How can I stop being afraid of (having) sex?

I am dating someone and I want to have sex, but I am still a bit afraid of the risks.
What if I end up pregnant or get a STD/STI?
I am going to the hospital to get an copper IUD which will hopefully help prevent pregnancy, but I am still afraid of the STD-part.
The guy I am dating is not a virgin and he says that he gets tested annually, but how can I know for sure?
I guess I am just scared, but I don't want to be. What can I do?
1 1

Superb Opinion

  • Wear a condom. It's one way to be sure.

    But you're doing the right things, making sure you have an IUD and your partner is doing the right thing by sharing his test results.

    Both my sexual partners and I have done similar. My current partner and I traded STI test results and had protected sex.

    Since he's gotten a vasectomy and also tested clean, I've allowed him to go raw dog, but I'm also getting a bilateral saplingectomy and have likewise been tested clean and shared my results with him.

    Sex is great fun, but reckless sex is a great way to get disease or kids. Neither of which are too desirable (unless you're someone who wants kids).

    But you sound like you're taking all the right precautions. Use that condom if it makes you feel safer, and take it slow.

    There's no rush, and even "practice sex" is fun sex. Let yourself off the hook - you're gonna be fine.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Listen-you don't have to be scared-but you always have to be smart. I wouldn't buy the "I get tested annually" line from any guy no matter how good looking he is. Birth control on your part is good. But make that guy wears a condom.
    Every. single. time. No matter how many times he says he been tested.

Most Helpful Guys

  • A copper IUD is one of the best forms of birth control. My fiancé has got one. The only pain about them is getting them in and out.
    Tell him to go and get tested now. If he checks out what's the problem.
    If you don't trust him to be loyal and that is causing you problems get a book or therapy.

  • This guy should respect your concerns and get an STD screening and show you the results. And if you had been sexually active previously (which you haven't) then you would do the same thing.

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 10
  • I would have assumed using condoms was a pretty obvious solution...

  • Yeah, I was gonna say, use condoms.

    Best way it be clean.
    Don't use the expired ones tho.
    😍😋

  • Ask him to get tested one more time. See the results for yourself. Other than that, the best way to conquer a fear has always been to face it.

  • Use condoms, they protect from STDs and Pregnancy.

  • Use a condom. Talk about this with him.

  • Don't do it

  • You can trust him. If you don't trust that he's clean when he says he is, you shouldn't have sex with him.

  • Tell him to get tested or leave him. You should think like this sex means baby if you didn't know and to abort it's the worse thing.

  • Sex without condom is hot but risky, for that you should know that person very well.

  • Use protection like condoms

  • Maybe he isn't the right guy. How have sexual situations been to this point?