Guys, HELP did he cheat or masturbate?

[Anonymous]

Husband and I hadn’t had sex in 4 days. When we finally did at 1am today, there wasn’t a lot of cum and he wasn’t too excited or hard to be having sex. I woke him out of his sleep, by the way. And the night before he only got 3 hours of sleep because we were up arguing.

I asked why we hadn’t had sex and he said it was because of us fighting. I also asked why there wasn’t a lot and if he masturbated/cheated. He said no and that he hasn’t been sexually aroused since we had sex last Sunday morning.

Should I believe him or do we have more serious issues to worry about?

can a really bad night or no sleep cause a man to have less semen than normal or is it because he is lying and ejaculated without me?

[Paul_in_Indy]

I can only speak for myself on this, but: even if I had had four rounds of vigorous sex earlier in the day, if a few hours have passed and I was asleep, I wouldn’t be able to tell the difference in my sexual performance. Certainly I wouldn’t be able to tell the difference in my volume of semen ejaculated..

So, what you were describing doesn’t seem like it could be related to previous sexual activity. On the other hand, lots of things affect sex. If you wake him up without adequate sleep, you have to expect that it’s going to be a different experience.

[Asker]

Hm interesting. I was with him from 4pm and don’t think he masturbated…. Do you think that maybe he had a weaker ejaculation because he was tired and that could cause less semen?

[Paul_in_Indy]

Sure. Lots of things could affect it. I think I’m already on probation for “explicit” answers. So, message me if you want to discuss it further. —but I don’t think this is a big deal. You may other reasons for not trusting him, of course—and I can’t speak to those.

[hbg84]

Alright chill. You're acting like your husband should be a machine. Like you said you had been fighting lately. That right there puts a lot of stress on a mans mental and physical health. I wouldn't expect you to understand because you can't understand what men go through on a daily basis. The physical health is directly tied in with mental health. If your husband isn't in the right frame of mind his body won't physically work properly. In other words if he's not effectively turned on or into the sex mentality he will not achieve a fully hard erection. Thus if he isn't fully aroused it can cause a lack of semen that gets ejaculated.

[OlderAndWiser]

Aside from these circumstances, do you have any reason to not trust him?

[Asker]

I have some trust issues and I accuse him of cheating sometimes so I don’t know if it’s me or if I really have a reason not to trust him. So you think he’s lying about not being sexually aroused, not masturbating and possibly not cheating?

[OlderAndWiser]

There is no way for anyone on this site to know if he was telling you lies. Has he ever given you a reason to not trust him, or are you just insecure and ready to assume the worst?

[Asker]

I’ve definitely caught him in some lies before but I’ve never caught him cheating or talking to women. I’m worried he has a porn addiction or something because how could there not be a lot after 4 days? He’s 39 and is a little overweight in his stomach but normally after 4 days there’d be more

[OlderAndWiser]

He probably has been "choking the chicken" and he shouldn't lie about it, but why would you ask? Assume that is what happened; why is that important to you?

[Asker]

He swears he doesn’t do it. If you can’t be open about something then that means you’re a liar and that you shouldn’t be doing whatever it is that you’re lying about. It is super important when it’s affecting my sex life too. I would love to have sex every day or more but he can’t even be bothered to have sex with me after 4 days of nothing. That’s an issue.

[OlderAndWiser]

Do you think he should have sex with you even while you two are fighting?

[Asker]

I understand how he might not want to have sex with me if we’re fighting but going elsewhere isn’t the answer either. That just brings us further apart. We fought but I didn’t do anything without him.

[OlderAndWiser]

This is one of those things that men and women can't really understand about each other. His need for sexual release is a very, very strong driving force and he satisfied it in a way that did not involve being unfaithful to you. If he did this so often that he never had sex with you, that would be disrespectful to you and your marriage. . . but that is not what happened. If you feel that masturbation while married is being unfaithful, then there are very few men who could ever gain your approval.

[Asker]

I understand what you’re saying. I just don’t understand why he would go to such great lengths to lie to me about masturbation. He says he hasn’t masturbated since 2015 and that he would rather have sex. That’s an extreme lie to me. I also get that men do it and they “need” a release and that it’s not cheating with a real person. I would just like him to be honest about it if that’s something that’s a part of his life.

[OlderAndWiser]

He may have some very deep feelings of embarrassment about that subject.

[AMS700CX4u2]

My wife does that as well, I think it is related to the fact that after childbirth female don't sleep as well as before. But , having said that, I don't think any man can perform well after being awakened from sleep. Need more wake up time. If penetration occurs prior to the release of pre-cum, it is going to take longer and won't be his best performance.

[strateguy632]

definitely lack sleep caused. not cheat with lady. also self drain is not unfaithful nor cheating.

[Anpu23]

Libido in men is directly connected to their stress levels. More stress the less they want to have sex. And yes it can also effect sperm production.
www.news-medical.net/.../...ect-Sperm-Quality.aspx
So fighting and lack of sleep can certainly reduce both desire for sex and sperm.

[Sparkie460]

Stress does affect the amount of sperm

[dudeinohio]

Well, you woke him up and his body didn't have time to properly prepare itself. Also. You'd been fighting, so that's a pretty bad turn-off. You've been doing the wrong things and still expect him to perform. Unrealistic expectations.

[Snedger____]

Less interest in sex and less cum can be caused from tiredness or recent masturbation.
From this details nobody can say if he’s cheating or not.

[Asker]

Do you think it’s possible that he hasn’t even masturbated or been aroused in the last few days? If he masturbated then he lied to me which isn’t cool.

[Snedger____]

Umm I don't know

[Asker]

I don’t see how being tired could make him make less semen. I thought it depended only on the last time a man ejaculated?

[king34]

Unless he's getting toward erectile dysfunction age he's moat likely been coming without you, he could be lying out of embarrassment of jerking off, or could be cheating there's no way of knowing but if he were cheating I'm sure there would be other clues.

[Asker]

He’s 39 but he does have a bit of a pregnant looking beer belly. I don’t know if that makes a difference.

[In_Trance]

you need to chill

[Anonymous]

try giving a quality gak gak