Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
As a man, I don't feel sexually dominant. Psychologically, this makes me very tired.
When I get to the root of this feeling, I know that my mother raised me feminine when I was little.
As a man, I think I'm like this because of the lack of paternal dominance because my father never helped me with these issues when I was younger. What are your ideas and solutions?
What Girls & Guys Said
0 2Just like not every woman is happy being submissive, not every man is happy being dominant.
Also, there are plenty of people who fall in between.
In fact, it’s more a spectrum, and where people land is usually not on the extreme end of either side of the spectrum.
You need to find out what fulfills you and what makes you feel free and makes you feel like you are authentically expressing yourself.
It should feel like you’re finally able to breathe, stretch your wings, and be yourself—and to feel that, it may mean you embrace dominance or submission or something else.
Some men genuinely enjoy submitting to their partner and allowing them to lead, supporting them emotionally and in whatever other way they need. They could be doing this for a woman OR a man (if M/M). If they are happy and their partner is treating them right and loves them, there’s nothing wrong with this.
But, if you know for a fact that you would be happier and more fulfilled being dominant, hard, aggressive, disciplined, competitive, and you thrive under pressure and enjoy taking on responsibilities and challenges, then perhaps being dominant is for you.
You can develop that by putting yourself in environments where you can practice and cultivate that.
You can channel and cultivate that by playing sports, training to be the best. You can also start learning martial arts, learning how to dominant your opponents in the ring. You can also do that in your career, setting a target and going after it, outshining your peers as you go after those promotions and higher positions as you become the best in your company and the best in your industry.
That’s the sort of hungry, ambitious, driven mentality and energy that you’ll want to cultivate within yourself.
One of the best books that captures this essence is the book Relentless by Tim Grover.
Tim Grover exudes dominance in everything he does and he was the personal trainer of Kobe Bryant and Michael Jordan, to help them perform at their best.
There’s a reason why Michael Jordan kept Tim Grover around for 15 years.
It’s because Tim Grover knows his sh*t, especially when it comes to mental toughness and having the dominant mentality of a top competitor.
Read Relentless by Tim Grover, and you’ll have an idea about the intense headspace that will help you develop dominance and understand it better.
But, if that doesn’t resonate with you, that’s fine too.
There’s no need to force yourself to become what society thinks you should be.
Figure out who you are, be true to you, and become the version of yourself that fulfills YOU.
Also, within the gay community there are a LOT of men that rather Bottom than Top. Both being dominant or being a Top in the bedroom, needs to fit with who you are, otherwise it’s going to feel mentally draining try to be someone you’re not. If it is for you, it should excite you that you can develop this part of you that you’ve always wanted to cultivate, but you just didn’t know how to start. If it’s not for you, it’s going to feel exhausting the whole time, and it will something you dread doing.
I'm not in great shape even though I am, and when I think about what's wrong, it comes down to this. Girls are usually feminine and men are dominant. But since I am feminine, I am a virgin and have not had a girlfriend for years. I know that dominant men are more attractive so I want to be dominant. I also think that dominant people can stand stronger in life.
Hey, if you want to develop yourself to become more dominant, more power to you. 💪 What do you mean about you’re not in great shape but you are? Getting your fitness in order is a great start. A great resource for this is the podcast Mind Pump, 4 professional trainers and business owners who debunk fitness myths and help people get real results. For your mental strength and mentality, I’d read Relentless by Tim Grover and The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida. For game, I’d check out content from Casey Zander and Elliot Hulse. For business (if you want to become a business guy) Alex Hormozi has some really great content. He makes 100M a year and his YouTube channel and his business is all about helping other businesses grow. He takes a no BS approach. If you’re not going to pursue the business route and want to be work a high-paying job, then you should consume books and content on the subject you want to master. Robert Greene’s book, Mastery covers things like this (but so does Relentless and Tim Grover’s other book, Winning). If you want to become dominant. Truly dominant. Then you’re going to need to put in the work to truly be dominant in every area of your life. If it’s truly your true identity (if you don’t want to be a poser or faker) than it’s going to take real work. Commit to becoming the strongest and most dominant version of yourself. Strong physically, strong mentally, strong emotionally. Become dominant in your fitness, your career, your relationships, your LIFE. Then, when you effortlessly just exude dominance because it’s really a true part of who you are and who you’ve become, attracting women becomes effortless. Women have a tendency to be hypergamous, to want to date men who are at the top of their game, who have their sh*t together. You can aim to enter the top 20% of men, then the top 10% of men, then the top 5% of men, then the top 1% of men.
Go to the gym, be more active, challenge yourself and allow yourself to get angry and frustrated... Then mature, learn control, know yourself when it comes to what you can and what you can't do. Realize your worth and make demands of romantic partner (s).