How do I go about initiating a friends with benefits situation with a guy?

[arsonMouse]

I just recently started having sex a month or so ago. The guy I was initially hooking up with is no longer an option, but I don't want to just... stop having sex. Lol
I'm not really in a position to put time into an actual relationship, and there's no one I know that I have romantic feelings for anyway. I also don't want to start hooking up with strangers (I'm not like, morally against it. I'm just a newb and would prefer someone I know and trust).
One of my best friends is a guy I've known since 3rd grade. He is age appropriate, super chill, cute, and he's got some nice "equipment" downstairs (I happened to catch a peak once when he went skinny dipping with a bunch of our friends).
How do I approach him with the idea of becoming friends with benefits? I don't want to mess up our friendship, but he's really the best candidate around.

[Avcfhcic]

If you're hot, it's a lot more likely. And if he's single, even more likely.
Teens are very horny and if you get on well, then it could be a win win. Just go and talk to him about it, he'll love that part and it won't make things awkward if he says no, it's always worse if the guy approaches the girl, it's easier for girls to have sex than guys.
Go for it! Hope it goes well

[arsonMouse]

He's definitely single. I'm not sure if I'm hot or not. I'm not good at looking critcally at my appearance like that. I think I'm at least cute? Lol

[Avcfhcic]

Well it isn't too important, sometimes sex is sex, doesn't matter about looks it's the connection between you. And you seem to have good foundations!

[arsonMouse]

In this case I would really prefer for sex to just be sex. I don't want, nor do I need, anything more to it. Haha

[Avcfhcic]

Yeah but having a connection makes sex better than just sex. Since you get on well, you can trust each other and also explore

[arsonMouse]

Oh yeah I get that. Which is why I didn't just want random stranger hookups. Haha

[Avcfhcic]

Go ahead and ask him! Like I said, it's easier for you to ask him than him ask you!! Let me know how it goes!

[SnowedIn]

Find a time when you can ask him. I'd be straight up with him. Don't make a production. And nothing about just needing someone or anything like that. Just simple. "Hey, what would think about being friends with benefits?" And then go from there.

Your other option is take him out some night and then have sex with him and that opens up the conversation: "I'd like to do this again sometime ".

[arsonMouse]

Lol I'm like, brand new to the world of sex. Suggesting I "just have sex with him" only leaves me wondering "but how?" XD

[SnowedIn]

Totally legit. Assuming you have somewhere safe to do this, invite him there. "Let's go to...". Then start kissing him. Remove a piece of your or his clothing. Go from there. Please make sure you have a condom or more in case he isn't prepared!

[arsonMouse]

Oh geez... I don't know if I could do that. I'd probably freeze up midway through the attempt. XD

[SnowedIn]

That's fair too. 🙂 I have faith in you. In that case, seriously, spend time with him. Get comfortable with him. And then one of you can make that first move. He will love it if you did, to be honest.

[arsonMouse]

We're already pretty comfortable around each other. Which I think is part of the problem. We're already so set in the "just good pals" mode I don't know how to break out of it. Lol

[SnowedIn]

It's like Nike: just do it! 😂 Not trying to make light of it. But, start with the kiss.

[arsonMouse]

Gah. Lol

[SnowedIn]

Lmao. You've got this. It's like the prize at the bottom of the cereal box: you can do it!

[arsonMouse]

Well he may be coming over tonight. So it might be happening a lot sooner than I anticipated... lol

[SnowedIn]

Oh awesome! Best of luck! Regarding your update: who is Dan?

[arsonMouse]

Dan2929292929 He posted another reply. Called me a whore and got upset when he didn't get a ride out of me so he blocked me. Lol

[SnowedIn]

You're the better person on that one. Well played.

[arsonMouse]

Thank you! Lol

[Reece12345]

I keep hearing about this guy on multiple posts. Like he's a hateful, lowlife hypocrite? And in answer to your question, no need to move so fast (as in initiating sex). Maybe just when you're sharing a laugh put your hand on his knee or thigh and keep it there longer than usual. This may be a good way to start off?

[SnowedIn]

@arsonMouse... how did it go? (no, not that!!!) ;) ... talking with him?

[arsonMouse]

@SnowedIn it went well! Don't really feel like giving all the details on a public opinion. Lol Feel free to pm me if you're interested, but otherwise yeah it went well!

[Gent207-2]

No judgement just facts

1.) Once you have sex it's VERY difficult to go back to being just friends. Note not impossible just difficult. Plus it adds a layer of complication if you ever do become romantically involved with someone else. As well as the risk in catching feelings.

But I digress

2.) Honest and straight just make sure he doesn't have alive interest first and then ask

[Kaneki05]

Just gotta ask it. Not a really a big deal if the girl is doing the asking. Because he's not gonna get creeped out by it or anything it will just be a simple yes or no, or I will think about it.

[arsonMouse]

I just don't know how to ask him. How to bring it up. That's my problem.

[Kaneki05]

Easy. "You wanna have sex?" or any other variation one asks such question.

[Summeroflove]

Don’t. Just don’t

[bowenw]

You could broach the subject by asking him if he's ever considered having a friend with benefits and see how he reacts.

[arsonMouse]

That could be a good starter. Ask him his opinion and use it to guage how I proceed.

[bowenw]

That is exactly what I was thinking. Please feel free to PM if you wish.

[arsonMouse]

Uh I don't think I'm able to at my level. I just made this account like a week ago. Haha

[ArtemisSilver]

You go on tinder...

[JPresidente]

Ask him to lunch and tell him your story about the other guy and see if he gets the hint.

[arsonMouse]

Ehhhh I don't want to bring up my past experience before he and I have even done anything.

[JPresidente]

Then you could try a different approach. Tell him it’s tough being single these days. That everyone needs some TLC every now and then. Then you could go from there and see if he catches on.

[Stevefiveo]

Invite him over. Dress sexy. Make your move and seduce him. When he asks for a second time, just explain the situation. Good luck.

[motownplayer2000]

Find someone and say I want to be friends with benefits with you. I’m sure if you are straight forward with it, you will find that guy instantly.

[Twalli]

It will alter your friendship. Just ask if he wants to.

[Charliefretz329]

Just be honest with him. But it’s hard for some people to not catch feelings…


You’re probably better off finding a friend outside your normal circle to do that though

[Charliefretz329]

I know ladies who swear by married men for truly friends with benefits stuff since they’re least likely to want more than sex. No judgment either way though just that I hear they are “safe”…