How do I tell my boyfriend that I've been faking orgasms?

[Anonymous]

Important thing to know, I am 32 years old and I never reached an orgasm during penetration, with anyone. Not even from masturbating; I tried a lot of times with lots of different toys and it does nothing to me. So when I masturbate I just focus on my clitoris.
Anyway, I've been with many guys throughout my life (long-term relationships as well as one night stands and casual hookups, I've done it all) so it's not them. I also went to therapy (didn't help) and I accepted the fact that my vagina is just not made for penetration orgasm. I still enjoy penetration sex with someone I'm attraction to and care about, it's as good as orgasm itself (just the passion, the intimacy, his orgasm, etc. etc.) and it's still pretty damn good and easy to make me climax with oral or fingering (it's not that I end up unsatisfied). I am happy with that.
Now I've been dating my new boyfriend for about 3 months and things are great. But of course I am not climaxing from penetration (as expected) and it's going on the same way it went with every ex - I fake it. The reason I fake it is because I get tired and kind of bored if it goes on for too long. I see him enjoying so much and making effort not to cum (probably because he is waiting for me to cum and thinks that if he keeps pounding for long enough it'll happen). But since I know it's not going to happen I just "end it" with fakeness.
Even though I honestly don't see anything wrong in it from a sexual point of view, I do however think that it's a form of lying. He's the first man I want to be real with about this, but I'm afraid how he will feel about realizing that I was faking it all this time. And I'm pretty sure he will suggest to "fix" it and will now try even harder, but that's the last thing I need. I need him to just be okay with that and cum whenever he feels like cumming, not thinking about me at all. And then make me cum in other ways.

[SunnyFlorida]

First of all, there is nothing wrong with you and really no need for a therapist. Lots of women cannot have an orgasm through regular male/female intercourse sex. The male reproductive organ is good at delivering semen to the vagina, not creating female orgasms.

I suggest you buy a vibrator that can bring you to orgasm within about 2 minutes or less. Try the vibrator out to confirm it works in timely manner, then approach your man, saying that you would like to mix-up your sex routine. Then incorporate the vibrator in the routine. After your man has made you orgasm with the vibrator, then share that you never had an orgasm before through penetration, but show that he has the ability to create an orgasm... In this way, you are presenting the problem and solution at the same time. For some women, when they have an orgasm, their vaginas will appear to breath as the vagina muscles are pulsating. This can be interesting for a guy to see.

Oral sex can take too long for the first time, but you can work that into the routine as well. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

What's his personality? Do you think you could sit him down and be completely open and honest, just like you have here and tell him everything! Not just that you've been faking, but most importantly what YOU need from him. Personally I could handle that and would appreciate her being completely open and honest with me, and her happiness is extremely important to me, so I would totally want her to tell me this. But, not all guys are like me that way. If you don't think he could handle that, then maybe you need to come at it differently and perhaps a bit more subtly? Don't tell him you've NEVER orgasmed (it might just get his defenses up and then you won't get anywhere with him because he'll be angry/upset), but instead, starting with the next time you have sex, start talking to him and showing and teaching him what you want. "Take control" so to speak. If he starts to do his own thing, stop him and again tell him what you need/want. If he says something like "you've never wanted that before", then be honest, say you have but didn't speak up, now you are. Or, maybe you can sit him down and explain everything, and just leave out the part that you've never orgasmed before. That information is maybe irrelevant. Just tell him what you need and want.

[PrettyPriya]

I’m the same. I have to stimulate my clitoris or I don’t get them. So, what I do, is while I’m riding I rub my clit to orgasm. He can feel the pulsing like sensation on his penis and he knows I got off. Why don’t you try that instead of faking. No harm in pleasuring yourself while pleasuring him.

[lycanthrope3]

Dated several ladies like this, never took offense, helped when i could

[PrettyPriya]

@lycanthrope3 good boy! And good answer

[lycanthrope3]

@PrettyPriya actually was a turn on, made it more fun

[PrettyPriya]

Thank you for mhg 😘💕

[GentlemannJ]

Most women fake orgasms, and most men seem to be unaware of this. My ex-wife told me once that she had been faking them with a dozen sorrowful apologies. I didn't get mad and there wasn't any reason for her to apologize. I simply asked her what would give her an orgasm. What do you like? What should I do? Where is that sweet spot, so to speak? I asked her these types of questions and we worked on it. After some time and some practice I had no trouble satisfying her. Just tell him and see how he reacts.

[Tunasub]

Start by letting him know what he is doing right in the bedroom and slowly start talking about the things he can improve on leading up to how he can get you off, so you're telling him without actually telling all the while teaching him what to do so you don't have to tell him that he sucks in bed...

[Twalli]

Tell him that some girls never cum from penetration and nothing dime with penetration can change it.

[In_Trance]

jesus... that could be the dealbreaker. good luck

[Joker_]

He already knows

[MasterKS]

be honest!

[Anonymous]

My guess is, you lost your virginity in high school

[Anonymous]

I'd tell him it feels good when he penetrates you but you'd like try to reach a full intense orgasm. Try fingering yourself or using a small vibrator during sex to see if that helps. A few women I've been with finger themselves to reach orgasm. I find it's a turn on.

[Anonymous]

I have never understood why some women feel the need to lie about something so intimate, something in which trust should be paramount. What you have done is set yourself up to destroy any trust he had in you, and that will be very difficult, if not impossible, to rebuild.