How can I tell this guy to stop shoving his tongue down my throat the moment we kiss?

Instead of easing into thr kiss he starts with the tongue and that's such a big turn off for me. The first time he kissed me I had to stop him because one moment we are talking and the next, his tongue is in my mouth without any warning. What should I do? I still like him.
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Most Helpful Girl

  • When I first started dating and becoming intimate with people, I used to find it extremely difficult to tell them what actions and gestures I liked and which ones I didn’t. I used to feel that if I told them, their feelings would be hurt and they would begin to dislike or even hate me… but that is not usually the case! If this man/dude/boy is truly interested in you and respects your thoughts and feelings, he won’t be devastated when you tell him it’s a huge turn-off. But be constructive about it. By constructive, I mean, when you tell him you do not like it, give him alternatives that you enjoy so he doesn’t feel “cold-shouldered.” Earlier in my current relationship, I used to hate it when my boyfriend stuck his tongue down my throat when we kissed, because, at the time, his oral hygiene wasn’t the best and it was just flatout gross. However, when I told him, I said, “I don’t really enjoy it when we tongue kiss, because I feel a bit suffocated, but I love it when you kiss my neck!” While I hurt him because I disliked his tonguing, I praised and lifted his esteem by praising the alternative! Nothing is more destructive in love and romantic growth than completely shooting down somebody’s abilities… it’s almost cruel, really. Be firm in how you feel, but make the blow soft! Or don’t… I could be just spewing bullshit, but hey, you never know! Life is strange!

Most Helpful Guys

  • wow, that is a tough one. It is hard to tell someone they suck at kissing. If you really want to stay with him all you can do it tell him and see what happens. Just do it as nicely as you can. Your a woman, just start crying because "you don't want to hurt his feelings" lol... he will actually feel bad for being told he sucks at kissing.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • As difficult as it is, if you like him, you're going to have to teach him, and you're going to half to do so VERY clearly. Good luck!

  • "I like kissing you, but I don't like that much tongue." Done.

  • Tell him that you prefer if he didn't do it