How can I indicate that I want it rougher without being direct?

Probably a stupid question but I'm new to all this, so please forgive me. I've been seeing this guy and although we haven't had sex yet, we've been doing other things and I'm sure I'll give it up soon. He's a lot more experienced than me, as this is my first time ever being involved with somebody. That being said, I think he's taking it a bit easier on me than he normally would. I've noticed sometimes that he does make a move like he's going to do something but then usually hesitates and doesn't.

Don't get me wrong, I definitely appreciate him considering my inexperience but I've come to realize that I'm actually into it when he does get a bit "rougher" - I'm sure my definition is a bit different than others' with actual experience here. Maybe rough isn't exactly the right word... ig more dominant?

The only issue is that I get pretty shy when it comes to communicating my wants. Obviously I'm not expecting him to be a mind-reader or anything, I'm looking for more of a roundabout way of approaching this. Any help would be greatly appreciated ^^
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Don't treat women like in porn movies!!! It's bloody acting so grow the fuck up. Use force or presure, and with care. Ask your dumb ass, why they do long strokes in a penis in vagina shot? So all you visualy sexualy stimulated men can see it!!! If a girl wants it harder she should mention it or ask, but this dosent mean you grab her ears and try knock her teeth out with your cock! It dosent mean grab her hair break her neck and fuck her box like you got a Tesla in your shaft.. 99% of the time it means your doing a shit job, it's not a memorable moment for her and your a selfish prick. Give her a limp and a speech impediment not a fuckin wheelchair.

    I don't get girls! I go to a bar and I see them all drooling over pretty boys with big mouths and they go home with them, and lucky to one round and most of the time the girl is just a cum rag she gets nothing but the feeling of being needed for fifteen minutes.
    And girls don't give me the time of day! I'm not six foot I'm not a pretty boy I don't shoot my mouth with my chest out, but least when I do get a desperate stray, I'll make her legs shake for few hours with multiples at minimum!!! And she's not doing a walk of shame because she can't get the dam smile off her face..
    You girls know who puts the time in to knowing how to rock your world? The guys you ignore😘🖕

  • Just use positive reinforcement. When he does something more dominant, let your reactions tell him that he's doing it right. Moan a little louder. Nod. If he's grabbing on you, put your hand over his and squeeze. Gasp, and breathe more heavily. You get the idea.

    If he's not an idiot, he'll quickly put 2 and 2 together and realize that you're into that, and he'll give you more of it. It wouldn't hurt to drop some hints either. Let him see or "catch" you reading a BDSM-related book, or watching a BDSM-related movie or whatever, and if she asks, you can say "I like the part where..." and that will give him an idea of what kinds of things you are into.

Most Helpful Girl

  • if you don't want to tell him directly, next time he does do something more rough tell him you like it! or if you're feeling up to it ask him to do whatever it is you like. If you're shy about saying it out right, take baby steps until you're ready to have that conversation

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 14
  • I can never understand why people make things hard on themselves. Just tell him. That way you know that he knows, and you will know that he understands how you mean it rather than him trying to figure what exactly you are after.

  • Tell him that you love being naked and having sex and you "get really turned on when he does >>> or this>>>>" It is ok to talk about sex and what we like/don't like.

  • Are you shy just talking about it or would you be able to hint with introducing toys or outfits?

    • I think I’d be too nervous to try anything like that out either

    • Ok.. while having sex would you be open to stating something? Like saying harder or deeper?

    • Probably? I imagine it’s usually easier to say something like that in the midst of it

    • Show All
  • Instead of asking for it rougher, come at it from the opposite direction. Talk to him about having a safe word like strawberry and anytime you are having fun if you or him says strawberry you stop and know it’s crossed your boundaries. That will give him the freedom to be more dominant because he knows if he ever gets too wild or rough you have the power to stop him. Should also empower you to relax more and trust him because if you ever need it to stop it just takes a word. Give that a try, let him know you like it when he’s direct and confident and dominant and the more he takes control the more you stroke his ego.

  • Dig your nails in and scream

  • Be patient...
    WHEN you're doing doggy for the first time mention in a serious time "that ass ain't gonna spank itself" ...
    And get ready for the fun.
    Enjoy!

  • Slap him in the face and say "Is that all you've got" ?

  • Just tell him exactly what you want, he will like to hear this from you, Promise.

  • It's best to be direct. You g ou t the guy you don't really need to be coy. He obviously likes you.

  • Just tell him you’d like him to b a little rougher. Just being honest is the best policy.

  • Yup. Stupid question. Be direct

  • Communication is important in any relationship.
    He’s never going to know unless he hears it from you.

  • Personally I like it when she's different or just goes for it.

  • Stupid question

  • U will feel it... so u can start moving harder