How do I deal with my girlfriend trying to control how I express myself sexually?

[Anonymous]

Last night, I was talking with my girlfriend on the phone and she asked me if I masturbated. I didn't want to answer, but then she scolded me by saying that if we're not being honest with one another, then this relationship can't go any further. So, I decided to tell her the truth that I do, but since I've been dating her, I've only masturbated once and it was to her.

She thanked me for being honest, but told me that I shouldn't do it anymore. She only wants me to have sex with her after marriage. She even went on to say that if she goes on a girls' trip or something while we're married, I can't masturbate to her while I'm gone or even have sex with other women. Her words: "No Thotianas coming to my house and you not going to see any Thotianas at their house."

I told her from the beginning that I'm faithful and if we're together, I'm not going to cheat. Why would she bring this up? How should I handle her future sex questions?

[TonyV]

Booooo, fuck that, I'm not waiting till marriage for 1, and I have mo time for a girl that's gonna try to tell me I can't masturbate. I'll masturbaye whenever I want, what is she gonna fuck at a moment's notice whenever you tell her too? I doubt it.

Plus that thotiana word, I've seen that YouTube, she is a fucking idiot full of stupid ideas, she thinks what makes a good women is a woman who is career oriented, all she cares about is work not being fun or having a good personality.
So any girl that would quote her unironically is a no cause that's a huge redflag.

[Nalix]

You might not be sexually compatible. That depends on what you can both agree with. She wants you to wait? That's fine, and it's fine if you want to as well. But she's right, you need to communicate more. Tell her about your sexual fantasies, get her to tell you yours. Push it to it's breaking point, if there is one. Best to get all that out into the air now, even if it ends the relationship.

[Asker]

I told her my fantasies, she hinted at potentially indulging in one of them on a future anniversary. Smh

[loves2learn]

I hate questions like that. It’s a trap and a guilt trip. She sounds quite controlling.


It’s normal for men and women in and out of relationships to masturbate.

[Andres77]

Smart girl... listen to her!

[Agape93]

Set your boundaries and don’t allow her to cross it.

[AustinMan]

Oh man!!! Are you familiar with the acronym PW?

[Asker]

Pussy whipped? Lmao

[AustinMan]

Exactly!! I know there's some risk but unless you're willing to let her push you around forever, it's time to man up and set her straight. I'm really kinky so my first move in a situation like this is to yank her over my knee and give her a long, hot, painful bare bottom spanking whilst lecturing her on who's the dominant one here.

[loves2learn]

FTR I would hate what @austinman just described. I like my man to take control during sex but no pain and no spanking for me.

[AustinMan]

@loves2learn Understood. It's been my experience that most women find, with the right introduction, that they enjoy some level of erotic pain at the hand of their dominant man.

[loves2learn]

More power to you @austinman. I’m glad you and your ladies enjoy it. :)

[Little_Bumblebee]

Personally, I would stand my ground on that, because it's really controlling and that's not a good sign.

If she couldn't accept it then I would leave, because that would not be something I want to be a part of.

[OlderThanILook]

Bruh. Masturbate if you want to. You don't have to listen to that shit. It's one thing to say that you can't watch porn, right? That's understandable, even if not everyone agrees with it. But to say you can't masturbate is ridiculous, ESPECIALLY if she's not having sex with you. That's one of the things I'd just leave the relationship over.

[Andres77]

Run!!!
Run for your life!
I married that same controlling bitch when I was just desperate for someone to love me.
Fuuuuuuuck no.