How can I get over feeling guilty of breaking up with a guy who unknowingly gave me an STI?

[Anonymous]

We had sex pretty soon and I totally accept my hand in it. I should've made him wear a condom but I didn't. Let me start by saying i deal with anxiety and panic disorder so i do not handle stressful situations like a "normal person". During the time of finding out my diagnosis I was terrified, scared, and crying to my family thinking i had HIV. I've never been through anything like that in my life so I told him that we needed to break up. I regret it now because he had no idea of having anything. He got very depressed and su! c! dal after we split and it took him a while to get back to his normal self. I tried reaching back out and apologizing but he ignored my apology. How tf do I get over this? I can't stop feeling like a monster because I got overly emotional.

[Anonymous]

I'm going to ask this. Did you ever have the STD antibodies blood test prior to having sex? If you didn't than you have absolutely no way of knowing if you yourself didn't already have the STD. Do you know how many people in this world have hsv 2 that they caught from their mothers when they gave birth to them but those people don't know because the symptoms always lied dormant in their bodies never showing symptoms until many many years later. So unless you had the blood test prior to losing your virginity you have absolutely no way of knowing if you were STD free or not or if this guy is the actual one who gave you the STD

It baffles me how many women blame the guy because they assume it was him who gave it to them when it could very likely have been them that had the STD all along because they never had gje blood test to check for STD antibodies

Now if by chance this guy did give you the STD. You can't put the entire blame on him because you yourself allowed him to go raw the blame is 50/50 here and anyone

[Asker]

The sti was trichomoniasis and I know that I didn't have anything before him because I always got checkups. After the sex a week later I started having TONS OF discharge, stomach and vaginal pain. It was terrible. He said he never had symptoms but after I told him my symptoms he went and got tested and they told him that he had trich also

[Beeworld]

damn, don't feel bad about it. he didn't take care of himself enough and gave you an STD, he needs to apologize.

[Anonymous]

Why the f*** would you feel bad? I wouldn't! Even if he wanted to get back together with you. Not knowing IS NOT and excuse. Yeah it's your bad for not insisting he wear a condom. But that doesn't alleviate himself of HIS RESPONSIBILITY to you if you're engaging in sex. He should know his current sexual health before having sex with you. And if unsure communicate that.

It baffles me that you think you should feel bad in ANY WAY other than you did something REALLY STUPID and almost paid the price for it. Hopefully you've learned from this though.

[Alex-Snow]

You did nothing wrong except not using a condom until you both were tested and you were on birth control

[Nikki1989]

You have nothing to feel bad about.

[Asker]

Even when he had no symptoms and no knowledge of it entering into our new relationship. I can't shake this feeling.

[RoseySaraah]

No he had to know really there are never no symptoms! He knowingly gave you it! Course your feeling but don't keep guilt for breaking up with a jerk who gave you a sexual desease! You deserve better

[NotInterestedSorry]

@RoseySaraah might want to do some research some people are actually (asymptomatic) meaning there are many people out there who have an STD including women who don't know because they have no symptoms. You can find this information from your doctor and on health websites. People really need better education on STD's because i am learning from this site alone how many people are clueless including how swab test are also useless because you can have an STD but unless you have active symptoms that swab test will come back negative

[Staximus]

He didn't wear a condom with you or the last woman before you, and he won't be wearing a condom if he fools around behind your back. Let him fuck off into the sunset 🌅.

[MasterKS]

he given you that shit!