How do I change my opinions on dating bisexual men?

[Anonymous]

I myself am a bi woman but I like men to be men and women to be woman that's what I'm attracted too. I like feminine woman and masculine men.

But I can't wrap my head around being with a bi man as hypocritical and homoeopathic as this may sound. I like all men in themselves and I'm friends with all different kinds of men but in the bedroom I find bi men very unattractive.

Like when I'm with a man I want him to make me female like a woman and to dominate me but there nothing more off putting to me knowing he's been with another man and more than likely been the submissive one before.

a lot of bi men I've personally met are kinda abit too camp for my liking to. Plus I just find anal so repulsive I wouldn't want to be with a man whose had his dick up you now were or had a dick up his you now were.

When I'm with a woman it feels hot and sexy and we know how to make each other feel good and straight men tend to find that hot too.

I've been in group situations before with multiple men and women but as soon as I see two men doing it I find it really uncomfortable and awkward.

I got asked out by a bi male the other day and he was really sweet and kind about the whole thing but also very persistent. I told him I wasn't sure if I was ready for a serious relationship yet but he kept telling me he really liked me and that I was the first girl he'd really liked in a long time which just put me off more. If I'm totally honest this kinda gave me in the closet vibes like that he was actually just gay and was saying he was bi because he was still figuring himself out.

I felt horrible for rejecting him because before when I thought he was straight I was game for it because he is a great guy but as soon as he told me he'd been with men I kinda freaked out. Hopefully one day he finds someone who will accept him for that but with me I just can't

[Anonymous]

Does it also put you off to be with other bi women, who likely had sex with men before and maybe even anal with men before? Ik the question is about bi men sorry, I'm just curious, since it seems like this would be the same problem with anyone who had a dick in them before.

As far as an answer, if you want to change how you see bi men—you don't have to— it may be a good idea to break down how you see men and women and sex in general. You seem to have a very strict binary type of view, men and manliness having to be very extreme and never have things in common with women or womanliness, and vice versa. And sex, as an extention, must be the same—woman always submissive, man always dominant.

If you don't want to see bi men as less manly (which seems to be why you're turned off by them), then you'll have to start with understanding how you see "manly" and "womanly", and why. Then, consider how other people (such as bi men) see manliness and womanliness, and why. See if you can find some new perspective, and maybe be able to soften or change your more strict definitions.

You may not be able to and that's fine. You may be able to but then still not like bi men, for some other/deeper reason after all. That's fine too. You don't have to like bi men or women just bc you are bi. It is good to try and understand why you like/dislike what you do tho, so good for you for exploring that.

[Ozanne]

You don't owe anyone an explanation for your preferences. If you're not comfortable with ANYone and don't want to be sexually involved with them, then that's your choice, and no one should make you feel as though you need to be. You being bisexual is not hypocritical if you choose not to have sex with bisexual men. That's not how it works. You are wired to enjoy both sex and romance with each gender, and that's just how it is. But no one said it must include absolutely every man or woman under the sun, and never to consider what is comfortable for you. We all have our types and many tend to be careful when it comes to sex and looking ahead to our future, and these are things not to take lightly. Don't date someone simply because someone is pressuring you to get out of your preferences. That's not for them to decide. It's for you to feel comfortable with.

[Anonymous]

You shouldn't feel bad for that. You have to be honest with yourself about what matters to you, because it's all that matters.

But I hope you are also honest and upfront about being bi with the guys you date. I won't date bi women because I've done it twice and been cheated on (with other women) both times. And both basically said they didn't feel it was really cheating because it wasn't with a man. I don't want to be with a woman again whose sexual needs I as a man cannot 100% satisfy.

[Anonymous]

Seems like you are leaning more to girls than guys.
As a bi guy myself, I'm not at all interested in fuck or getting fucked by another guy, I'm not feminine, all what I like to do with other guys are Blowjobs and Handjobs.
My point is, not all bi guys are the same, you can't judge a guy just because he told you, you are the first girl he liked in a while, that should make you feel special, not put you off.

[shades777]

good for you? is this a rant

[Anonymous]

Why do you feel you need to change your opinions about them? There is no "hypocrisy" when it comes to attraction, preferences, and what turns you on or doesn't. If you look at logically, yeah it's hipocritical, but sexual attraction and preferences are not logical.

[Anonymous]

I could understand that, you’re probably submissive and it works for you in both situations so you only want a straight guy, fortunately for you there are plenty of us straight guys who are single so you don’t have to worry about a shortage. I can never tell if a guy is bi but I can always tell if they are gay

[Anonymous]

Really. yoi can't you know what you like and you love it!

Really I'm the same 😉

It is just what we like we don't hate those people we just don't prefer them!

When I'm with a man I wanna be treated as a sexy women and him being confident. When I'm with a woman as you said...

Bi men are just not confident and as good in bed. Some normal ones are also but a real man will take me make me want him and I love how they wanna...

Why do you wanna change who you are for others sake? The sex won't change?