How can I make anal less painful for my first time?

My fiancé and I wanna try anal and I’m definitely open to it but I know it’s very painful, however I got lube and I have a dildo to practice. Any other tips or advice?

1 5

Superb Opinion

  • Most women hate anal sex the first time they try it because it's painful for them. And that's because they haven't prepared their body for it first. It's no different than doing the splits; most people would injure themselves if they tried to do the splits, but for a gymnast who has properly trained her muscles, it's easy and comfortable.

    Your anal muscles (there are multiple) are no different. They need to be gently stretched, toned and trained over time to be able to relax and comfortably enjoy anal sex, and the only way to do that is training with the right tools. Using a tapered butt plug to slowly and gently stretch your muscles OVER TIME is the best way to start, and using dildos after that will give you a chance to get used to the sensations before trying the real thing. And just like a gymnast, training those muscles takes weeks or months if done properly. Having patience and taking it slow are the keys.

    As a man who is married to a woman who truly enjoys anal sex but had never tried it when we met, I speak from some experience here.

    And to any guys out there who want their woman to enjoy and be enthusiastic about anal sex, and be willing to do it on a regular basis, you would be wise to play the long game and not rush into it, or you risk her having a bad experience the first time and never wanting to do it again.

    The best way to build her enthusiasm is to help her feel how anal stimulation affects the way her orgasms feel. A finger (or VERY small toy, especially one that vibrates) in her ass while you give her oral is a great way to open that door. After she's had a few orgasms that way she'll be much more open to the idea of other anal play, and eventually anal sex.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Use twice as much lube as you think it takes, then use more. Not just on you but on him as well, go slow and push out like you are trying to fart (just not as hard)... that will open up for him. Remember that surface lube isn't enough, you need to get it in deep as well. It shouldn't be painful so much as pressure. If you feel tearing or sharp pain then you're probably not lubed enough or relaxed enough.

Most Helpful Girls

  • As others have said, using dildos and butt plugs is the best way. Get comfortable tking something the size of your fiance before ever letting him go there.

    Learning to relax if super important. It took me a long time to learn that, but once I did it made a huge different in my enjoyment of anal.

    Also, you HAVE to rub your clit and have orgasms when you have something back there. It makes the expereince so much more enjoyable and helps you relax even more.

    • Much appreciated advice! I’m gonna take notes.

  • More dildo practice honestly. Make sure to have a wearable vibe as well. It's so much easier to relax back there if you're being stimulated on your clit. Trust me on this.

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What Girls & Guys Said

5 24
  • First of all communicate tell him to make it all about you not about him tell him to go so very slow motion I mean slow slow it will totally turn him on it will make you cry because it feels so good you don't have to worry about any pain no matter how big he is as long as he knows how to use it and go slow slow motion if you can control himself from getting all excited and crazy you have a wonderful time

  • Smaller guys and work your way up

    • I’m not going to cheat on my fiancé. I love him.

  • Work your way up to the size of your boyfriend with plugs. start small and gradually get bigger.

  • Take it slow…you don’t need to do it all at once either…my fiancée and I eased into anal in many sessions….. touching, fingering, then rimming, then small dildo, then the real thing. …oh and lots of lube.

  • I think you have it covered , slow , relaxed , lube , remain calm so the muscles do not tighten , and what can I say -- ENJOY !

  • Take it slow. Lots and lots of lube. Use fingers first then move up to a butt plug and eventually his cock. It will feel uncomfortable the 1st few times but it'll get easier

  • Find a man with a penis the size of a soda straw, and use Astroglide... It'll be a piece of cake!

  • Wine and lube.

  • I have not had anal sex yet... just vaginal only with 2 girls. The front door was fun why do you want to try anal the body is not made for it really. I guess just use a lot of lube and try to have fun

  • Yeah getting lube and practicing is smart. When you do it take it slow. I only did anal sex once and it was a bad experience for me and her. We was still young and not sure what we was doing. We didn’t use lube except my saliva and I think I was too big. It was hurting her and she was so tight it kinda hurt me. We kept going though till we both cum but my dick and her butt was sore.

  • Foreplay. Make sure there's enough foreplay before you do it. Lube will help, but, really, the more excited you two are, the better

  • Be really turned on. Use proper lube, practice with a toy solo first. Beads, plug or even a finger. Sometimes having clitoris or vaginal stimulation can help anal feel better.

  • I guess, Lube is big. I’ve heard if you lubed up and you think you got enough, you don’t, so keep lubing. Going slow, super slow even stopping at times. All I’ve heard, haven’t done it yet with a partner, the last one we thought about it and researched. But never got to it.

  • butt plug

  • Lube and different sizes of blugs.

  • You can't just bend over and take it.

  • Since when is anal painful?
    You're not starting with a 2" wide, dry, cold metal rod, are you?

  • Use more grease

  • Start with a pinky finger, of course plenty of lube and to add Walgreens sells anal ease which numbs. NO PAIN NO GAIN 🩵 Good Luck

  • Take all the time you need. Make it slowly and Gentle. Sind do it with a Person you really trust

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