How do I 19f tell older boyfriend 34 m I am pregnant?

Hello,
Before you drag me for having unsafe safe, I am on birth control, and we wear condoms ever time we have sex. Secondly, I know the age gap sucks, it started off as a harmless hookup then turned into a 7 month relationship.

How the hell do I tell him I’m pregnant and that I don’t want to keep it for both of our sakes? Before you judge me again, it’s not a smart choice to keep it, he’s an amazing guy, but he would be “exiled” because of our age gap and the fact that I’m pregnant. And I would just be fucked because I’m a student.
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AI Bot Choice

Superb Opinion
  • You have two choices.

    • Don't tell him and not keep the baby.
    • Tell him and not keep the baby.
    • Yes, theoretically you have the third choice of tell him and he convinces you to keep the baby but I don't see that working for either of you.

    I'm going to rule out the third choice. You were clear in your original post about the impact a child would have on your studies and in your replies to other posters about how your boyfriend is approaching his career.

    I love how simple the first choice is. Just have the procedure and move on with life. (I realize I'm oversimplifying, particularly for you) -- if he doesn't know, there's zero drama.

    But. You are an adult. You made an adult decision to have sex and so did he. Sex and adult decisions require adult conversations, even unpleasant ones. It's the right thing to do. Most of all because it implies trust between you. So, I say tell him and tell him your decision about the baby. As for how, find a time when seven simultaneous things aren't happening. Be prepared for him to take time to process the news -- and your decision. Don't make it a long, drawn out story. Just tell him simply.

Most Helpful Guy

  • 1. This seems ridiculously unlikely. I use pullout and have lots of sex. Lots. I'm 36 and been very active a long time. I've only gotten women pregnant when I cum in them. Never got one pregnant when doing pull out. The fact you used a condom and pill. Seems ridiculous. Are you sure you didn't sleep with another man? 🤔

    2. Why so concerned about the age gap? I was 34 when my girlfriend was 18... we're now 36 and 20. It's no big deal. Generally people ask about it but thats it. Mainly people congratulate us because we're a great match. Men and women are like you're a lucky man. And women will tell her she's lucky too. Sounds like you're making problems where there are none.

Most Helpful Girls

  • Who get's pregnant on birth control and using condoms?

    But anyways.. I would tell him and discuss it because if you stay with him while keeping it a secret that you killed his kid and he ever found out he might hate you.
    I would talk it out... if you can convince him why it is for the best then go with it, you might have a change of heart tho if he is stable and wants to keep it... he is 34...

    • Apparently it’s possible, thus my unfortunate position. I got the depo shot and here I am. He’s stable but he has openly told me he doesn’t want kids for the next 3 years because of the industry he’s in, and I was ok with that because I don’t either. I have no intentions of keeping it a secret, I’m just really shitting myself on how to word it so he isn’t as stressed as I am right now.

    • Oh the shot., I see... but he is a grown man he can handle it so don't worry... I am not saying don't do it, but just know abortions do cause stress on yourself... All I recommend is don't do it with the pills at home.. get the doctor to do it...

  • Is this a relationship that you see a future in? I would only involve him if you do. If you don’t and you are sure you don’t want to have this baby, then I wouldn’t bother complicating things by telling him. Do what’s in your own best interest and get on with your life as a student. You have your whole life ahead of you.

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 15
  • Have you guys ever had the real talk about having a kid? Would be my first real question and don't worry about the whole society thing. What really matters is if u two are serious is that you both are happy. And age gaps don't really matter if you guys genuinely do love one another. We got age gaps that are as HUGE as 50 year gaps.

    • We have had the kid conversation, and it mostly went around the lines of neither of us wanting kids outside of marriage, him wanting to adopt possibly, and how he might be too old to chase kids around in the timeline we talked about. I’ve also stated a few months ago that I’d probably have an abortion if I got pregnant and wasn’t stable. But that’s also traumatizing… but in the flip side it won’t derail our lives.

  • Sorry to read about your situation. He definitely needs to know. After all you have been having sex with him for 7 months and he has a right to know about your pregnancy. Make time (I know it will be uncomfortable) and just get to the point and tell him.

    Not keeping the baby should be both of your choices, You can abort it (if it is legal in ur state) or have the child and give it up for adoption. Can you go to your parents for some advice?

    • My parents are super religious and would probably beat me to death literally. I’m probably going to attempt to tell him this weekend, but I’d like to confirm it at the doctors first.

    • Have you taken an EPT to see if u are pregnant? Sooner or later you will need your parents help and sure they will be upset but if they love you they will help. I know you know this but never, never had sex with out a condom no matter what the guy says.

  • Congratulate him on being a father to a soon to be dead child.

    • So don’t tell him?

  • You're already literally fucked. Might as well make it official and tell him.

  • The age gap is fine in my opinion. If you both really care about each other, keep it and start a family together. At least tell him first and talk about it together before doing anything.

  • Are you SURE your boyfriend is a male?

    • Mmmhmmmmm

    • Okay. It just didn't sound like it.

  • Just tell him. Be honest and blunt. Stick to your guns. You don't want it so ultimately you're getting rid. But he has the right to know

  • There isn't any beating of the bush, just got to have the serious discussion and what you prefer to do, and explain what you just said it would get in the way of being a student, and/or getting a degree.

  • Lmao, you are so fucked.

    • Yeah dude I know.

  • You just go to him and tell him. That easy. Men are not hard to understand.

    • Also, youbare an adult. Who cares about the age gap?

  • This is so disgusting. That means that when you were 15, he was 30. That's pedophilia

    • Yeah that’s how math works.

    • Which is pedophilia

    • Well unfortunately for you, I was of age when we met, and I pursued him. I’m the grandpa slayer here.

    • Show All
  • When he’s not with his wife.

  • “I’m pregnant”

  • Just tell him he's going to find out Sooner or later You're 19 And You're hot as h*** I bet and now you're pregnant boo

  • So it was unplanned?

  • You'll regret if you dont keep the baby