How do I work with my fiance's Erectile Dysfunction?

I love my fiance and I can't wait to be his wife.

I am struggling with the lack of sex and the lack of desire he doesn't have for me. As much as I'm trying to be patient with this, I'm beginning to get rather bored and annoyed.

He has been given some tablets to take and has to go for more blood tests as his testosterone was low, but I'm furious at his lack of trying!

I'm desperate to have a sexual connection with him, to feel some bond or chemistry and it's not there anymore. It's getting hard to hang on and to not be frustrated.

Even when I suggest trying other things, he's so 'meh' about it. I dawn near begged for 1st base or oral and it's shut down.

I'm meant to be marrying this man, but I can't stand this feeling of rejected and desperately wanting to be wanted.

0 2

Superb Opinion

  • That is a really tough situation to be in. the answer is going to be to talk things out. tell him what you want and where your head is at. and please find out the same from him. you both need to understand what each other actually wants out of the relationship and whether or not it's worth continuing to pursue. it sounds like he may have a medical condition that is partially responsible for this issue. that's worth finding out more about.

    His apathy could also be related to the condition so while it is hard, try not to hold that against him too much until you have the complete story. and indeed, if he has a medical condition contributing to his lack of drive and initiative, you might have to be the one to take the reins for a while until you can get him the help he needs.

    if he gets on the meds and does everything he's supposed to do and the issue persists, it might be time to consider alternative sources of pleasure. If you're still comitted to the man that is. if you have needs, and you have both exhausted the means to have him meet them, but you still love each other and want to be together, it might be worth considering polyamory.

    I don't see much reason for him to really object. if your happiness and satisfaction are important to him that is, and he is unwilling or unable to give that to you. what really is so wrong about having that very basic need met elsewhere.

    If that is absolutely out of the question then that's fine too. but you have to face the fact that, that means either, you stay with each other anyway and end up bitter and miserable. and probably end up cheating anyway. or you have to face the reality that this might not be the man for you.

    Good Luck!

Most Helpful Guy

  • I have been EXACTLY where he is. Low “T” was the problem. Once I started on a treatment plan for that everything fell into place. My drive came back and I couldn’t believe that prior to getting help I didn’t want to be with my wife because to me she is a sexy and beautiful woman. Don’t take it personal but you’re going to have to get him to get treatment. Occasionally I will not get my injection on time and I can feel it dipping a little but it comes right back when I get caught up! It will take a few weeks to get his levels up though. Some clinics will even let you do your own injections for convenience but regular bloodwork is a must and several times a year he will need to “donate” blood to keep it from becoming too thick! Again it’s not you it’s him but it can be treated! I hope this helps you!

Most Helpful Girl

  • if he's 35 he probably needs ED treatment which is around $99 and testosterone (also around $99) for his lack of sex drive. many times the treatment involves clearing up tiny blood vessels with a kind of laser gun (or Viagra, which he would use when he wants to get hard). the blood vessels could be an early warning sign of heart disease, so he should get that checked too. the heart check is covered by insurance, ED usually is not

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What Girls & Guys Said

0 23
  • Sounds like you`r future hubby, has a couple of issues... One, either he has a "side pussy", and that can be, because you have been engaged for Too Long so he knows All of You... Or Two, he is in serious medical trouble that he is not in the mood, he cannot build his libido... So definitely need to look in these 2...

  • Admit it. He's not right for you. Move along before more time is wasted.

  • I think this is normal for you to feel this way, this has to be resolved before the wedding otherwise I don't think marriage is right for you two. Would end in a divorce.

  • Low testosterone affects both libido and stamina. He needs to go to an urologist and get a prescription or injections. As time passes he may have other medical issues that he refuses to treat like high blood pressure or heart issues that can reduce is life span and deny you a satisfying marriage. Take command and tell him, Fix it or I am gone.

    Then it's up to him.

  • The problem with this is that the low testosterone will make him less motivated to address it. Try to help him avoid processed foods, eat plenty of greens and red meat, and urge him to do weight training. These things can help. If he won’t work on it and won’t pleasure you in ways that he is able to, you need to consider whether you are willing to live in a sexless relationship.

  • Tell him as passionately as you shared it here.

  • Talk to him about it and tell him how you are feeling, and he needs to go get tests for his low T and address the problem.. also viagra will help him get hard as well

  • He needs to see a urologist. There may be a medical issue that can be treated.

  • It's something he as to want to try to fix. If he continues to show no interest or doing other things, you should probably consider moving on.

  • Looks like you were trying most things short of leaving that man.

    As soon as you mentioned he is not even attempting to address the issue, the message is clear. It will not change.

    Do not expect any sex from or with him.

  • First, rethink marriage. Sex is a vital component. Second, drag his ass to the doctor again and again and again! There are MANY things he could be doing to solve this. Third, is he on anti-depressant Rx? It is an ABSOLUTE libido killer. If yes it's up to him to fake it til he makes it and it's going to be difficult for him but he's gotta try Fourth, therapy - either solo or tandem or both. Good luck!!

  • Wish I could help you I love giving great oral.

  • Maybe you should not get married

  • The low testosterone explains all of that; if he can get his levels up, he will automatically be more interested in sex.

  • You are projecting your insecurities onto him.

  • Mant medications can cause this. Food too.

  • What do you mean he's not trying? Taking tablets and going for blood tests sounds like he's trying pretty bloody hard.

  • Could he be suffering from work related stress or depression perhaps. A couple of years back I was, and it affected my sex drive. I sought professional help and thankfully it helped so everything is OK now.

  • be practical, you get frustrated later.

  • At least he’s not 2 inches hard and prematurely cums every time like me because my ex and doctor made me take estrogen and I’m a man but sexually a boy I can’t please

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