Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
I have been with my fiancée for almost five years. Last year we got engaged, she got promoted at work and everything was going great for us. Then she started getting home later and later. Her work had taken over our lives. Whenever I tried to initiate sex she always replied with “I'm too tired,” or “Not right now.” In the beginning I understood, but eventually it all became too much for me. She was so wrapped up in her work and I couldn’t stand it one bit. I wanted her to give me some attention, too.
I am in no way blaming her for me cheating. That was all on me.
One night while I was out with the guys some girl approached me. We got to talking and eventually, after all my friends left, went back to her place. At this point I was not thinking about my fiancée. I was thinking about the 21-year old with big tits standing in front of me. And how I hadn't had sex in what felt like forever. So I had sex with her.
Two things happened while she was bouncing up and down on top of me.
1. I realized how much I truly love my fiancée:
The sex with this other girl was good, but it made me realize the error in my ways. The situation forced me to actually think about our issues and forced me to confront them. Instead of just hoping things between us got better.
2. I realized what I was losing:
I was throwing my 5-year relationship for a girl whose name I wouldn't care to remember the next day.
I told my fiancée what I did the next morning. She was angry. Who wouldn't be? But I told her those two things I wrote above and I explained to her why I did it. We decided to go to couples counseling to work on our relationship. Eventually things were better than ever.
We're getting married next month! :)
What Girls & Guys Said
31 32you should have just watched p*rn dude. it will pretty much kill every urge you have.
Nothing EVER makes cheating on the person you are with okay. I don't care if things work out in the end, CHEATING IS NOT OKAY.
Cheating is never okay. Why didn't you tell her how you felt in the beginning?
I missed how it "saved" your relationship exactly.
wakeup call. Because sometimes you need to be thrown to the wolves to learn your mistakes.
But he wasn't "thrown to the wolves". He went and hung out in the den and fucked one even. There's no "loss" here per se.
@dartmaul15 fucking a "21 year old with big tits" while engaged isn't being thrown to the wolves especially considering she forgave him...
@been_waiting he wans't, she was. I beleive the REAL reason the relationship is working again is because she realized she needed to spend more time tending to the relationship. Sadly it took a cheating man to see it, and it also took a cheating husband to make HIM realize how much he really loved her. I'd say it's a rare case of "two wrongs make one right". He fucked up by sheating, she fucked up by not spending enough time with her, and the affair made them BOTH see the wrong they were doing, and thus made them able to work to fix it.
@dartmaul15 it isn't that she didn't spend enough time with him. She had a busy job. That's what marriage is. Making compromises. If he felt that she wasn't around enough he could talk to her. I'm betting he would have cheated regardless
@been_waiting that's a dangerous way of thinking. Not only because we don't know and have no way of knowing, but also because it can be fundamentally sexist. Either way, they likely have done a lot of things wrong to get to where they are now. Her neglecting the marriage IS one of them. "i'm tired" repeated will drive a relationship apart if it's happening over and over again. Why? Because it shows the person isn't priorizing their partner, and that is something you can't forget. Sorry, but she's not completely innocent in damaging the relationship
@dartmaul15 when you marry someone expect things to NOT be perfect. And when you have a concern express it and work on it. Fucking someone else is not the answer. I agree that what she did isn't the best way but again he needed to have a talk with her.
This is riveting and all but I am starting to regret saying the original eight words that sparked this... whatever you consider this.
That poor woman...
What counts is you immediately confessed, though, it is sad that it took for you to cheat to understand what it actually is. This will never justify cheating, but in most cases people keep it to themselves, instead of confessing, so that is your saving grace. Bottom line here is you took counseling and that's why you managed to work things out.
Yeeeeah, she deserves better.
This is why aliens don't wanna talk to us
poor excuse, so your fiancee never has days off work or weekends where you could have had sex? glad it worked out in the end
Anyone who tries to control someone elses sexuality via an oath is a control freak in my book. This entire scenario exists only because we do not understand our sexuality. Mariiage vows will go away with dinosaurs. Once we understand our sexual maturity, all of these scenarios will disappear.
good for you but if you had loved her you wouldn't of cheated and she's a mug and eventually you will break up again as she will cheat or star to hate you
Lots of girls secretly love being cheated on, as long as the man comes back to them. It shows that he has good genes, because other women want him.
Doesn't work the other way around though, because women get pregnant, and men don't.
Cheating does not save a relationship, it ruins a relationship. Learn the difference.
Great story! Sorry to hear your relationship had this challenge, but congrats to you and your fiancée for working through it!
If you don't mind me asking, how old are you and how old is your fiancée? I ask because you noted the girl you got with was 21, so just wondering about how old she was relative to the two of you. Also, how big were her big tits and did this play into your thinking when you were chatting her up when you were out, and/or when you were at her place?
What the fuck
What, what the fuck?
This is the most stupid sh! t ever LOL
Fuck everyone else's negative bitching and judging, I thank you for your take. Something similar happened to me and saved my relationship. Four years later we are happier than we ever were, closer than we ever were and trust each other a million times more. Cheating is not in a par with child murder like everyone seems to make out. There are far worse things which people allow and enable within relationships. The taboo of cheating is greatly greatly hyped.
Just because you think cheating is ok on some level it doesn't mean everyone else is. It breaks people's hearts and trust for their partner, and everyone is completely justified for thinking that cheaters are shitty people for willingly doing something like that to the person they supposedly "love".
everyone else does*
@lumos nowhere did I say they weren't shitty people and that people don't get hurt. Nowhere. What I'm objecting to is the fact it's seen as the more heinous thing in the world when it isn't. It's bad, yeah, it's disrespectful and esteem shattering but so are so many things in life.
Nobody here is acting like it's the worst thing ever, though? They're rightfully calling out the asker on his BS, which is a part of posting shit like this publicly.
@lumos must we do this every time cheating is mentioned? You jump on me like a dog with a bone and it's getting boring having the same conversation. Nothing is achieved. You don't understand my point of view and there is nothing that is going to change that and with how I feel and what I have personally experienced, there is nothing you are going to say that will change my mind. Let's just leave it yeah?
Of course everyone is going to try to crucify you because they're animals that function off their initial reactions, but I hear you. Her lack of thoughtfulness about her relationship is the root problem, cheating merely the symptom. Good luck in the future.
I think if you really want to be fair towards her, you should let her have sex with another guy. That way everything is totally even between you two. If you value your relationship so much, then that shouldn't be a problem.
If it were me, and my bf did what you did... Then I would tell him: "If you really value me as a person, then be FAIR and let me..." Otherwise, I'd feel like I didn't mean anything to him, because everything he said was a complete LIE.
Besides, if you valued the relationship so much, why didn't you come to her and be honest, and then suggest therapy BEFORE? If you can be brave enough to admit to cheating, then why couldn't you be brave in the first place? If it were me, that's what I'd be thinking. I'd never believe anything you said to me ever again in your life, and leave you. Unless you were willing to be FAIR, like how I said before. That would be totally different.
I don't think it's really mature saying: you had sex with somebody else, so now I wanna have sex too with a stranger. I mean, it's perfetly understundable, but just 'cause she's mad. If you are in love with somebody you know when you do something wrong, you forgive the other person when he/she does something wrong. If you get hurt, and then you just wanna hurt back, it's ok. It's understandable, but it's not love.
@deddi I meant that if he would let me do that... I'd be totally willing to believe he really cared for me, and not my body. It wouldn't be to attck him, I would want to ask him and see if he'd let me do it, of his own choice.
To the OP: Maybe it saved your relationship, but did it save your GF's self respect?
Girls, satisfy that dick or it'll go fuck another pussy! It has a brain of its own.
sadly you can't leave a guy craving for too long or else the above might happe -u-
Weak and undisciplined man.