Sexual Relationships
+1 y

How can I relieve sexual tension?

My fiance and I both have different sex drives. Mine is a lot higher than his, and I find myself feeling a bit sexually tense. The major problem is I dont have any toys, and it's hard for me to get relaxed enough to masturbate. Does anyone have any suggestions to improve this situation? I've accepted that our sexual needs are different, I just want to know how I can meet my own needs under such circumstances.
Updates:
+1 y
I think I may have worded my question wrong. My solution, is obviously to masturbate. I just can't get relaxed or comfortable enough to do it? Like I can't get my own engine started even if I am horny?
0 2

Most Helpful Guys

  • You can order toys online to be delivered to your door if to embarrassed or to far from sex shop.
    Maybe have a long hot bath and gently touch yourself while in there, then get out and wear some sexy panties or lingerie and go lay on your bed and enjoy yourself.

    • Haven't tried the bath thing, good suggestion. Thanks.

    • No worries, glad to of helped in some way, just got out of the bath myself...

  • Have a look at this article:
    https://www.proprofs.com/discuss/q/1455047/how-can-i-reduce-sexual-tension-without-having

    • Thanks man!

    • No problem.

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 24

  • Cheat

    • I'm classy, I don't hurt people I love. 😊

    • True not good to cheat.

    • Right? Unless you like causing permanent harm to someone's mental state.

    • Show All

  • Rub it rub it until the urge goes away.

    • Lol thanks for your input

  • Definitely get some toys or find some addictive hobby. Also, you could excercise to diffuse the sex drive. I am a guy and this is what I do.

    • That's very useful information. Exercising would be a good thing all the way around. Thank you.

    • However, I find that I get even hornier after I work out, so it'll be trial and error.

    • Of course. I can't expect pristine results right away. It may work, it may not. But the idea is good, I haven't heard that exercising might help with that before.

    • Show All

  • Toys could definitely help. Why don't you have one?

    • Probably just because I feel embarrassed. Ashamed. Whatever you would call it.

    • Embarrassed for doing it or for buying one?

    • Just buying it. I dont have any sort of way to shop online, and I'm an antisocial (nervous) person. Makes for an interesting dilemma. Lol.

    • Show All

  • Get a different boyfriend

  • Get some toys.

    • If I could, I would.

    • Why can't you?

    • I dont have the nerve to buy it from an actual person face to face, and I dont shop online.

    • Show All

  • Get toys, or try to find a way to increase his sex drive. Weather or not you want to cheat, it'll likely happen if you got in the right situation with another guy. Sadly, that's why a lot of men cheat. Their drive is higher than women's, and we just need it.
    I'm not condoning cheating, but differing sex drives is a big cause.

    • I have tried helping him get into stuff more. From trying all sorts of new things to sitting down and making sure he's okay emotionally. I know I would never cheat on him, he doesn't neglect me sexually. I just want it quite a bit more often than he does. I can see what you're saying, but I think it's based on someone's willpower to do the right thing.

    • Hopefully you get some good ideas on here. Actually, maybe changing your diet would help. Find things that lower sex drive... I feel dirty even suggesting that though. Or find food that will increase his. :P

    • Yeah. It's been semi helpful. & I don't have a problem with being such a sexual person, I just want a way to satisfy it without hurting my fiance in any way.

  • Dm me and tell me your fantasies

  • You should talk to your fiance about it. And make him understand about your urges. So he can help you with that. But if that doesn't work then you've to masturbate enough to satisfy your urges (Use toys. You can buy them from store or online).

    • Thanks for the tip!

    • You're welcome😊

  • Buy a toy or try sexting or reading some erotic story or watch some porn

  • Slip him Viagra

  • Have tried Ben Wa balls?

    • No I have not. They seem like they could be helpful though.

  • Get toys seems like the easiest answer.

  • if he will start to play with you that's will be enough for that , and it will be better than toys , just you need to show him that you want more thinks :)

    • He just isn't as into sexual things as I am. I dont want to ask him to do that when he wouldn't be getting anything out of it.

    • so you should work about that for make him more crazy , maybe he is shy and so on... for more info come for privet message or add me

  • Lobotomy

    • I currently don't know any lobotomists. 😂

  • Tell him to makeout with you kiss and lick your body lick your pussy there are a lot of things he can do to satisfy you

    • Yes, true. I just dont want to ask him because our sex drive is so different I really don't think he would enjoy it, which in turn would be a turn off to me.

  • Umm, he probably jerks off multiple times a day. Tell him and your sex life might quadruple.

    • No, he doesn't. 😂 but that would be great if we both had this amazing undiscovered sex drive. He just isn't as sexual as I am. I have told him, he agrees and understands.

    • Interesting. Then leave him. Sex is very important in relationship. Maybe he’ll realize it and get it together.

    • I have invested 5 years of my life with this man, we are high school sweethearts. I'm not going to leave him because I lay awake horny at night. Sex is very important, I agree. But there is SO much more that goes into a healthy relationship. I want to be satisfied sexually, but not by anyone else but my fiance. So maybe I should be asking how to up his sex drive.

    • Show All

  • Buy some freaky toys maybe a anal bead or 5.. Or just call me lmao

  • I have the same problem. Haven't found anything that helps too much.

    • I've had a lot of people insinuate that because of our different sex drive, that I will eventually cheat. That's not the solution I want. Sorry you have the same problem though, I know it sucks.

    • It does make it tempting. But like you said, not ideal

    • If you truly love who you are with, it won't even be tempting. The thought of letting anyone else touch me, makes me sick, regardless of the fact that I'm practically horny all the time. I guess I am just a different breed.

  • Speak with your husband once, or else get a toy to play with it

  • Show More (5)

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