Help! I'm starting to find other guys attractive?

So my boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years. Our sex life is generally great but sometimes in the middle of intercourse he would lose his erection. Lately it's happened more than the usual. I'm always the one to initiate stuff and he always seems very interested and gets it up immediately, so starting is not the problem. He repeatedly says it's not me or what I do, but that he is tired (note that he once also got soft even with me on top). The thing is after that lately I'm starting to find other guys attractive. Don't get me wrong I've always known if a guy is appealing or not. But lately I've become more sexually interested in guys, even some coworkers. To the point where I fantasize with them. I know myself and I would never ever cheat... but I still feel wrong for thinking this way. How do I stop it? I also masturbate at least 3 times a week to make sure its not my hormones making me horny.
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Viagra, may not work and he may have ED, it could be a psychological issue and there are numerous ways you can fix the problem, it's not always you so it might be a mental block or something is happening that is triggering this you could always have sex therapy.

    Also it's normal for you to feel that way so don't beat yourself about it. Maybe just don't act on it xD lots of girls I know have been in your position so it's not odd

    If you want more help start googling ways and methods in order to improve it and have a talk with him about it

    • We have had multiple talks and he always finds an excuse, he's tired, he doesn't feel like he's enough for that... etc

    • *enough for me

    • That is his mental block most likely if that's the cause so maybe you just reassure him that he is and such and make him feel better about himself.. try and find the time if you can and it will make it a lot better. by the way make sure he knows that it isn't embarrassing if he thinks he has 'that'

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  • Either find a solution for his erection or just leave

    Don't waste your or his time, you might just be not sexually compatible and that's okay
    You're not in the wrong as long as you don't do anything wrong
    If you feel like you might cheat or hurt him in some way because of this, then you should start planning on a good way to end it

    Does he watch porn often?

    • I don't think we are sexually incompatible bcs most of the times we have had really great sex. He's my best so far and I make sure to tell him often to boost his confidence.

    • And leaving him is a little insensitive because it might be a real problem I can help him go through, not to mention the fact that I love him very much

    • Well what if you couldn't help him get through it? Also you didn't tell me if he watches porn or not haha

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Be sure to tell your boyfriend you are having these feelings and work out a plan with him to change something inside or outside the bedroom.

    • I can't tell him I'm thinking about other men!!! And about that the last thing I decided is that I would let him initiate things from now on. I was always the one to do it. But I told him I would leave it to him so that he only does it when he is certain that he can go through with it

    • Wait, you mean you can't share something with your bf? I mean you don't have to go into details about the fantasies you are having, but you can admit to him that some of the guys you work with are attractive. He should feel free to admit to you when he sees attractive women. You are in a relationship but you are still human so you can look and have fantasies independent of your SO. Being open and honest about this will help increase your intimacy with him and again may lead to him initiating something new or original sexually to meet your needs. If you don't communicate with him, that is unfair. You clearly have needs that he isn't fulfilling and he isn't a mind reader. There is a reason why these men are turning you on, you need to give your SO an opportunity to turn you on in those ways or similar.

    • I understand where you're coming from and in other circumstances it might be the right thing to do. But right now his confidence is hurt enough and I don't think he could handle this kind of information.

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  • Tell your man to take a blue pill and give you the d

  • Fight the urges, your a good partner for not outright cheating on him. Consider erection pills (Viagra). If you can't stop thinking about other men, then try thinking ugly thought about those other men.

  • Well typical. Either end the relationship and hope that new guy you like has all the other stuff you need such as attraction. Or keep your boyfriend and everything he has.

    • I'd like to keep him. Leaving him is not an option here

    • In that case you’ll have spice it up with him in the bedroom helping you to forget about others. It’s important to remember all the work you went through to make this relationship up where it is. You’d have to start all over with that new guy and build to where you two are and that’s if he passes all of your wants and vice versa. The chance usually isn’t worth it.

  • tell your boyfriend to use Viagra, and if he watched too much porn and masturbate a lot then also tell him to stop doing that

    • We had problems with him watching porn before and at some point he said he would stop. But I caught him again later and he said he wouldn't stop. Instead I started watching porn too. Not a huge fan but it helps me get to where I want I guess

    • Maybe he does it too much but he says he doesn't. To be fair we don't live together so I can't always give him pleasure. That's why I understand that he might need to do it from time to time

    • im pretty sure that is the reason why he's loosing erection while having sex with you

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  • eat more veggies. statistically speaking, girls who eat their greens report a 20-30% increase in how long their partners last in bed. i would link to the official study if I had had the foresight to bookmark it 10 years ago.

    • I eat veggies regularly like every day... tho I'm not sure how that helps...

    • that's not enough. you must eat more. eat them every second that you're alive. swap air for veggies. if you want results you will do this. if you want encouragement, i will encourage you. If you want those lustful thoughts gone once and for all, you will consume no less than 2 raw carrots wrapped in romaine lettuce.. right.. now. GO. go young bird. and eat. eat.

    • Lmao you fooled me

  • you need sex, your hunger increasing and you are not getting enough.

    • Yeah i know that now how do i stop it from happening

    • either your boyfriend fuck you enough or you try with any of them.

    • What?

  • You need to share yourself while you can.

  • Typical female. The new cock urge is strong

    • I don't want to end things and like I said I would never cheat. This is just a bump in our relationship and I'm sure we will solve it