How do I ask my boyfriend to spank me?

I want my boyfriend to spank me as foreplay and for discipline. I want him to be dominant but I don't want to tell him what to do, so how would I go about getting him to spank me. He has playfully swatted my ass a few times but that was it, how do I get him to do more?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • This is a three step process. Do this away from the sex, maybe over an intimate drink.
    1) Tell him you want him to dominate physically: roughly and forcefully
    2) Set up two safe words: one to signal that you're okay but need him to not escalate for a minute while you adjust (Mercy works well for us) and one that tells him to stop immediately so you can talk about it (We use Red Light). You agree to not use them unless you absolutely need to and he agrees to honor them. Having safe words protects you and lets him know he can do what he wants with and to you unless he hears a safe word. You can kick your feet and struggle (both very erotic) and cry out no and stop and he'll know that if he doesn't hear a safe word, he can just keep on setting that cute ass of yours on fire.
    3) Shoot your mouth off and when he gets pissed, ask him, "Whatta you gonna do, spank me?"

    Mixing foreplay and discipline can be tricky. I'd suggest you buy him a special thicker paddle that he only uses for discipline and agree that safe words are off. Tell him explicitly that you're consenting (use that word) to giving him discretion on when, where, how, and how severely you get disciplined.

    Also tell him you'll groom and dress the way he wants for sex. I love my lady waxed bare and in a little, tine G-string and Come Fuck Me shoes, stiletto pumps with at least a 4" heel and no platform. Sexyshoes. com is a great, economical source.

    When he treats you the way you want, make sure, once the scene is fully over, that you appreciate the hell out him being your rough brute of a lover or whatever words you want to use. Men can get enough appreciation.

    Let me know how it goes. Feel free to message me with any questions or put them here. If you want to try anal but aren't experienced, there's a guide on my Takes that may help.

    • Thanks for the MHO. Has he reddened that sassy, naughty bottom of yours yet?

    • Did you get the spanking you wanted?

  • Best time is to say it when you both are aroused after some amount of foreplay, that gives you the license and freedom to say lustily that you want him to become a bit more naughty and spank your ass... and am sure he won't mind it that time and most probably oblige to it

Most Helpful Girl

  • Next time he swats, say something like, was that for being naughty, if it was you may need to hit harder. (Helps if you also raise your eyebrow and bite your lip.)

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Start it as sweet and innocent then escalated by asking him to spank you harder... there's no way he won't do it the way you want unless you tell him what you want... guys aren't psychics

  • I've been really naughty, I need a spanking.

    • Works every time.

  • Tell him you've been so naughty and bite your lip and pretend to look scared asking if he's going to spank you very hard or only a little?

  • You do need to tell him you want him to be dominant. Unless we know specifically what you want, we'll do what we think we should.

    I'd present him with the light spanking as foreplay first. Once he's comfortable with that, you can see about the harder disciplinary ones.

  • Telling him you like it ahead of time is the best way in my opinion. I'm not sure how else.