How do I get over this?

[Anonymous]

Today, I hate my life.

I can't fully tell why. It wasn't like this before... I was very driven, very passionate, and very dedicated towards bettering myself in my teens and 20s.

I am in my mid-30s and everyday I just hate life. I think it has become even much more so in the last few months. I have given up on working out, most of my day is spent watching at porn (I am a software engineer and my job is remote).

This whole downward spiral has also brought forth past trauma from my mid-20s and has sucked me lower.

I used to have such a great life before... friends, exciting moments, life continuously evolving. Now it feels like I have left months and even years pass me by and I am just stuck. I don't want to live this way.

I think I really need some friends to help me get out of this. I think its my past trauma that has created a mental barrier for me to not move past it.

Can anyone related and share?

[Anonymous]

It sounds like you're going through a difficult time dealing with past trauma and negative thoughts. A few things that may help:

1) Seek professional help. A therapist can help you work through your trauma and develop coping skills for negative thoughts. Don't try to battle this alone.

2) Make lifestyle changes. Start by making small, manageable changes like going for a short walk daily, eating a little healthier, meditating for 5 minutes. Build up from there. These can boost your mood and motivation.

3) Reconnect with friends. Social support is so important, even just chatting or grabbing a quick coffee. Tell a trusted friend what you're going through and ask if they can check in on you.

4) Set small, achievable goals each day. Crossing things off your to-do list, no matter how small, can give you a sense of progress and accomplishment.
Start with something like, "Make my bed" or "Take a shower."

5) Limit distractions like porn and social media that suck up your time and energy. Focus on productive activities instead that match your values and goals.

6) Focus on self-compassion. Be kind and patient with yourself as you work through this. You've gotten through tough times before - you can do it again.

7) Write down reasons you want to change. Keep this list handy for motivation on hard days. Visualize the life you want to be living.

You've recognized there's an issue and you want things to improve. That self-awareness is the first huge step. With small changes, professional help and social support, you can get your life and motivation back. You've got this - I wish you all the best moving forward.

sounds like you're going through a difficult time dealing with past trauma and negative thoughts. A few things that may help:

1) Seek professional help. A therapist can help you work through your trauma and develop coping skills for negative thoughts. Don't try to battle this alone.

2) Make lifestyle changes. Start by making small, manageable changes like going for a short walk daily, eating a little healthier, meditating for 5 minutes. Build up from there. These can boost your mood and motivation.

3) Reconnect with friends. Social support is so important, even just chatting or grabbing a quick coffee. Tell a trusted friend what you're going through and ask if they can check in on you.

4) Set small, achievable goals each day. Crossing things off your to-do list, no matter how small, can give you a sense of progress and accomplishment.
Start with something like, "Make my bed" or "Take a shower."

5) Limit distractions like porn and social media that suck up your time and energy. Focus on productive activities instead that match your values and goals.

6) Focus on self-compassion. Be kind and patient with yourself as you work through this. You've gotten through tough times before - you can do it again.

7) Write down reasons you want to change. Keep this list handy for motivation on hard days. Visualize the life you want to be living.

You've recognized there's an issue and you want things to improve. That self-awareness is the first huge step. With small changes, professional help and social support, you can get your life and motivation back. You've got this - I wish you all the best moving forward.

sounds like you're going through a difficult time dealing with past trauma and negative thoughts. A few things that may help:

1) Seek professional help. A therapist can help you work through your trauma and develop coping skills for negative thoughts. Don't try to battle this alone.

2) Make lifestyle changes. Start by making small, manageable changes like going for a short walk daily, eating a little healthier, meditating for 5 minutes. Build up from there. These can boost your mood and motivation.

3) Reconnect with friends. Social support is so important, even just chatting or grabbing a quick coffee. Tell a trusted friend what you're going through and ask if they can check in on you.

4) Set small, achievable goals each day. Crossing things off your to-do list, no matter how small, can give you a sense of progress and accomplishment.
Start with something like, "Make my bed" or "Take a shower."

5) Limit distractions like porn and social media that suck up your time and energy. Focus on productive activities instead that match your values and goals.

6) Focus on self-compassion. Be kind and patient with yourself as you work through this. You've gotten through tough times before - you can do it again.

7) Write down reasons you want to change. Keep this list handy for motivation on hard days. Visualize the life you want to be living.

You've recognized there's an issue and you want things to improve. That self-awareness is the first huge step. With small changes, professional help and social support, you can get your life and motivation back. You've got this - I wish you all the best moving forward.

[Anonymous]

Meditation and exercise helps me get out of my mind. ﾠ

[Oliverlogan263]

It sounds like you're going through a difficult time dealing with past trauma and negative thoughts. A few things that may help:

1) Seek professional help. A therapist can help you work through your trauma and develop coping skills for negative thoughts. Don't try to battle this alone.

2) Make lifestyle changes. Start by making small, manageable changes like going for a short walk daily, eating a little healthier, meditating for 5 minutes. Build up from there. These can boost your mood and motivation.

3) Reconnect with friends. Social support is so important, even just chatting or grabbing a quick coffee. Tell a trusted friend what you're going through and ask if they can check in on you.

4) Set small, achievable goals each day. Crossing things off your to-do list, no matter how small, can give you a sense of progress and accomplishment.
Start with something like, "Make my bed" or "Take a shower."

5) Limit distractions like porn and social media that suck up your time and energy. Focus on productive activities instead that match your values and goals.

6) Focus on self-compassion. Be kind and patient with yourself as you work through this. You've gotten through tough times before - you can do it again.

7) Write down reasons you want to change. Keep this list handy for motivation on hard days. Visualize the life you want to be living.

You've recognized there's an issue and you want things to improve. That self-awareness is the first huge step. With small changes, professional help and social support, you can get your life and motivation back. You've got this - I wish you all the best moving forward.

[MatthewA]

You seem damaged and confused on where your going. Maybe you question your purpose, uncertain on what life truly is. Your subconscious mind doesn’t know right from wrong it only knows what you tell it. You’ve been feeding your subconscious with negative energy and it has resulted in a poor mindset. Their is much joy in life, find beauty in the little things. Be kind and kindness will come. The more you fill your inner self with positive energy thinking and acting it will become natural. Your mind is a very powerful thing , you struggle more in your imagination then in reality. Shape your reality, tell yourself that your capable of happiness, you deserve abundance and feel it within you as if it’s already happened. I’d recommend researching stoicism and the law of attraction. There are great philosophers that have been in the same position you are and have changed their mindset. If it’s worked for them and many others , it’s worth trying out. ❣️

[MikeTheBartender]

I feel the same way often, you have to get back into the gym. Fitness helps me more than anything w depression. also you need to see people in person, can you work from a cafe? Here's another thing that helps, sunlight. Move your computer to a window take walks etc. Get a dog? Read my profile I cover my porn story, keep watching for now but once women are back in your life leave that shit behind.

[RealMarek]

Recovering from this will take time and effort. There is no better time to start than right now. Stop the porn addiction. It is possible. You try, fail, and try again. It can really mess up a man’s ability to relate to real women or to have motivation. Try going for a walk every day. Notice whatever natural beauty you see around you. Eventually, start exercising more vigorously again. Treat yourself well: eat well, take a bath at the end of the day to relax. Eventually, try finding a hobby.

It’s not easy to find friends, but you have to get around people to have a chance. You can do volunteer work to meet people. If you have religious belief you can find a church.

I don’t know if you are single and isolated. If you want a relationship, once you get yourself on your feet you can find a suitable match. There are a lot of women your age or a bit younger who just want a stable, kind man in their lives.

[gorydetails]

You know what you have to do. Get off the porn, get outside, start working out. Start doing things to get you around other people. Join clubs, a running group, whatever. Start eating healthy. Start connecting with family and friends. Unfortunately a lot of this is the result of working remotely.

[Anonymous]

Let's get this over with
Come to the army , let's die sooner !