How are (some) men able to separate sex with their emotions? ! ?

How are (some) men able to separate sex with their emotions? ! ?
From experience I have been with men that only wanted sex and nothing more and that hurt! I have also been with men that wanted a relationship!

I'm 35 by the way and this has been my experience when younger!

How are some women able to land a guy so young and have them fall in love with them and committ to them and even have a baby with them! Have a family? ! Really curious here!
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  • I'll ignore the headline since you ask a different question in the text.

    "How are some women able to land a guy so young and have them fall in love with them and committ to them and even have a baby with them! Have a family? ! Really curious here! " =>

    It multiple tinges in combination, one is pure chance, another is exposure to the right type of men.

    If you hang around the wrong type or seek the superficial type then this is what you will get. Religious and more sensitive guys tens to want relationships from a early age and let's say bad boys or those with no or little morals.

    Let's face it, moral values matters and so those the culture of the guy.

    Then comes personalities (meaning both his and yours in combination), you will have to match somehow just like physical attraction matters so does the personalities.

    So you need to look at the right places to find the right type of man, then make the compromises needed be to get what you want.

    • Thank you.

  • Some people have never experienced true love and have always been popular with the ladies so there's always a menu

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • I mean, it isn't really that hard. When you are horny, your feelings and emotions just aren't really there. All you want is to fuck. I'm a woman and I am able to have sex with guys without feeling anything. Especially if they are extremely hot or I'm craving sex cause haven't had it in a long time.

    • Jesus Christ lady

    • Wow. That's sad.

    • Lmfao just being honest 🤷🏽 trying to say that women can be just like men.

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  • Men and women both like sex but they also want it and do it for vastly different reasons, sex means different things to men and women, ideally (imo) sex is a good way to make sure he keeps coming back but you can't make it always easy for him to get it, need to make him actually put the effort into the relationship and be there for you at least resembling emotionally. I say resembling because men have a much harder time when it comes to emotional things and appearing the way we feel is difficult

  • Depends on the guy and what the guy wants. Sex is for most guys a basic need and they take it when they get it.
    If you are looking to connect with a guy emotional you would need to match what he wants from a mate, match there life goals and expectations.
    A lot of guys looking for a friend someone they can trust blindly. Someone to rely on. But they also will provide the same for there mate.
    So looking for someone who is your friend in the first place will prove most successful in finding a partner that is willing to commit to you.

  • It's real simple. Guys will have sex with many women but only fall in love with a few. Men aren't separating sex and their emotions... they just don't have any emotions for that particular woman.

    • Why?

    • My grandfather in the back woods of Tennessee once told me... You can't help who you love... you just do! And you can't love everyone!

    • Actually I think attraction is both society/culture driven and biological! .. It's what you've been exposed to, and if you're ready for a relationship (marriage or whatever), and you find that particular woman friend "hot" then you're more likely to start something serious with them! I don't think it's sub-conscious at all! Why do you think a lot of girls go for the hottest, most popular guys at school? Because they represent status (popularity) and well... teenage hormones lol!

  • Every partner has the same start position with exception of the first girl (she got unconditional love), it's just sex and with infatuation. Few women level up others don't do that and infatuation isn't eternal.

  • Some people can choose to separate it whenever they want. It's hard to explain how to do it, you just have to have a certain view on sex I guess. I see it as something fun two people can do together, and doesn't necessarily have to involve a bunch of feelings (though it can if I want it to)

    So like whenever I have casual sex, or like I'm in a friends with benefits relationship, then the sex is usually just that, sex. Nothing more than fun.

    But when I'm in a committed relationship, there's an added layer of intimacy and emotion there.

    • Okay, I guess I can kind of “see” it (what you mean)…however, I think people who can do this are rather cruel! They treat sex so insignificantly… I read this one message board thing that said that sex makes you vulnerable and it is the most intimate thing you can do with someone! You don’t do it to everyone and anyone (usually) do you? ! You as in they (people in general I mean)! …I gave T something I don’t usually give just anyone. I even got a bit paranoid and took some pregnancy tests (not that I probably should have been worried because we did it with a condom but still)! And in the end, he STILL treated me like I was a stranger! Like I wasn’t wife material or even girlfriend material and that’s what hurts!.. Add to the fact that most people I feel don’t even like me, they just tolerate me! I don’t have a lot of friends! At least offline I don't! Source: *https://www. askmehelpdesk. com/relationships/why-do-people-get-so-attached-someone-after-they-have-sex-146798. html Scroll down to fjsmith81’s answer! *My life.

    • To be fair though, I don't think all people who have the capability to separate the two are necessarily dickheads like the person you described. That's less to do with this, and more to do with the person just being selfish in general. I for example, wouldn't be having casual sex like I described with someone unless I knew they were on the same page with me, and we both knew this was just for fun.

    • Thanks. I hope to find a better guy :( because I know what I deserve!

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  • The guy has to want more then just sex to begin with to a certain extent

    • Oh I see! Thank you :-)!

  • From my own perspective, it is because men do not associate sex with their emotions. So guys can have one without the other, but we often crave sex from somewhere (some exceptions base don sexuality). Because of this, a guy who wants a relationship will still want sex, but often times wanting sex doesn't come with any emotional attachment.
    Going on to your second piece, guys who want to settle down and be totally committed at a young age tend to have a stronger emotional instinct than sexual. While I do believe there are minor exceptions to the rule, I believe this is the most likely case. Men who do not seek emotional security and attachment tend to be more sex driven in general.
    This is based of my own comprehension and understanding of my mind and hormones. I'm a mixed bag, so depending on attraction and context, I can either want a solely physical relationship, or a emotionally stable relationship.

    • Thank you wow!

  • as a girl, I really think guys DO show emotions. They just don't talk about feelings easily.

  • How are sex and love inextricable to one another?

    Men are not demisexuals, a girl just has to be hot for us to want to have sex with her. I really don't see why you think that we need to have an emotional attachment to someone before we can experience any sexual attraction. Love an lust are two completely different things.

    • Demisexual... I had to look up that term but okay thanks? It does help me understand better :)

    • You're welcome

    • How do I touch the love part? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YZL_r3uUdD4

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  • Humm, ever think your attracting the wrong sort of men? After all your the common denominator between all your experiences. Not to mention anyone can fall prey to cherry picking and confirmation bias.

  • Its impossible for me
    I also don't feel comfortable using someone for sex only. It feels wrong. That's someone's daughter or sister

  • How we're raised has a lot to do with this as well as the consequences our decisions have rendered. I can't separate affection and emotion from intercourse so I usually fall for sluts that know how to manipulate people to get what they want.

  • Nah man. Sadly we want it all the time and women just dont care or feel the same way.

  • it is really damn hard to find someone you connect with to a level where you want more than sex. but we want sex so that's why we often decide to go for just the sex, cause something more than that is so far out of reach. i mean make fun of guys only wanting sex all you want but really is it all that good to want love so quickly? love and commitment don't happen on first sight. sex does. expecting love so early won't work. yeah some get lucky with that i know.

    • Sorry this is a late reply but I really don't think it's hard to find love! Why should it/ would it be? ! Unless your expectations are sky high, I think there are a few good people that can be compatible with you! :)

    • You will only meet like 5 people in your entire life that would be a good match for a live log relationship. It's not easy at all. I don't know how you can say that xD

    • 1. How do you know this? 5 people? ... Care to explain this? ! 2. Are you talking about physical attraction? Because I've met a lot of people that are nice on the inside as well as pretty on the outside.

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  • Once a friend explained to me it all comes to a hormone called oxytocin which both men and women produce after sex. In a woman, the hormone produce attachment.

    • I think it's the same for a guy but maybe a bit less but I personally believe it's less about the chemicals but like in my particular case, more about his external circumstances (AND his personal thought processes) that make him unable to form a lasting bond with me! ... Namely, I'm not his dream girl! :(

    • We always think the problem is caused by us but most of the times it's him!

  • You got problems If u can't choose the right person

    • It's not always my fault you know! It's a CHOICE to choose and love someone! But it also has to be mutual!

  • Easy. Those girls have 'men' and not 'boys'

  • If their sexual energy/tension is low then it's easier for men to do separate emotions from sex.

    This can be either through self control (the good), their needs being visually sated (the usual) or physically sated (the bad).

    Something you have to understand about guys us that biologically we are wired to reproduce first, father later.

    It's hard to form emotional connections when your urges ar clouding your vision.

    Self control is learnt but no one teaches it so it's not easy to learn for some guys.

    Recently, pick up style dating has been encouraging the bad and laws have been discouraging the usual.

    So that leaves guys at a brick wall. Repress their sexual tension or pick up culture which is equally as bad.

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