How can I make my boyfriend feel more comfortable for our first time?

Hii there! Me and my boyfriend have been together since middle school, we’re now 17 and 18 I’m a senior and he’s already graduated. For my 18th birthday, in 3 weeks we planned to have sex for the first time I’m a virgin, he’s not :/
But He seems way more nervous for it than I am, and I have absolutely no idea how to make him feel less petrified than He already is. So it would mean a lot if you guys could give advice on how I can make him feel more comfortable.

Also: Please don’t give me the “wait for marriage thing or your too young” I’ve been with this kid forever and whether or not we end up together I wouldn’t regret losing it to my first love.
0 1

Superb Opinion

  • Lovemaking is the tango of two. Hence in principle, both must talk about it, then try understand each others need, and try to fulfill them for each other.

    This is how you may converse over a few dates:

    1) protection. Not just against pregnancy but also STD. Consider having a check up together if you not intend to use condoms. IUDs is effective against pregnancy but not STD.

    2) blood, pain and mess. Yes, you may bleed. You may have sharp pain when he tries to penerrate. These are "sex-stoppers" and are extremely unromantic.

    Read up and learn for yourself how to do stretching to reduce the pain.

    3) position: I suggest missionary and missionary only. Talk about what is means and how to do it.

    4) reduce expectations, together. No, first time is not like fairy tales. He may not go in. You may scream for him to stop. You may feel "is that all sex is?" Or worst, swore never to have sex anymore.

    Discuss and prepare to laugh the scenarios off, should they occur.

    5) aftermath. Haha, yes, have the mindset together right now, that doesn't matter how horrible the First is going to be, you both choose a "sex-filled lifestyle". Yes, have the mindset to make sex a part of your life from that day onward.

    The great-sex-days will come. Until then, learn from bad days, and keep improving. Lovemaking is an art. The more you practice, the better you become.

    Have fun, stay healthy, be creative, and use common sense. 😁

Most Helpful Guy

  • Sounds like because it's going to be your first time he's probably worried he'll not live up to your expectations.

    The stories I hear most women experience some discomfort and maybe some bleeding first time which seems a bit of an anticlimax if you plan a special evening leading up to it.

    You might want to make it clear for him your not expecting him to perform like a porn star you just want him to be gentle and you set the pace.

Scroll Down to Read Other Opinions

What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!

What Girls & Guys Said

0 10
  • It's an illusion, no way that he is more nervous than you, he is not virgin, and he is a guy.

    https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AManIsAlwaysEager

  • First off, it's great that you have someone so close and you feel positive about this !
    I have a few ideas, but we should talk about it somewhere else where others can't see!

  • I would say don't strategize it, and let it flow.

  • Be very, very, gentle. Sex and love making isn't the same thing.

  • I would suggest you learn what pleases you sexually by exploring your body... through masturbating. When you do have sex with him you
    Want to be wet and have him put some Vaseline on his penis. Think about if you want to be on top or bottom. If you are on top you can use your hand to slowly guide his penis inside of you.

  • Make it oral, pour it in your face

  • Make sure he knows your ready for it cause that could be some of his nervousness

  • Are you on birth control? Planning to use a condom? Just be patient and go slow.

  • My guess is he had to ask you out first

  • my guess, he had to ask you out first