she doesn't orgasm before you put your penis in, she probably won't have one.

You and she will have to communicate openly about what you each like, what works for her to build arousal and have orgasm. It takes time to learn how your lady responds to various stimulation and what works. And because of the way women are kept in the dark and shamed about sex and told that the only right orgasm is the one had during coitus, she may not fully be aware of what she needs or how to tell you. You may need to create the safe space for exploration.

Here is more about this issue: www.psychologytoday.com/.../the-orgasm-gap-simple-truth-sexual-solutions

3) How long should the entire sex session last?

As long as it takes for you to both be satisfied with the experience. Women are so often left without an orgasm that they often just accept there is something wrong with their body for not orgasming during coitus.

4) Are ribbed condoms okay or do i need regular ones?

Ribbed condoms really don't do anything that you think they do. They are mostly undetectable, but can sometimes be a little irritating to her vagina. Not worth the bother at all.

5) Does it have to be only missionary, or can we try different poses?

Do you think a Catholic Missionary is going to stand there and tell you you're making Jesus mad by going doggy style?

Try all of whatever you're interested in as long as you know how to do it safely.

6) What should i use to prevent potential blood stains, since my bed is also my sofa?

All that stuff about the hymen is B U L L S H I T.

If she's aroused, lubricated enough and relaxed there probably won't be any blood. And that blood you may see is more likely to be from roughing up the vaginal wall than tearing a hymen, so be gentle, don't force your penis in, and use enough lube.

Here read this and send her a link to this so she can read it: The Hymen and Your First Time: You Do Not Have to Feel Pain or Bleed! ↗

7) Do i need lube?

Yes. Always have a lube that works for her body available every time you have sex. Your standard water-based lubes dry out quickly, and the chemicals used can promote growth of the wrong organisms in a vagina. Skip the flavored ones, or all the warming/tingling/cooling ones. For a water based lube I prefer Sliquid Sea.

I also recommend a silicone based lube as long as any sex toys being used are not made of silicone. It's long lasting, great for vaginal and anal, great with condoms, but can sometimes build up a little if used often which can be a little irritating to the vagina. Having a good hot bath will help her get her vulva and vagina cleaner.

Is she supposed to orgasm via oral sex before penetration or during the penetration?

She is supposed to orgasm from whatever works for her. You and she may need to discuss and experiment with that.

Don't leave her hanging.

Justagirl106 · Accepted Answer

1. You can cum in the condom or take the condom off and cum somewhere else. I would discuss this with your girlfriend before the act because she might have a preference. Just don't cum near/on/in her vagina.
2. The length of foreplay depends on what you guys want it to be. I would say you guys should take things slow, the more making out and foreplay that you can do, the better. It will help her become more aroused and make it easier to put your penis inside her.
3. The actual amount of time that you guys will probably have penetrative sex will be a couple minutes. The first time, some guys last a couple seconds and some last a couple minutes. Don't worry about it though, because it is new to both of you and you'll be able to look forward to the next time you guys have sex. Also, if for some reason you are nervous or worried or uncomfortable and you can't get hard or stay hard, it is OK. If you tell your girlfriend you're nervous, I'm sure she will understand. Plus, you guys can go back to foreplay for a little while and then try penetration again later.
4. Ribbed or regular condoms are fine.
5. You can do whatever poses you want, just make sure to talk to your girlfriend about it. She might be more comfortable in missionary the first time, or she might want to try cowgirl if she is worried about you accidentally going in too deep or hurting her. Side note about that- be gentle! Listen to her if she says to stop or pull out.
6. I would suggest putting a towel or two over your bed/sofa, that way neither of you will have to worry about any bodily fluids getting on the furniture.
7. You don't need lube, but it would probably be helpful. I naturally get really wet, so I was fine without lube, but if she's nervous she might not be able to get as wet as normal. Also, they make condoms that already have lube on them!
8. Because it is her first time, I don't think she will orgasm at all. Everything is new, there are nerves, and making a partner orgasm takes practice and experience. So don't get offended if she doesn't orgasm! I would definitely suggest performing oral on her during foreplay though.
9. As far as all the "girly" or "romantic" stuff goes, do whatever you think will make you both comfortable and in the mood. For my first time, there wasn't any of that stuff, and I was fine with that. But I definitely wouldn't have minded candles and music as background noise.

I'm so glad that you're taking the time to think about all of these things, your girlfriend is lucky to have you! If you have any other questions or just need someone to talk to, you're welcome to pm me anytime! :)

fauchelevent · Accepted Answer

1. You can do either. Just make sure that it's on right and remember that if you're going back inside her, use a new condom. Even if you're not about to ejaculate, some studies have shown that precum can contain live sperm that could potentially impregnate someone so wear a condom any time you're inside someone - better safe than sorry. Also, you still need to be concerned about STIs.

2. However long you think. Just try to do your best to satisfy the other person, gt comfortable and enjoy yourself. Don't think about time, think about what you're doing. Quality over quantity and all that, I guess? If you're trying to get up to a certain time or you're stressing over time, you're not going to be able to relax as easily, you need to just have fun.

3. Same as 2. Think less about the time spent and more about making the experience pleasurable for all involved.

4. Any would be fine, as long as they fit you right. If the other person is also a virgin, maybe look for some that are designed to be more lubricated (or maybe invest in some lube too, just make sure that it doesn't dissolve the rubber, look into what type of lube it is)

5. Do whatever you're both comfortable with.

6. Maybe put a sheet down?

7. As I said on 4, it could be a good idea but make sure you get a kind that is safe to use with rubber.

8. There is no 'supposed' to. That being said, it would be considerate and would help her relax and therefore help everything go smoother if you were to get her to orgasm at least once before penetration.

9. Sure, if you want, though a movie and music might be distracting.

I_smell_Ducky · Accepted Answer

1. As long as you don't finish in or around her lady bits you should be fine
2. The longer the better, as long as it doesn't get boring or start to hurt
3. Long enough for her to climax
4. Ribbed ones are just fine, in fact they are usually preferable.
5. Mix it up a bit, just don't try and run through a bunch if different things with out takingthe he time to enjoy it.
6. Lay down a towel
7. Probably not, but it would hurt anything to have some handy.
8. The more the better, , if you can get her off before putting it in you are above the curve.
9. Not unless you are going to make it like all special as fuck.
Bonus. Don't over think it, have fun, be safe.
Bonus 2. Accept that things probably won't go according to plan, be flexible and communicate with her the whole time.

lightbulb27 · Accepted Answer

Good to ask, but maybe you aren't really ready for this if so many questions? My point is, this is much better when it just happens in the moment than if it is some project plan being executed on a schedule. e. g. you get together for movie and the fireworks go off naturally vs, I got a plan on date/time!

Condom - make sure they fit... waste one in advance to know they fit. Have available to put on. yes cum into it.
Girls need 10-15min to warmup usually. again, if possible completely remove your head... it's useless and causes problems. Feel with heart, pay attention to her and her needs.
how long sex last - as long as possible. What you really want to do is pleasure her so that she has multiple orgasms if possible, then you pleasure and finish yourself. I'd say 7 hours... lol
ribbed vs regular - I'd regular for now, prob not matter
shouldn't need lube, she provides that naturally.
She should orgasm before in any way possible!
Definitely have candles! music can be good. Smell good.
Last things first, but not least... build it up all week or all day. Not directly, but indirectly... flirting, seduction, learn how to do this with fun verbal banter. builds suspense and tension, that is what makes M/F relationship work. e. g. "You looked so delicious in your red skirt the other day, reminds me of strawberry want to eat". Nothing directly said, insinuated. Make up stuff and have fun.

P. S. you shouldn't have sex, you are too young... lol:)! It's your life, make it good.

DonovanHarris · Accepted Answer

1. You cum into the condom. You could go without and pull out, but better safe than sorry, especially your first time.
2. Until you're both in the mood. She especially needs it for that natural lubrication or it will be incredibly uncomfortable.
3. Average is reported at 5-10 minutes, but longer is always better as long as she's enjoying it.
4. Either is fine.
5. Missionary is your safest bet for starters, you don't want to get too experimental when you have next to no idea what you're doing.
6. Lay down a towel or blanket if you have to.
7. Not required, but highly recommended.
8. Every woman is different, so you'll figure that out as you go.
9. Depends on the girl and what kind of impression you're trying to make.

EclipseoftheHeart · Answer

I think you need to use google and get some sex ed information before you decide to do the deed or it could get awkward..

JulieRoze7 · Answer

U guys could just snuggle & talk

jayo2289 · Answer

Just enjoy it mate, my 1st time I came within first 10 minutes, my advice if it's your 1st time do as much foreplay as possible, you will enjoy it more

Anonymous · Answer

1) I know what is condom used for, but do i actually need to ejaculate into it or can i take it off and ejaculate somewhere else? You can but make sure you ask her first if she is okay with it. If its her first time I will most likely be too much for you to cum on her.
2) How long should the foreplay last? Until she asked you to put it in her
3) How long should the entire sex session last? Make her cum first then you fun then sex will be over.
4) Are ribbed condoms okay or do i need regular ones? I can't ever feel the difference
5) Does it have to be only missionary, or can we try different poses? Try as many as you want. But for first time it will most likely be painful for her. I cried and curled up in a ball my first time.
6) What should i use to prevent potential blood stains, since my bed is also my sofa? A towel. A red one
7) Do i need lube? No she should get plenty wet herself. As long as you turned her on
Is she supposed to orgasm via oral sex before penetration or during the penetration? Girls hardly ever orgasm during penetration from a dick (you should still try tho). So best make her come orally first.
9) Should i buy candles and have some romantic music or movie playing in the background, you know, women stuff?
Every girl is different. For me I'd hate music or a movie. But candle light wouldn't be bad cuz its not bright bright but also not pitch black

Anonymous · Answer

Sorry x but i can't answer most of your questions but i can say good luck and have fun

3. Usually doesn't last long for virgins actaully
5. In any positions
7. Yes you will

And sure buy some stuff to make it romantic and special,

Help a guy who’s about to lose his virginity?

Most Helpful Girls

Most Helpful Guys

Related Questions

What Girls & Guys Said

Latest Questions