How can I stop my friend from her reckless behaviour?

[Lisia]

So I have a female friend, she was always on the obese side (330 pounds for 5'4) I'm saying that 'cause it's relevant to the story.

She always got bullied by the boys from my class and random boys from school for her being overweight. But she always wanted attention from the guys and she did it in the wrong way (sent videos of her sucking a lollipop and moaning and of her pussy) and the boys from my class showed it behind her back to me and I was so shocked. I never expected her to send nudes and video's of herself in that way.. she always acted like she never would do anything like that and that she was a saint. I never told her tho because I didn't know what to do about it since the guys were just laughing about it behind her back and I'm bad at confrontation.

Now last year she dropped out of high school because she turned 18 and in our country if you fail classes you have to redo your year and she had to.

I spoke to her recently and she's doing a lot of things like smoking weed with boys and afterwards fucking them. Vaping, drinking, partying a lot. And I'm for it if that makes her happy but now she's scared she got pregnant and stuff..

She's also a pathological liar so I don't know if it's even true what she's telling me.. but she wanted to go to university like me and she's ruining her chances since she doesn't have a degree yet and she likes hanging out more..

Should I just leave her be although she might be ruining her future.. she also got a vape addiction now.

My friend (left) and her back then girlfriend (right)

[RoseySarah]

My cousin is like that and as a women who really tried and made it my duty or responsibility to help her...

You can she will do what makes her happy and if you get to her way then she will keep doing it behind your back!

She is a friend that you don't see much any more. Your good side can't help her bad side!

She has free will and yours won't stop her free will from terrible choices!

This hurts she sounds like a good friend but friends don't last unless both really work and try to.

You said she can't stop lying right? So even any thing you get probably won't be true. All you can do is keep your own mental health and talk with her be a friend she can vent to and be open with.

Judge when you need to and give her advice when asked and share your life with her! Point out the good rewards!

For her being bad is what pays off and yes soon she will be selling those videos and doing worse things! She might happily go into the adult industry even.

The one I tried helping killed herself and every what if or what I could have done leads to... everything was her choice!

[RoseySarah]

Thanks for mho

[HelpfulWoman]

You can't frankly. She sounds like someone to cut ties with, and like a girl I had to do the same with.

[Lisia]

I feel like I can't..

[HelpfulWoman]

it may feel that way, but you absolutely can haha

[brownup]

See this is exactly the problem I have with weight issues, society these days just frowns upon calling someone fat and all, and body positivity shit. When in fact it's doing nothing to help them.. everyone knows inside they are fat , so just demanding society to not call it for what it is, is just hiding from the problem. Deep down they make up for it with various personality traits that are not always healthy, so instead of doing what needs to be done, cut out extra food and move around more.. they proceed to all the wrong habits

[Lisia]

She got surgery but I don't think it helped that much

[DarkWinterNights]

There is nothing you can do. You can’t save everyone. She’s chosen this self destructive lifestyle and can change only when she wants to. You just have to hope and pray she realizes it before it’s too late for her to have a normal life.

[4ngelic]

dont bother i dont think even if you tried hard that would stop her

[genericname85]

you're not her mom. all you can do is give her the best advice you can and ultimately withdraw your frienship. but you don't get to control her choices.

[Lisia]

She doesn't have good parents tho :/

[genericname85]

so now you have to be her parent?

[Lisia]

No but I feel bad.. we've been friends for so long

[genericname85]

i understand you. and the worst thing that you can do in this situation is act as if that is your responsibility. it isn't. i'm not saying to abendon and ignore her but you the opposite extreme of that would be trying to control her and i think that's what you're looking to do. as a friend, your responsibility is to tell her what you think straight up. and if you can not accept her behavior, you gotta withdraw your friendship, cause you'll wreck yourself trying to fix her.

[Lisia]

I'll try my best..

[genericname85]

don't beat yourself up if it doesn't work out. that's the essence of what i've been trying to say :D good luck

[Chayce]

Trauma counselling & a strict consistent workout routine would have her feeling amazing

[Lisia]

She tried working out once but there are always mcdonalds next to our gyms so yeah that's pretty tempting

[Chayce]

LMAO what. She tried once and gave up cause there are McDonalds next to the gyms? She doesn’t want it bad enough

[Lisia]

No she only does shit for boys.

[Friendlybro79]

You can't control what others do. Be a good friend a good influence and realize when you tell others about their behaviors it can turn people off even when you're right.

[Lisia]

She always gaslights me into thinking I'm crazy that I think that's bad behaviour to have tho..

[Friendlybro79]

Should you be friends with someone that's always gaslighting you?

[Lisia]

No but I once tried to get rid of her 4 years ago and she was crying to her parents and they contacted me.. since then I didn't dare to unfriend her again tbh. I just think she wants to be like those girls in the movies

[Friendlybro79]

That was 4 years ago and you were kids (assuming by your age in your profile). You're old enough and she's old enough now to get over it. Take control of your life and get rid of toxic relationships if you want to. No excuses lol. I mean this all from a good place if it sounds like I'm yelling lol.

[Christoff92]

Just let her be. Go on with your day. Let her come to you when she's ready.

[TallAnon]

You can't help someone that doesn't want to help themselves. She knows she'll likely die before 50 at that weight with that height.

[Lisia]

She's trying to lose weight tho

[TallAnon]

Is she actively trying or is it just something she is saying?

[Lisia]

She did a surgery because her weight is life threatening and in my country the government pays for it.. she doesn't have a healthy lifestyle tho. Mcdonalds is her favourite restaurant

[TallAnon]

A surgery is not effort, it's the easy way out

[shades777]

yea who cares

[In_Trance]

You can't

[ChefPapiChulo]

wow unfortunate :(

[msc545]

Leave her be. You cannot help her but you can harm yourself.

[Z1pTD]

I don't know that's tough sry

[Mettbltt]

it's her decision

[Lisia]

She doesn't know that what she's doing is bad tho

[justabuddy]

Self confidence is key.

[eagle1951]

she needs help but not from you. get her into a treatment place

[Yellovv]

Is she your bestfriend or what?

[Lisia]

Nope

[Yellovv]

Why you care that much about her?

[Lisia]

Because we were the only 2 girls in class for YEARS we had still a close bond we grew apart because she dropped out of school.

[Yellovv]

If she choose her own way you can't able to do anything about it..

[Kingofkings1992]

She’s obviously a mess. You are under no obligation to look after her.

[Lisia]

I feel bad tho :/

[aadrianaa777]

you can't change some one wo doesn't want to change.

[EvenFlow]

Your statement is nothing but the truth. This girl has to want her situation to be different before she is able to change her current behavior