Honest thoughts of Sex BEFORE Marriage?

Do you think its acceptable to have sexual relations prior to marriage or any sort of major committed relationship?
Or is it more healthy to wait?

Just curious on peoples thoughts on the issue
Updates:
+1 y
I want to highlight that this question isn't about religion Mainly want to put significance on the "Healthy" aspect of sex Is it HEALTHY (physically/emotionally) to have sex outside of marriage.. or any sort of "committed" major relationship (like for example a long dating relationship) Or is it perfectly acceptable to have random sex, or sexual relations with someone in a relatively new relationship
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Most Helpful Girls

  • Sex before marriage or not is a million-dollar question on everyone's mind, - to give it time, or just go for it? Love, respect, comfort, passion and mutual consent in sex are imperative for a satisfying marital relationship. I strongly believe that sexual intimacy should ideally happen when both partners feel ready – psychologically, mentally, emotionally and physically with due respect for traditions. If one feels forced or feels deprived sexually, that sets the stage for difficulties in the relationship.

    Those who 'give it time' may choose not to engage pre-martially beyond just kissing and some small games. They meet often, and build a slow and steady emotional intimacy, as they are looking for love before sex despite being in the arranged setup. Such couples want to 'make love' and not 'have sex'. Couples who are keen on exploring each other, and focus a lot on the 'emotional bonding' do not have sex even on the wedding night, mainly because of Big Fat Indian Wedding is quite physically and emotionally exhausting for both. They usually prefer to just cuddle and sleep together.

    Those who had not had a long courtship period prefer to use the honeymoon to get to know each other, and allow a natural progression from emotional intimacy to physical intimacy with time. They prefer to be a devoted married couple, keen to feel the love and romance blossom slowly and do not force themselves to rush for sex. During or after the honeymoon, they start becoming playful and naughty and sex happen on any moment when both just feel so much in sync that it naturally culminates in 'making love'.

    Those who 'go for it' do not wait for any emotional intimacy have sex' than 'make love'. They even mutually decide to pre-martially sex, and look for every opportunity to jump into bed. The wedding is merely a legal permission and blessings from the family to do what they are anyway doing. Such rushed sexual encounters can also be forced by one without assessing the comfort and readiness of the other. It can scar the relationship for the future.

    More often in love marriages, if there is a prolonged dating period, sex happens frequently. Pre-marital sex is exciting during numerous secret meetings is often the cause of guilt and anxiety, as there might be doubts about whether the relationship will finish in marriage or not. Many love marriages have rocky start because the drunken grooms 'spoiled the wedding night'. Their fantasy wedding includes a fantasy wedding night, and the rude shock of reality not matching fantasy creates havoc in marriages. Illness on the honeymoon leading to less or no sex, varying sexual appetites, and comparisons between the pre-marital and post-marital sexual encounters in frequency and quality, all have taken a toll on love marriages because of the high expectations from 'lover'.

    The fact is - physical intimacy must be a mutual choice, based on various factors like family background, tradition and values, along with initial eagerness, shyness, hesitation or fear surrounding sex. Therefore, when, where, how and what kick-starts physical intimacy varies from couple to couple, but more important is whether the choice is mutual, and whether it is equally fulfilling for both.

  • ofcourse it is acceptable
    sex has nothing to do with being married or not or even with status of ur relationships tbh
    i believe sex should be kept apart from relations n statuses... if 2 persons like it then they should be able to do it except underage girls/boys ofcourse
    one can always love someone n have sex with other people at the same time

    • You can't support casual sex without also yalking about the potential dangers and the toxicity and spiritual damage that can come from casual sex culture

    • @TheBlackQueen2 not really i dont really believe it brings any toxic culture

Most Helpful Guys

  • Perhaps it might depend on how people perceive sexuality. I see it as a form of communication and part of getting to know someone in ways that can be as informative or more than any verbal exchange or another form of activity done together. So I find it kind of an odd thing to omit and about as odd as refraining from talking to each other before marriage, or seeing each other in person before marriage, or engaging in mutual hobbies together before marriage, or anything of this sort.

    I've seen in the papers that couples who abstain from sex before marriage tend to have more stable marriages, but that's very centric to Western cultures in ways I suspect have more going on in terms of shared values rather than abstaining from sex promoting such stability. A lot of atheistic Asian cultures have extremely stable marriages, for example, without the values of abstaining from sex before marriage.

    • My opinion is that shared values, like shared family values, drive more stable and healthy marriages. And in lots of Western cultures, such family values tend to be strongest in the religious types so it makes sense to me that we'll see a correlation of more stable and healthy marriages in the religious types. But again there are Asian cultures that don't share the value of abstaining from sex before marriage whose stability and health seem to rival the religious types. What they both appear to have in common are values related to marriage and family and I think that's the driving factor towards longevity in commitments rather than sexuality.

    • I think in Western cultures, like the US, we can't pinpoint the values of atheists. Some might be extremely hedonistic or nihilistic in ways detrimental to healthy relationships, some might be very conscientious good people who believe strongly in marriage and commitment and family, some might be trying to figure things out without the backbone of a fundamental set of religious values trying to form their own. But if we look at an atheistic culture like Japan, there are a strong set of largely-homogeneous secular values and social norms among the atheistic or pseudo-atheistic population which I suspect can be just as effective in promoting healthier and stable marriages among people of like-minded values in contexts that matter for marriage.

  • It's better to not have sex, but to make love. There is a big difference. Hot sex can be fun, however making love para-bonds 2 souls together. Two souls can become one in a beautiful night of making love and plowing your seed deep into her soul to grow into something beautiful. You don't need a wedding for that. Just make sure that the two of you truly love each other.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • It’s not acceptable for me or my future boyfriend but I don’t judge strangers for their behaviour - what they do is between them and God.

  • I’m not marrying anyone I haven’t had sex with before. I need to know we are sexually compatible because sexual and emotional compatibility are two very different things

  • I think its smarter to wait. You can stay healthy through abstinence or masturbation

  • Save the religious aspect, there's literally no issue with doing it, or not doing it.
    I prefer the "try before you buy" method, and I don't actually think I'd ever get married.

  • Your question presupposes what you term 'sex' is focused upon unprotected vaginal/penile copulation. SEX comprises FAR more possibilities than JUST the impregnation of spermatozoa to Ovum~ despite the assertions of sociological theological zealots.

    'Recreational' sex play focuses upon both individual's ecstatic sensory immediacy overload and the resulting intoxicating neurological bonding 'cocktail' flooding the Participant's physiology ; NOT the incidental consequential fertilization of the female's Ova. These zealots deride these felt bonding emotions as only of value in encouraging 'parent'-ing.

  • People don’t get married as early in life as they used to.
    i have no problems with sex before marriage. In fact it’s a good thing.
    how would you know if you are compatible or not sexually?

  • I think it is really important that as a couple you check out you have matching libidos and really enjoy sex together before you get into such a serious commitment.

  • I don't know about health...
    But there is definitely science to it but it depends to your goal. Ever heard the term "pump then dump?"well this really explains a lot.
    Further, females tend to bond after sex due to hormones released, and so they have higher CHANCES of making a poor decision, as if on drugs, and stay in an abusive or toxic relationship, if they attach strongly before they get to know him..
    Then there is pregnancy. Males also face consequences in the last two cases.. women can also be abusive.

    2) religiously, of course.
    3) yeah, for these 2 reasons, I think it is wise not to do sex before marriage... it is natural to do it... and just as natural not to.

  • Its fun its intimate it feels good so why not as long as you stay safe with it

  • I think it is a good idea to see how sex works before marriage to see if you are compatible. It worked for me!

  • I sure as hell would want to know what I’m getting into before I submit to a guy for life. At the very least we can learn from each other on what gets us off and the like so our wedding night and honeymoon won’t be a sad state of affair.

  • Waiting until marriage is a good idea if a girl don't want to be fucked and dumped.

  • Well, would you buy a new car without test driving it first?

    • Experience must before the driving

    • @Preeti161101 👍🙂

    • Agree 😊💯%

  • Why wouldn’t it be acceptable? Sex is healthy. Enjoying sex is not a bad thing. Imagine marrying someone who is the complete opposite of you in the bedroom? Imagine how miserable that would be for both involved and you’re stuck together. Yeah, sex isn’t a bad thing and should never be taboo.

  • Crucial, I couldn't marry someone not knowing if we are sexually compatible or not.

  • I don't understand how anyone could thinks it's unhealthy

  • Whatever people want to do, I am planning on waiting until marriage. That doesn't mean I'll actually make it that long, if I am still single in 5 years I may consider not waiting until marriage but I got time to decide. That 5 years is not set in stone either, in 5 years I could say another 5 years.

    • good for you hun

    • Cool

  • Of course it's acceptable. Almost everyone does. The problem with waiting is that sexual compatibility isn't automatic. People differ in their desire for sex, and in their sexual interests. A couple that marries with no experience of each other may find themselves frustrated, one with unmet desires, and the other feeling pressured to have sex more frequently or to do things that don't appeal to them.

  • It's acceptable to have sex in a relationship. You don't have to be married. Not everyone gets married so waiting until marriage or restricting it doesn't make sense for some people.

  • Well the only reason people wait is most likely because they’re a follower of Christ or I don't know but for me I’m a follower of Christ and the reason we wait is because we believe that god made those parts for our husband or wife, so we only want to use those for our husband/wife because it’ll be better and when we do it we know that it’s through love and god which makes it a lot better than just doing it without him. And it’s a sin to do it when you’re not married. If you’re not a follower of Christ I feel like it could get you guys to connect and become closer together as a couple if you view it as something very special. So it could go both ways.

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