How do I let know my husband that I don’t want to have sex with him anymore?

Question

Hey! so I took the decision of not having more sex, anyway me and my husband we only have sex 1 time every 3 months, but he hate the fact of not being able to completely not have sex, and I’m in a spiritual path now, I’m going to practice celibacy and I need to know how do I tell him about this without him getting angry like always, is not that he is angry about me not having sex with him, is just that he wants to control me like always, so he is always against every decision that I want.
he got surgery last month and they even told him that he have to wait 1 year to have sex, for me was a good thing that happening but he is trying to go against it.

Miristheiss · Accepted Answer

Well, what is going on?
First SPIRITUAL PATH... CELIBACY... NO. If you are single sure... sex is part of marriage so there is nothing SPIRITUAL about it.

"Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.
Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your lack of self-control."

Now, back to what is going on?
Is he physically unappealing to you now? Has he let himself go and gotten out of shape... fat? Is he not romantic with you and he doesn't connect with you to where you don't feel close to him? You've got to pinpoint what is going on and tell him about it.
If you are just done with sex then tell him. He may want out of the marriage if he knows this is permanent and will not change. The spiritual celibacy while married is a crock. Don't waste our time with that bs. If you want that then divorce, you shouldn't be married.

noamazia · Accepted Answer

tell him that if he wants to have sex then he can go get a sex friend.
i mean it is the decent thing to do in your case since you can't expect him to agree to be celibate with you. other than that. you don't really owe him your health/spirituality to satisfy him.

BirdieBeep · Accepted Answer

I think you both need to sit down and have a talk regarding your marriage and what you both want/expect from this relationship. I know marriage is of course about way more than sex, but what does that mean for the two of you? You don't want any sexual intimacy. Obviously that means you won't be having children. Or do you already have children together? Is there any romance left at all in your relationship? Is there any companionship you get from one another beyond just friendship or being roommates Perhaps you are just not looking for the same in the relationship. Especially if you want to take time to focus on yourself and your spirituality - it sounds to me like your path in life right now may simply have no room for a romantic relationship. And it's okay to admit that and decide whether the relationship is worth compromises for either of you, or not.

JessicaEarl · Accepted Answer

A marriage without intimacy has no romance. A marriage without romance is a living arrangement. I don’t know what path you’re on, but all the belief systems that I’m familiar with that celebrate celibacy don’t do it in marriage. Either live marriage to the fullest like your partner deserves, or end it. You are literally ruining the life you made together. You are taking the future that you promised him with your vows. Instead of accusations of control, try for five seconds to look at things from his point of view and think about how your actions are making large, real, powerful changes in his life.

MrNameless · Answer

are you okay if he has sex with other women then?

Киттйлинк · Answer

so why don't you divorce him so he can find someone else to make love to your weirdo.

Honesttguy · Answer

Its not your choice to make, you will just have to have sex with him as part of job description thats all. Hey its just 1 tims every 3 month no biggie thats ehat 4 times a year pshh, why u even complaining here.

ohshee · Answer

Well before you start with all the above take one day and give him a years full how ever long it takes him. So do him 4 time and you got your year

Adam1978 · Answer

Stop dragging him down with you. Get a divorce and let him find someone new to have sex with and have a good relationship with. Don't be so selfish. That or do your duties you sign up for with the marriage. Ie love him and care for him and have sex with him.

DonkeyDan · Answer

I suggest you offer him a divorce so he can go on with his life and you can follow your path.

Dargil · Answer

Explain this as diplomatically as possible and offer him a "hall pass". You won't be the first.

TheMajesticKing777 · Answer

You gotta tell him not ask him, you gotta say it like he has no choice cause he really shouldn't, just tell him that you are going to do this, not if it would bother him if you do this. I don't know how this is gonna play out but at your own risk.

Drumlin2001 · Answer

Geez, what surgery rules out sex for a year?

ragooo8 · Answer

Sounds like he will want a divorce or to have sex with other women.

Wise4myage · Answer

By filing for divorce.

jahaims · Answer

You're a troll or a nut job

888theGreat · Answer

You are violating your vows if you really are married. He has the right to divorce you and get all the assets. You could be alone out on your ass broke. .