How can I have sex with my guy friend?

Question

What if I mess up?

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

Listen to this VERY CAREFULLY:

It's clear that you have feelings for this guy. I have no idea if he has feelings for you, and if those feelings are only sexual, or if they are also romantic (many guys will have sexual feelings, but NOT romantic ones, for a particular person).

But know this: if he does not have romantic feelings for you, you can have all the sex you want with him, for years and years, and this won't change. Sex does not CREATE feelings for a woman in most men, it only amplifies the feelings that are already there - IF ANY. If there is no romantic feelings in him for you, then nothing you do will ever change that, and you'll have to learn to accept that.

I tell you this because MOST women bond very strongly to the men they have sex with, at least with their first few partners, and often especially their first. And if this happens to you - if your already-strong feelings greatly intensify - but he doesn't have those same feelings - then you are going to feel very emotionally hurt, and it will be your own fault.

This is why women are advised to only have sex within relationships. Being in a relationship means that the guy has romantic feelings for you (unless you picked your partner very poorly), and is likely to maintain those feelings and keep the relationship going after having sex with you. If a guy doesn't have romantic feelings for you, he can have sex with you, once or for a while, and then just move on. He has no emotional ties.

Most women have to learn this lesson the hard way - usually more than once - and some women never seem to learn the lesson. Hopefully you'll learn from the mistakes of others before you, but if you ignore this advice and do it anyway, and it goes bad, remember not to blame the guy, because it was YOUR choice, and you've been given the information you need to make better choices, so if you elect to make a bad choice, the outcome of that choice is on you.

Sevenpointfive · Accepted Answer

put your penis in him

dustybiker · Accepted Answer

Don’t be surprised if he doesn’t want to. If you have already established boundaries, he might want to keep respecting them in order to keep you as a friend. Not everyone wants to risk the loss of a good friend like that.

katiesmuff · Accepted Answer

I'm sure you will have it figured out within a few moments of getting started.

DeeDeeDeVour · Answer

Just sex?  Are you also in love with him or strongly attracted to him?

all_hayl · Answer

No way you’re 32 years old.

abc3643 · Answer

Do you have a vagina?
If so, you won't mess up.

However, can you elaborate on your friendship? I am thinking what you really want to know is how to broach the subject about taking things to the next level - even if it is just to get your sexual needs met.
Am I correct?

I empathize. I feel that I have been in similar situations.

EmmaMary · Answer

Did you not have some form of sex education during your school years?

Summeroflove · Answer

Have you never been to sex Ed? Best bet. Don’t do it. Unless you want to marry him. Don’t.  But you can’t speak and sense into degenerates can you.

bowenw · Answer

Talk about it with him. You won't mess up.

DarkWinterNights · Answer

Mess up sex or mess up your friendship? Sex is instinctual, so it’s hard to mess that up very badly. Having sex with your guy friend will mess up your friendship and starting with sex has the potential of messing up a potential long term relationship as well.

So you need to decide whether you want to be friends. Have sex. Or be in a relationship. You can only have one.

Aelleden · Answer

Don't don't don't don't ever do that if you're happy with him as a friend, it will ruin your friendship
I lost my best friend years and years back, we started dating cause we wanted to see how it would go, spoiler it didn't work cause obviously we didn't have romantic feelings and we ruined our friendship.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

You need to tell him your true feelings for him and that you love him deep down.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

I don't understand, what do you mean by "mess up"? Are you confused which things go into what holes? Because there are websites for that kind of info.

Massageman · Answer

I'm sure you know "HOW".

The bigger question is "WHY". Why would you want to ruin a friendship by letting the "S word" sneak into it?

Accept him as a platonic friend. Seek the erotic friend (s) elsewhere.

AsaKyo · Answer

You don't lmao

JPresidente · Answer

Have a pillow fight, jump in his lap and kiss him. Then watch things grow beneath you and he'll know what to do next.

MikeInHawaii · Answer

It ain’t rocket science. Two month old mice seem to figure it out!

smilelots · Answer

you can only be you and do the best you got in you so give it a try and see what happens if you dont you will never know right..

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Whoah. Don't do that, Kate!

Wise4myage · Answer

Mess what up? Do you think he feels the same, and has he ever dropped any hints?

clampfan101 · Answer

Are you wanting an actual relationship, or just a friends with benefits? (I don’t think FWBs is a good idea.)

Caliguy88 · Answer

I feel like messing up sex is pretty hard to do as a girl. All you really need to do is open for the guy to do his thing.

DrewJohnson · Answer

Take it one step at a time. If you mess up. A true friend will understand and you'll still be friends. I hope it works out for you!

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