How big is sex to you? When should it be done?

How big is sex to you? When should it be done?
Is it a sacred act to you? Or is it something that shouldn't be a big deal and just fun? Why do you think the way you do?
Sex should only be after marriage
Vote A
Sex should only be in a serious relationship
Vote B
Sex should only be with someone you're at least dating casually
Vote C
You should be able to have sex with anyone at anytime
Vote D
Select gender and age to cast your vote:
Girl Guy
1 2

Most Helpful Guys

  • Voted "You should be able to have sex with anyone, anytime." Sex being an instinctive behavior in human evolution. It is healthy and natural and the data are spanking clear that those men and women who have sex on a regular basis are generally happier and healthier.

    One big stipulation, however. Though our sexual instincts are natural and spontaneous, born of our need to reproduce, we live in a more evolved world. Leaving religious truths to one side, we know that marriage evolved as a social institution in part to protect women and children.

    When it comes to sex, men and women were NOT created equal. The male instinct is to impregnate as many females as possible. The female, by contrast, can typically carry only one child at a time and that requires an enormous expenditure of time and energy.

    Therefore, the female is looking for the alpha male. That one male with healthy sperm who can produce healthy offspring and protect them from dangerous predators and sexual rivals.

    So typically - not always but generally - men will be sexually more aggressive and marriage evolved to regulate that aspect of human behavior. To set rules that protect mother and child. Indeed, it is no coincidence that as marriage has lost its force in the culture, the rate of out of wedlock births - and child abandonment and abortion and such has soared.

    The basic dynamic remains. The male wants to reproduce. The female wants to mate, but must be more careful and selective. Where that breaks down, much misery - especially for mother and child - follows.

    So while sex is perfectly fine, there must be a commitment on the man's part to care for any children he may produce. Here some truth in advertising.

    To my knowledge, I have gotten four women pregnant. The first had a miscarriage and we ended up breaking up. The only one that I truly and deeply regret and that hurts me to this day - indeed causes me more pain than anyone would imagine is the girl who aborted my poor little baby without telling me. I would have been a single father and cared for that little person with all my heart - but she did not care.

    My girlfriend and I have lived together for over a decade and have three children together. We have chosen not to be married because we love what we share and think it is natural and beautiful and we found the idea of a big ceremony and a permission slip from the state to denigrate that. It is, admittedly, a somewhat eccentric view, but we love each other and our children and we ae a happy family.

    However, I recently discovered that I am the father to a 14 year old boy. The mother, a woman with whom I had casual sex a few times, had originally opted not to tell me and raised my son on her own. She tracked me down and informed me, but only on the stipulation that I not reveal to our son that I am his father.

    Her argument is that, as my son is entering his high school and college years, he needs life to be what those years should be and not have it turned into a soap opera. Candidly, this is tearing me apart as I love my son and want to be part of his life, but I must also admit that she has a point.

    CONT.

    • So you have to balance instinct against obligation. As the old axiom puts it, "Don't do the crime if you can't do the time." I have no regrets. I deeply love my children and it is agony to think of the little baby that woman took from me - and as I sort out what is best for my 14 year old son, I love him and will do what is best - and ditto should it turn out that I have more children. So that is how I view it. Sex is healthy and natural - and honestly it makes me feel my manhood. (My girlfriend jokes that I am controlled by my penis.) That is true, I think, of all humans. However, it does not come without obligations.

    • why are you anonymous?

    • @Iamanintrovert Not sure I understand the question. I am anonymous because I want to be anonymous. True, I could use my standard nom de guerre, but given the sensitivity of the subject, particularly as it relates to the privacy of my relationship to my s/o, I just prefer that extra added layer of anonymity. Frankly, I do that more out of habit really than that I consciously thought of it before the fact. Anyhow, I hope that answers your question.

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  • For me sex is something two people decide to share, that can be in a relationship or can be a one off event.

    at times it’s an itch that needs scratched (male and female).

    this is referring to intercourse / aka Fucking.

    stuff like Blow Jobs etc, is just stuff that happens often on spur of moment on a night out etc.

Most Helpful Girls

  • Sex should be about you first and you last. Meaning if certain sexual interactions do not benefit you, then don’t do it. If it does, go right on ahead. Sex is expression, it’s a tool, it’s an energy force. How you choose to navigate sex in your life should be done in a way that helps you more than hurt you. And what works for some will not work for all.

  • Sex is important to me in that I won't just hop on the first random dick that comes my way. I'm not into hookups and all that. Sex is too personal and intimate to me to not take my time to get to know someone before hopping into bed with them.

    • If random dick you like than also no?

    • @shatteredmasterpeace.. i would not be able to say it better. That's exactly my take on this question.

    • Hear hear @shatteredmasterpeace! I'm the same way. We have respect for ourselves.

    • Show All

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What Girls & Guys Said

5 38
  • It's fun! And if you are safe about it I don't see any problem doing it anytime with anyone

  • When two people are two energies touches one of the most beautiful feelings you ever feel in your life especially if the guy is making it all about you there's a deepness is a very soft touch it was a deepness of a slow soft kiss from your lips to your neck it is powerful and it is beautiful

    • That was oddly poetic

    • Yes kinda and so real two energy's touching and be coming one is to it's as if your in another world

  • ***BEGIN SOAPBOX RANT***

    I wouldn't exactly call sex a "sacred act", nor would I advise waiting till marriage. However, I would advise that if you ever do intend to have casual sex without "protection", you should consider the possible consequences (ie bringing a baby into the world before you're ready to take care of it.) There are entirely too many homeless children in the world as it is.

    There, I'll get off my soapbox now. Your choices are entirely your own. :)

    • I don't know what a soapbox is but thanks for the opinion though I would've prefer hearing about your thoughts with your own personal experiences unless you can get pregnant? 😂

    • Lady, if I could get pregnant, I certainly wouldn't be here, I'd probably be living in a mansion in California or something! :D I misunderstood your question. I thought you were seeking advice. I do apologize. As for my own personal experiences, I did choose to wait until I met the person I was in love with. For me, it kinda ruins the experience, and I'm just not as willing to put forth the effort if you know what I'm saying.


  • Sex should only be in a serious relationship

  • To me, it's a time of bonding strongly to a person. My parents have warned me and I believe them that, it makes you connect with that person on an intimate and deeper level. Once you give that to a person, it's much harder to leave them after that. I think for me, I'm only going to do it after marriage or at a time of deep relationship. I might compromise making out but save the sex for when we are really serious about each other. Something like that 🤔

  • Thanks to contraception and condoms, we can enjoy sex without contracting STDs or having unwanted pregnancy. So it's up to the people involved. I'm not religious, so I don't worry about ancient sexual taboos.

  • Looks like the 'D's" have it, and mostly by the guys, as you might expect. I had casual sex in college, and after college, that being why I voted the way I did, but find that sex is better with someone that you at least know casually or seriously. The sex is more intimate that way

  • Sex is a dichotomy for me. On one hand, I absolutely enjoy it and love having it. On the other, it’s how I connect with my goddess, so it’s ecstasy for me.

  • while I totally admire the wait for sex until marriage or wait for sex until you've been dating a while it just hasn't worked out for me personally. if you are really really into sex, I think you need to have it as soon as you possibly can, because if you and your partner are not sexually compatible it will be the end of your relationship. So I guess it differs for each person but that's my answer.

  • It is kind of a big deal. Using it as just something to do with the first person you meet on Saturday night cheapens the experience.

  • one can have it whenever they want n whoever they want it with it doesn't need to be associated with relationships tbh

  • Everytime we wanna get fucked

  • At your age everything is scary. Give yourself some time to actually grow fully into adulthood.

    • Urrrr huhh?

    • You're just not ready for all this. You're not ready for marriage, or sex. You just want to TALK about it.

    • Ok lets sort some things out bud. Just because I'm posting a question doesn't mean the question pertains to me lol. Secondly, I don't like being discredited or taken as a joke solely because of my age, its really annoying... Or maybe you are just trolling me for kicks 😂

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  • I think waiting to find out if you're compatible with the person you plan on spending the rest of your life with is crazy. I think it should be mandatory that coupleswho want to get married live together for at least 6 months tosee if they are sexually compatible and to see f either of you have any idiosyncrasies that are going to bug the hellout of you. If marraige is at all sacred than approaching it with absolutely no knowledge of whether you can even stand being in close quarters with the guy is crazy

  • You should be able to have sex with anyone at any time. 💞

  • when u meet the right person

  • I view sex as a very, very, very serious thing. It is the joining of two bodies and two souls. It is the sacred communion between two celestial beings. It is the ultimate expression of love and unity. And I'm not talking about friendship love. I'm talking about LOVE. True romance.

    In my opinion, sex should only be done within marriage. Because marriage is the formal structure of a love relationship.
    Obviously, people can still be in love without being married. But I just don't see them as serious unless they're willing to go all the way and tie the knot. Otherwise they're just pretending or trying on the relationship just for fun. I don't trust a relationship unless the people are brave enough and committed enough to say "I do."

  • I said C even though I do have one night stands but I feel if you should have sex if you been dating a month or two. Sex might make the relationship more complicated but I disagree I think it mskes the relationship stronger.

  • it can be either at different times

  • I'm a born again Christian so I believe it should be after marriage. Why? Sex can get complicated. I love sex dont get me wrong. A long time before my rebirth I thought sex should be like porn. I was wrong. Most girls dont like that roughness. Also when you've had sex and depending on your experiences you kinda expect a new partner to do the same thing or things your past partners did. If you hold off there's nothing to expect and you learn different things together. There were simple things my past girlfriends did that my wife would never do. Like deep throat and/or swallow. Or be confident on top. Or wake me up with a blowjob and have sex. Ya I miss those things but I love my wife to forget them from happening.

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