Hey everyone what do you think of what this girl says in this video? Ladies especially please chime in if you would?

[t-8900]

[AmandaYVR]

Yeah that was interesting. I agree with her.

It's difficult to distill down some kind of overall here, but I guess it's similar to the idea that confident people don't talk about being confident. Being braggadocios, or trying to prove one's agency, authority, awareness of their own internal value, is merely a display of something false. And talking about power could be a preoccupation with the concept of power.

She's right, there is a marked difference between power and empowerment.
In some ways, power is choice. (There is even a phrase, 'the power of choice.' But is that philosophy... or a clever marketing concept?) What I see a lot of young and simple females do is try to justify their choices are power. They are either unaware, or in denial, that asking for opinions about their choices, is not power. Seeking affirmation of one's value is not confidence. It's the inverse.
And what seems to go part and parcel with that, often, is 'I made a choice. Support me for my choice.' Why? Because you made it? Sometimes I think they try to disconnect the specific choice itself, from it being personal to them.

Some think sex is power. The power to choose one's own sexual behaviour. I do think it is everyone's choice, and that men and women should really not be judged differently for having similar desires. But where this falls flat is that quite often (but not always) females' sexual desire is about being desired. Not their desire for the man. The latter would be internal power of choice. The former is giving up one's value, by seeking it in another.

I just read a question about female rape fantasies. The roots of which, apparently, are 1. Sexual openness to experiences, 2. Desirability: The desire to bolster feelings of seductiveness and desirability. 'I’m so hot. I drive men crazy.', and 3. Avoidance of ownership of one's sexual feelings: desires may trigger feelings of anxiety, guilt, and shame. Fantasies about being forced take away one's agency, and responsibility, of desire.

This is where it gets murky. 'I want...' sounds empowering. But it begs the questions, 'What?' and 'Why?'

I don't think sexual choice is power. Nor is using one's sexuality to 'earn' money. I wouldn't say 'the oldest profession' is a profession. But it is a choice. I think it's just that, a choice. It has zero to do with actual power. It's selling something that men want, but they pay for it, and then the act is over, and afterwards, nothing has effectively changed. She exerted no actual power, and the exchange was a benefit to the two individuals, but did nothing at an 'organizational' or 'community' level. It's like a ripple in a pond that soon dissipates and disappears.

Hookup culture is more along the lines of temporary pleasure. No money is exchanged. But this isn't true power either, and for the same reasons. It influences nothing, changes nothing. In fact, it can emphasize, or entrench, feelings of loneliness, once the high is gone. Men seem to be less affected by that lack of connection, but they are also not immune to it. They know that what they have just experienced is shallow, and also says almost nothing about their own value. Only simple minds revere the man who have many notches on their bedpost. And/or deride the girl for being a notch. Or being the one to scratch the notch on her own list. Both are shallow ventures, and deep down, they know it.

It's time we disentangle true power from sexual or female empowerment. I think they have nothing to do with one another. And conflating them does ultimately devalue the concept of equality; and sameness. Agency is important, and everyone should strive for it. But agency does not mean every choice is sound. Power, or value, is probably something better defined as positive influence. Not just on oneself, but on others, on the world. What point is power, really, if it isn't affecting positive change?

[t-8900]

One thing young women and girls today don't understand is it's not their bodies that give them true power, it's their TOUCH. And they are worlds apart tbh. A woman can put her hand on a man's shoulder and get him to calm down, she can look into his eyes, put her hands on his face, and kiss him and make him cry. She's got the ability to change a man. NOT A BOY! NOT A THUG! An actual MAN! She can soften his heart and make him see a better path in life and move him in ways he never dreamed were possible! I respect the freedom of choice for all, but not the choices they make. And weather its a man or a woman the truly powerful ones are CHOOSY about who they bed and how many they bed and when/where they bed them. They show control, they show power, they show conviction, they show discipline, and they hold themselves to a higher standard and thus will only take someone of higher standards as well. love what you said about confidence and seeking other's approval and true power. I am NOT at that level of being powerful yet but I am quickly getting there. I believe I'm on the verge of another level up in who I am and in life. I can taste it coming.

[AmandaYVR]

Nice! I can feel it in you too.

[sunshineglow]

Beautiful posts by both of you.

[AmandaYVR]

@sunshineglow Thank you. 💐

[CrazyGirl2]

She makes a lot of sense, she is certainly knowledgeable about psychology, but I disagree with her about women not gaining external power. We have a female Vice President, women have ruled over every western democratic nation EXCEPT the US. Women are at higher levels of leadership within corporate environments than ever before. Even community power she mentioned in the beginning, there are more female mayors, county commissioners, property appraisers, and hold seats of power on boards of education city commissions, even corporate boards of directors (although the last one, women still have a long way to go to even be close to parity. I DO ABSOLUTELY agree with her on the sexual empowerment issue! I to have often wondered why it was so damn empowering to take one’s clothes off for the entertainment of men? And sexual shaming… geez especially here I have been shamed by virgins for not being a virgin (even though my virginity was taken by a rapist), I’ve been shamed by men for not being a virgin, for being literally worthless. The analogy was if a used car is worth less than a new car, then how is a used woman worth as much as a virgin? However… I’ve also been shamed for my sexuality “slut-shamed” as it were. So she makes an excellent point there. I also agree with her regarding the objectification, on how we get told that we are being “empowering” but what power is there in being a dehumanized object? And do we truly want empowerment or just to “feel good”? I absolutely loved her point at the end where she mentioned “if you’re going to do something “empowering” then it should empower ALL women, not just yourself!” A woman getting on the Supreme Court is empowering to all women at first glance, but if that woman removes the right to bodily autonomy for all women, then that’s not exactly FEMALE EMPOWERMENT! That “subjective empowerment, does not necessarily equal actual female empowerment! Great points all! Can to tell I’m a psych major? Seriously, I really did enjoy her presentation, I didn’t agree with everything, it CLEAR she is anti-hookup, and while I wouldn’t call them empowering for feminists everywhere, meeting a cute guy, fucking him, and saying ”hey that was amazing, now GTFO” is not only personally empowering, it beats the hell out of masturbating… again!

[CrazyGirl2]

@lliam Thank you for the like… Given only 1 like and zero comments, I guess nobody liked what I had to say… except you, I thank you for that.

[Lliam]

I liked your analysis of the video. You made some good points. Kudos, CrazyGirl2. :-)

[t-8900]

this was indeed good. Alas I am just now seeing this. Either my notifications were out the wazoo or i accidently missed this one. sorry about that. at the current rates however it seems like most if not all positions will eventually be handed over to women as it seems men no longer have the drive to compete for anything in the current social climate.

[CrazyGirl2]

That’s truly, a huge shame, boys desperately need male therapists! Let’s say on my first day working, or better yet, before that during my clinical rotations, do you honestly believe that a 10, 12, 4 or 16y/o boy would be MOSRE comfortable describing his sexual abuse at the hands of older, bigger boys, or even (god forbid) full grown adult men) in front of a 24-25y/o attractive blonde girl? Hell no! Young and teenage boys need good qualified male therapists to talk to, or women if they prefer that (sometimes the feeling of emasculation which accompanies child sexual abuse creates, is something which needed a sympathetic male ear! Sometimes, however, it requires the nurturing environment that comes with a female psychologist! I am not going into the field to “replace” a man, I’m doing it because girls need women who’ve been there, they desperately need to know that they are being, truly understood! I hope that there are just as many men In my clinical classes, as women! This idea that women need to “replace” men in the workforce is out dated, and out modded! There needs to be just as many male therapists as female! Because patients need to have that choice… for their own mental well-being!

[t-8900]

Since you are going into clinical psychology see if there is a link between men's refusal to work and direct competition with women. Not on a social but rather biological level. It might seem offensive but it's a pattern I notice. Less men have become ambitious because since they aren't providing they feel they are no longer of use or desirable to women and have gone to drugs and video games as an escape or just outright suicide. I think the make ego isn't just taught 💯 but like a lion he needs a certain kind of purpose or withers away. I think the major difference between men and women when looking for careers and jobs are that women look at them for stability and a resource and men look at them as a means to getting a mate. It's just something interesting I've noticed and why about 2/3 of the make population that are curr enrolled will shrink to about 1/3 over the next few generations of current trends continue. It's unfortunate that many no longer see a way to happiness or contentment. I've had to turn to religion myself to cope more. The Bible teaches all life is precious where as our current society I feel does not preach anything close to that.

[Lliam]

Very thought provoking video.

It seems like point was, individual agency isn't the same as female empowerment. Female empowerment means institutional change - removing restrictions on women's opportunities and behavior.

But it requires individual empowerment to bring about change. Somebody has to recognize injustice and decide to actively oppose it. History is replete with examples of women who inspired institutional change by defying social standards, breaking rules and even laws. Their fortitude and courage inspired others. That's how women gained the right to vote; the right to work, sign contracts, and own real estate; access to college; became business owners, scientists, inventors, politicians, corporate executives, and Supreme Court Justices; and autonomy over their own bodies.

All social change happens in the same way. People have to insist on rights. And that always begins with a few individuals.

My first introduction to female empowerment was in high school. Shortly after I entered 10th grade in 1970, some of the girls decided that the dress codes were discriminatory and they decided to defy them. At first, some girls got sent home or were punished in other ways, but other girls joined in. Eventually, the school changed the dress codes.

The "pill" was available by then. Girls took that opportunity to defy social norms and seize autonomy over their bodies. They were the first generation of women who could do so.

From Half a century of the oral contraceptive pill
Historical review and view to the future
Pamela Verma Liao, MD
"Meanwhile, the sexual revolution of the 1960s had been launched and women supposedly became as “sexually free” as men. The pill prompted fear of “sexual anarchy,” and fear that it would encourage female promiscuity. The reality, however, was that women could finally exercise control over their own bodies, plan their families, and start professional careers.

"In the 1970s, the women’s movement was in full effect. Empowered women began to take charge of their own health, influenced by publications such as the Birth Control Handbook, a how-to guide from the students at McGill University in Montreal, Que. Published in 1968, it grew to international fame for the audacity showed by including self-determination on issues of contraception as well as feminist interpretations of the laws of the time. Another book, Our Bodies, Ourselves, grew from the grass-roots Boston Women’s Health Book Collective and became the bible of the feminist women’s health movement. Informed women demanded family planning, and protests by activist women helped to drop initial pill estrogen doses and to develop requirements for pill package labeling."

So I wonder if the definition of women's empowerment only applies when it effects all women, or if it first requires individual empowerment? After all, individuals can empower themselves regardless of rules and laws, and some people are not empowered even when they have permission to do so.

In the end the definition of women's empowerment may be a matter of semantics. I personally believe that a woman fits the definition of women's empowerment by 1) being a woman and 2) taking power over her own life.

[Lliam]

Thanks for the MHO, t-8900.

[DonkeyDan]

I'd agree with pretty much most of what she says, but I'm no expert on the subject.

[loves2learn]

She makes a lot of sense! Ir is a complicated subject. Bravo to her for trying to unpack it.

[Andres77]

Educated, sure.
Fool?
Without a doubt.