How do I get my boyfriend to dominate me in bed?

I am a definite sub. I don't necessarily like BDSM, but I like being dominated, spanked, choked etc. My boyfriend is on the dom side of the spectre, but isn't as kinky as I am and I often have to tell him what to do instead of him doing it spontaneously. How do I get him to treat me like his slut?
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Most Helpful Girls

  • Start slow with him. Talk about what you want and make clear that it's something you're always more interested in having done to you than not. Do the easy stuff first, i. e. light choking and spanking.
    Tell him that you don't want him to ask before doing it, but once he's doing it, he can ask if that's okay. It opens him up to the idea that it shouldn't be something you specifically ask for. After a little bit of this, ask him to gauge your reaction to his actions instead of asking if it's okay. For example, if he starts choking you and thinks you look interested, he should keep choking you instead of asking if you like it or not. When you reach that second step, introduce a "safe word" or something you can use to make him stop if he incorrectly gauges your interest in his actions.

    Past these introductory steps, I'm not sure. I think you'll be able to figure it out together from there, though, provided they work. Good luck! Also ask him to be completely honest with you about how he feels dominating you. Some men have dominant personalities, but physical dominance makes them uncomfortable. That could be the case. You also don't want him to do anything that makes him upset.

  • I love these fake pink accounts asking these weird sex questions. Using a hot babe as your profile pic is a dead giveaway. Someone needs a hobby or something.

    How do I get my boyfriend to dominate me in bed?
    • You clearly have a problem with your own self. Attacking another female for no reason is such a disgusting thing to do today when we need each other the most. Ugh.

    • Also, thanks, I AM a hot babe.

    • Please, if you were hot you wouldn't be on this site you would be on Instagram and Tinder.

    • Show All

Most Helpful Guys

  • Communicate that with him. Maybe he's just to shy or awkward? If a woman told me that I'd def be like ok! Then I'd research and buy things and then tie her down to the bed. Blindfold her and rub her down with massage oil while I eat her out, use toys on her and make her suck my dick and tell me to fuck her hard now! Bit you might have to communicate that and tell him your fantasies and what you are looking for. Communication is so important and we dont know each others limits or fun fantasies or might be nervous about them until we ask. Maybe make a game or a sex coupon book or something and have that in there and pull it out?

  • he's probably worried about crossing a line with you. Talk with him about it and just tell him what is not acceptable tell him where the line is and hell feel better about not crossing it.

    Ask him why he doesn't dom you. Ask why he doesn't pull your hair or choke or spank you etc. If you know why he doesn't do it it may be easier to make him more comfortable trying it.

    Also ask him about his dominate fantasies ask him if there are dominant acts that he wants to try.

    It's hard to be spontaneous when you are worried if they will like it or not so maybe a safe word would help.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • It is ok to talk about sex after all. Just tell him what your likes are and promise him the best orgasms he will ever have if he follows through on your requests. Have fun!

  • Hint it. Ask him questions about BDSM.
    Like, 'what do you think about xyz act?'

  • You should probably tease him and deny him sex next time; this will force him to be more aggressive.

  • Since discussing your desires didn't work, try the gradual approach with a reversal. Blindfold him, and exite him but take it easy. When (if?) he sees how nice it is, he may understand and do that to you next time. He's start experimenting after that.
    Good luck, and remember...

    How do I get my boyfriend to dominate me in bed?
  • Start a fight

  • Choking and spanking are pretty tame. If he's not really into that, maybe he's not a dom. If you've already told him what you like and he still doesn't take the initiative, not really much you can do other than what you're already doing.

  • On your knees, hands behind your back, mouth open wide, tongue out and let him throat f**k you. That's what I do to dominate hot chicks

  • By telling him an if he will not do so to make u happy then u need to realize that he might not have it in him so then ask your self are u willing to give that part of your self up?
    If not then u will need to find another one.
    God Bless

  • We just had 3+ years of #metoo. Good luck getting men to be dominant in anything with a female. How would you defend that, if you changed your mind?

    • Well, some boundaries exist.

    • Lol yeah i can see telling the state attorneys that “but she didn’t use the safe word”. Lol nope!

  • make him mad before sex

  • If I was him, I'd undress you, tie your arms above your head, spank your ass hard, stimulate every sensitive spot in your body and focus on your clit till I make you beg me to fuck you, then I'll start fucking your brains out till you cum so hard.

  • He may need to educate himself on some tricks of the trade for dominating. Try that, then go from there.

  • It did be natural for me to dominate looking at you tbh.. I don't know why he doesn't..

    • Try being a slut around him whenever u r horny i guess.. and tell him exactly that..

  • Maybe bring up kinks and just slide it into that conversation. If he's on the dom side it should be enough

  • Just tell him till he gets it

  • I can show you and you can show him 😂

  • I would marry you

  • It's all about communication, if you want him to be rougher, you have to let him know that clearly, it's also important to keep in mind that not everyone will be as comfortable with s/m as you. Finding the right balance between two partners' needs can be tricky, but it's possible. Good luck!

  • Say clearly what you need and see how he responds but you can't force it on him.

  • If he's not into that. Then i don't think he ever will be.

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