A lot of women struggle with the "what do you want in bed" simply because female sexuality has often been designed to be passive, it is thought of as "to be desired, to be pleasured, to be acted upon." A lot of women aren't like men in that they have "visual fantasies" or they have specific "dirty phrases" they want to hear. So instead of treating female desire as the same as a man's desire, I would sort of figure out ways that you, as the male partner, the male actor, the lead, can come up with new "scenes" and create "new experiences" for her based off of the pornography you have seen and maybe liked or not liked.
You can sort of offer her a "buffet" of choices, and say, for the sake of experimentation, let's make a list of 8 things we can try. I will be gentle, and go slow, and you can keep telling me if it is, "okay" "feels good" "feels not good" or "I want more." The trick is to go slow, and more importantly to get her used to giving any feedback that gives a direction. Once she understands the correlation between "if I say this, my partner does this, and it feels good," she's gonna slowly develop that trust to gain that confidence in herself, sexually.
It sounds simple but, seriously, for most partners, the only question women get asked is "does that hurt?" There is very minimal emphasis on the nuisances of female pleasure (circles? fast circles? big circles? flat tongue? fast tongue?) , let alone creating a space for women to be comfortable exploring and understanding their desires without compromising the male ego. I think another tip is that her "orgasm" is not the goal. A lot of women restrict their communication if they think their bodies are trying to be "solved into orgasm." The goal is to build trust, get her comfortable with giving feedback, regardless if the sex is 2 minutes or 20.
Intro things like rope play, wearing masks, girl/daddy, woman in charge, corsets, latex, spanking, hair pulling, wax, massage, pretending to be a dog/cat, role play etc.
You said she doesn't like porn and many people don't but if she is willing you might try porn made for women or soft porn which is everything but actual intercourse. Porn made for women tends to have some emotion attached to the act or the men spend more time on a whole body experience.
If she doesn't like that go old school and look at how to book together. Positions, Tantric massage, etc. Sometimes slow sex can be as sexual as wild.
Give each other massages.
Also have a frank discussion outside of the bedroom of what both of you are interested in and where both of your boundaries are sexually. If you both have widely different ideas of how far out from vanilla you are will going to go are you compatible.
Let her set her sexual boundary which you won't cross so she feels comfortable that you will respect those boundaries. She might feel more free with you because she knows she can trust you. Ask her if at a later date you might be able to negotiate for a bit more.
Ask her what you can do for her. And then ask her to do a few things for you.
Being genuinely caring in the every day will lead to better sex. Be flirtatious throughout the day so tension can build up. It makes sex naturally more intense.
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What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!One thing my husband and I did when our sex life was getting a bit stale was we decided to take intercourse off the table. It forced us to be more creative and we explored and discovered a lot of very enjoyable sexual activities that aren't commonly talked about yet are super enjoyable.
Go to a sex store and explain that your ‘vanilla’ girlfriend wants to try different things.
Although... 🤔.. you can use some household items around the house to make things interesting... explore the touch sense... or the sense of taste!
Start off like this "👉👌" Try this next "🤞🤙✌️🖖"... Lastly tie her up... Walk away... I promise it will be an adventure
By finding a decent partner and experimenting.
She has to do those things to find out what she likes and when she does if she wants to do those things with you and/or others.
Try edging her in bed ig, a lot of women say that they aren't interested in foreplay but sometimes they just haven't explored it correctly
Your girlfriend sounds childish, I wouldn’t know where to go with that if I was you.
Try touching her clit. See if she's comfortable with oral. Try fingering. Try edging.
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