I lost it at nearly 23, I’m 25 now and I feel embarrassed at times because my boyfriend lost it as a teenager and I sometimes don’t know what I’m doing still in certain positions or how to move and what not. What can I do?
The nice thing about sex as a woman is that it is essentially very easy to please a man and make him happy. So, we need to concentrate on you and your orgasm.
First, some background...
One of the problems with sex is when there is something of a mismatch in sexual chemistry. A big example is what I will call the orgasmic rhythm frequency.
When you think about it, the best part of sex is stimulating where all the nerves are concentrated. So, on a man, that's on the tip of his penis, the colored part called the glans. He gets off and has an orgasm by thrusting into you at a steady rate with your "parts" touching that tip. That frequency with which he is going in and out is his natural frequency for getting off.
For a woman, it is essentially the same thing except that the equivalent of a glans on a woman is the clitoris. Her orgasm has to come from his glans or shaft or whatever stimulating her clitoris at a certain natural frequency for her getting off.
Now, the problem is if these frequencies are different and that can happen - especially as one gets older and has more experience.
OK, so, now to the solution...
I find this best: Do "cowgirl" instead of missionary or doggy or anything else.
With cowgirl, he is on his back with you straddling him with his erection inside you.
THIS GIVES __YOU__ CONTROL OF YOUR FREQUENCY.
In this position, you can easily move your hips and body whatever way is best for you to stimulate your clitoris and have an orgasm. Don't worry about him. Even if he doesn't have an orgasm like that, after you have had yours, he can flip you over so you two are in missionary position and then he can thrust at the frequency HE needs to have his orgasm.
This way, you will both have orgasms. Perhaps not simultaneously, but you two will get your rocks off.
And there's an added benefit: As a man doing cowgirl, I loved to watch her face and her actions. I am pleasing her just by having a nice erection, but, more than that, it gives me a sense of satisfaction that I am doing my job and that she is getting off. To me, that became just as important as having an orgasm.
Try to recall how you dine with people of a different social etiquette.
Like with Chinese using chopsticks or with the Japanese or even with the English under all the cutlinery rules.
It could be awkward when we're not familiar with the "rules".
But in this modern society, most people understand cultural differences and won't enforce their values on us.
Many time, a good laugh puts everyone at ease.
Same with sex.
As long as your partner knows, he's likely to accommodate your lack of experience.
Hence learn to relax, laugh and be outright naughty (the adult way).
Let him lead. And you support him with little moans that show you're enjoying the moments.
And stop worrying because as a girl, you can be sure that he'll get an orgasm when he penetrates you.
Instead, follow his lead and try to get an orgasm yourself. He'll like it.
That's it. Learn about positions and techniques as you gain more experiences, which means you have to initiate sessions with him more often. He likes it.
To conclude, relax, stop worrying, laugh, and be enthusiastic. That's what you need to do, the next 3 months.
self exploration would be the start of it all
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What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!Well, the first thing is to ask him for feedback- yeah, it'll be kind of awkward to give, but setting up genuine communication is pretty much THE key to having truly great sex. When you're discussing your sexual plans, ask if there's anything in particular he'd like to try, or for you to do differently (eventually, as your skill and confidence grows, you'll develop some go-to "standard" moves, but that'll take practice)- or, for that matter, if he'd be willing to try something YOU want (this should be going both ways, after all).
Ordinarily, the internet is a good source of information, but that's not always the case here: porn gives people some bad ideas (although it's not just modern porn; some of the stuff in the Kama Sutra can't be done without dislocating certain body parts), so if you see something that interests you, ASK FIRST. Work through the shyness; you won't regret it.
Okay how open-minded are you I'll tell you what I can tell you things to do and you'll have to trust me I won't try to pick up on you I won't try to sex you up or whatever but I can tell you things to do that will just blow him away and you will absolutely love it too you're going to have to DM me though because I'm not just going to put it out here and you're just going to have to trust me
Practice and research sex and techniques.
Pompoir and Kabazzah might be a good start.
Feel free to pm me to talk more about the topic.
Most advice is actually good for once.
I'll also add that women generally do less in sex so it's ok if you're not matching his energy.
Just work on being relaxed in all positions so that they work and also on having the motivation to switch it up.
As long as you're not a passive participant he'll enjoy every second and so will you
Practice makes perfect as they say so Practice, Practice, Practice & Practice Safely.
You don't have to "learn", just be open. The way to ruin sex is to think too much. Just go with the flow.
See you're too worried about doing it "right".
There are no right or wrong answers when it comes to sex.
Stop thinking about your technique and let your body whatever it damn well wants to do. Shut off your brain and let your instinct take over. It's a passionate embrace between two souls, not a talent show 😉
And he's no pro either, obviously. If he was, this wouldn't be an issue for you
Being embarrassed about sex is pathetic just enjoy your time with your lover.
Ask him to coach you.
Like anything, practice makes perfect.
No one is born knowing how, it develops over time.
Hang in there and pretty soon you will be rid6him like a rented mule.
Sometimes watching porn can give you ideas of things to try, but remember it is not real life.
Just watching it for research.
Good sex is about communication.
For what it's worth, a lot of women, even those who weren't late bloomers, are really bad at sex because they don't know how to communicate.
You have no reason to feel embarrassed. It will all come fairly naturally. If you need inspiration, do some reading and watch videos. Communication is key. Asking your boyfriend what feels good and telling him what feels good to you is very important. Enjoy learning about each other's bodies together.
Don’t worry about it so much. Seriously. It’s incidental to a relationship. The more connected to the person emotionally, the better the sex will be.
Look and watch video and pictures on internet and learn about sex positions and how those positions are work...
Just practice
How old are you?
25….
To learn it do it a lot And try to change the way every time
It's about having fun and enjoying. Pleasure is not defined by an orgasm alone. Try to have fun, whatever way you enjoy the act, do that. I'm sure he'll love it when he sees you having as much fun as him.
It's the same as sex for an early bloomer.
You don't need to learn sex... it's natural.
You can
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