Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health How do you get over the fear of sex?
Anonymous
Im 24 and never had sex. Guys are asking me out all the time but I reject them all the time because I am too afraid of feeling a penis inside me and getting naked and seeing someone naked. I am a normal young adult. I go out, I read a lot, write fiction, volunteer but I cannot escape this fear.
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What Girls & Guys Said
41 113How do you get over any fear. You face it. Wait until you find a man you trust and cares for you. If he cares he will help you feel comfortable and safe. He will take things slow. You can go on dates so you can start to get to know someone.
You almost seem like you won't go on a date because feel guilty knowing you won't give your body to him right away. If I'm right, there are no rules saying you have to have sex with a man at a certain time.
So just have fun getting to know someone. If he doesn't want to pursue you because you aren't easy then he's not the one you want anyway.
Hope that helps and you find a good guy that will make you feel safe and amazing. Making love makes you feel more connected to each other.
Hi pink
Hi @mrwonderfull with 2 L's.😉
I was like that. I lost my virginity to my now boyfriend and he was amazing about it. I think you get less scared when you are with someone you love
is it just a fear of pregnancy? or is there deeper trust issues?
Hello. Your fear of having a penis inside you is understable, but irrational. However the first step you should take on a journey to overcome your fears, is to tell yourself that your fear is somewhat understandable, you are not weird. Then you might want to try standing fully naked in front of a full height mirror, preferably during the daylight hours as the light will be softer thus showing you your body in a flattering way; then just stare at your naked body, tell yourself what you like about your body, and what you dislike about your body. Accept that vast majority of people have some imperfections, therefore your imperfections are normal. Then after you have had a shower before going to sleep, lie naked on your bed, ensuring that your bedroom is warm; whilst you’re lying on your bed you might want to practice by inserting your lubricated finger inside your vagina and explore; doing this regularly may help you overcome your fear of having a penis inside your vagina. Good luck
The only way to get over ones fears is to confront them head on.
First of all thank you for sharing this with us! This is actually the first step in conquering this fear. Asking questions is the best first steps. Because of all the horror stories of rape and men only taking what they want from women in bed scares lots of women. I would talk with women you trust who have had good sex and been with great guys and ask how they conquered their fears. As a guy I was terrified of my first time... But I had a very special girl be really sweet and patient with me and she made my first time so magical that I will never forget her and how special she and that moment was! Good Luck I'm Cheering for you!!!
It's reasonable to want safety, comfort, expectations when it comes to sexual Congress with another person.
Im an older man, still a virgin.
My point is sex is not entirely the scary part , the scary part is giving love, comfort to the wrong person could emotionally destroy me sand they just carelessly walk away.
I hope you find the right road and find love and happiness 💜
Perhaps start with blow jobs? I would need to know more about the mentality behind the fear to give any real advice. But blow jobs are a fairly straightforward way of easing into it.
Or you could try becoming a dominatrix.
I’m 27 with the same fear but mine is because I’m insecure.
Can I ask you a question
^you just did
I fooled around with my first boyfriend for months before we had *sex*. We did other things quite a bit first until I was comfortable and ready. He made me feel safe and didn't pressure me. When you meet the right guy he will be willing to let you take your time. If he pressures you find someone new.
There is a lot of pressure on people to be above average on bed. A lot of that talk can male anyone nervous
I think for the most part people are right... just relax your too much in your head about it. Making your self... well crazy
(Lol j/k) go on dates play it cool just let him know you would like to go. for friendly drink or diner
Find your grove. Nerves will go away once you relax and chemistry clicks with the right guy
Your fear will disappear and primal will take over. 😜
Once you find someone and get to know him that fear might eventually abate.
Meet a more mature guy who will be very patient and slowly teach you how to be intimate and make love. Someone who understands your value and will communicate every step of the way so you feel safe and can relax to fully feel your sexual energy without any fear.
Also take some time to educate yourself about sex and topics related to it. Part of fear comes from a lack of knowledge and experience so at least you can find some podcasts, read some online posts, and increase sexual knowledge on your own.
Small steps.
No penis inside you? Check.
Getting naked? Check.
Seeing someone naked? Check.
Start with mutual masturbation in each others presence with your clothes on, or stimulating each other with the clothes on. Just to overcome the intimacy part of it, then take the trust you build to for example let him be naked or expose more of yourself. Step by step with a guy you trust deeply, and eventually go all the way once your comfortable. Take a step back if its to much.
At 24, if you are not have sex, then you are NOT a normal young adult.
Just do it. Get drunk first if you think it would help.
I fingered my first sex partner and she gave me a handjob in complete darkness the first time we got intimate. We did that several times until she wanted the dick.
Maybe you should start with something like that with a guy you trust.
I never really had this fear, i was always intrigued to do it and i guess just do it with someone you really trust
Personally I don't think you should reject them because of that fear. Just don't do sex until you feel ready to try and trust your partner enough to try. I'm quite sure your partner would understand and not rush anything.
I'm not gonna sugar coat this for you, yes the first couple of times will hurt but if your with the right man who loves you and treats you well all he will care about is you and how comfortable and relaxed you are. My first time was only a couple months back and I put so much pressure on it to be perfect in the best but once I met my soul mate I didn't feel nervous at all neither did he, we just had fun and laughed the awkwardness off its the best thing to do, dont take things so serious, besides safe sex of course take that seriously.
Just take things slow and go with the flow there is no rush and if he's a virgin too it will probably be over very quick after you'll realise there was no reason to worry at all and will just see sex as nothing more than a way to show love to your partner.
What ecfresh said! Take all the time you need! Date first. You don’t have to have sex in dating. If he’s pushing then you say you aren’t ready. If he can’t take it then he doesn’t need you. We dated a year and a half, became engaged, then had sex. I had never had sex. I was/am 24 before we had sex for the first time. It was so scary but I loved him so much! My hormones were raging. First time hurt! I cried. I was so disappointed that it wasn’t rainbows and sunshine. It was painful. I was so nervous so that didn’t help much. Second time and then on it’s been amazing every time! We have sex usually every other day and are married now and in the honeymoon phase. I was so terrified to even think about having sex. Now I crave it with the man I love!