How come guys want friends with benefits but don’t know how to do the friends part?

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Superb Opinion

  • A friends with benefits is NOT a boyfriend, and you shouldn't expect nearly the same level of expectations that you would from a boyfriend. friends with benefits would be better named "Friendly With Benefits" - meaning you are nice to each other, NOT that you are close friends who hang out a lot when you aren't having sex. Mostly, friends with benefits is about neither person wanting or being in a position to be in a real relationship, but recognizing that you have sexual needs, so you've found someone you are friendly with (but not necessarily super close with) who you can meet those needs with, and perhaps OCCASIONALLY share a meal or hang out in front of the TV with. Most of the time, you're going to meet up, bang, and then go on about your own individual lives.

    If you're expecting more than that, you really need to be in a full-on relationship.

    • Ok but where’s the benefits in that?

    • The benefits are that you get your sexual needs taken care of, but you are free to otherwise continue the single life that so many girls claim to enjoy. And you do so without sleeping around and running your body count way up with one-night stands. Girls who want all the benefits of a relationship need to be in a relationship, and not delude themselves into thinking they're going to get everything for nothing. You might get away with that for a very brief time, but you can't sustain it.

Most Helpful Guy

  • I think you're going about it wrong if that'w how it works out.

    Much like friends with benefits starts with friends and ends up with benefits, getting into it should also start from being friends and adding benefits. The whole point is that the relation does not change despite adding sex.

    If the relation does not include friendship to begin with, expecting someone to become your friend because you have sex is... a little odd. Even if we assume they are the only ones failing the friendship commitment.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Because the friends part is where someone needs to put in effort but many people will say “friends with benefits” to cut corners of what they are actually looking for which is just sex. If you are looking for effort, I wouldn’t settle for friends with benefits

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What Girls & Guys Said

2 13
  • Selfishness

  • The word is a euphemism for sex without commitments.

    However, I wonder if the term existed before the 2011 movie of that name featuring Mila Kunis and a guy (sorry, my memory is selective).

    Incidentally, the two people were friends who ended up in a committed relationship after a while, so the whole thing was ultimately not even a typical example of what it was about.

    • Timberlake is the dude.

  • Cause they don't want friends with benefits, this is just a way of saying everyone involved just wants to fuck and then come back for more, I can't believe you are still thinking friendship is on their mind tbh

  • I'm VERY good with the friends part but have yet to find ANYONE willing to even OFFER me the benefits!!

  • Boyfriend is not friend.
    Sex is not friend either.

  • Because they would rather have sex and play a couple than be friends on other days

  • They really aren't interested in the friends part, they just want the benefits

  • Yeah sometimes guys get more emotionally attached to the girl for some reason in a friends with benefits relationship which I find odd cause you think it be the other way around. You just got to make sure both people know it's just sex and thats it. Most of my friends with benefits relationships we always had rules or guidelines we follow to make sure no feelings got in the way.

  • Probably because what they really want is a FB, NOT an friends with benefits!

  • All they want is sex with 1 person for a while and don't want a relationship. So they go for friends with benefits cause that's an option. They don't want to be friends, but just want the benefits yk

  • Both really lol

  • is he inexperienced chap? he needs some sex ed classes.

  • Probably they're looking for a cum dumpster.

  • Because they just want to fuck.

  • What friends with benefits means is “an easy female who will be available when he’s horny” there is never an intent on being “friends”

    We don’t need you for “friendship”, we have buddies for that. Guys who understand us and don’t make us feel guilty or shame us for shit they don’t like or understand.