How do you get over the feeling that sex is dirty?

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

[centerline]

its tough to do...
the way I was raised, my parents were extremely old fashioned, or totally against showing any signs of sexual attention or allowing us to learn anything about sex... it wasn't that it was a void that wasn't filled, but they tried to make it sound like an evil deed...

im still living with the effects of it...
its a long story, and i won't tell it here, but for me, I found a good understanding woman who was extremely open and knowledgeable to help me learn that its not bad, and if one is willing to explore, they can go almost anywhere sexually and be comfortable with it... learning to be naked in the presence of others was the most liberating feeling of all that I learned from her...

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

Beautiful answer, it was similar for me. My problem though is that I still have some of those issued even after some relationships.

[centerline]

it takes someone very open minded and creative to help us learn that the little bit of shame that we secretly carry is only in OUR minds and doesn't really exist... freedom isn't that far away, but sometimes our hidden shame prevents us from exploring there on our own...

[JackSmy]

I don't think it is 'Dirty' in any way!! Where did you get that idea?
It really depends, I guess, on the partner, and the level of trust!
If you LOVE, and trust the other, then there is nothing 'dirty' about it!
If two people are doing it, in a bathroom, at a bar, OK, yeah, that gets on the "Dirty List'!!

[pleasestopthis]

It is a bit icky but love and arousan somehow makes most people forget about it. Maybe try in the shower.
If you mean morally dirty that makes someone feel guilty, maybe therapy can help address certain thoughts

[JoyGirl]

You are scared to have sex, because it is dirty?

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

Not always, but some times I don't enjoy it and feel like it dirties my body.

[JoyGirl]

You can take a shower, after.

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

I do but the dirt doesn't seem to go away, at least in my mind. I stay in the bathtub for hours afterwards.

[JoyGirl]

Oh Ummm... do like just have sex with randos?

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

No, only with my fiancée. But a lot of times after having sex I feel dirty both outside and inside. Hence I need to bath throughly.

[JoyGirl]

I-Idk. I just did some research. You are not the only one who feels that way. According to what I read, PCD (Postcoital dyshoaria) may be what you are experiencing. It is a feeling some people get after having bad or good sex. It ranges from anxiety, sadness, agitation, and anger. There is no solid evidence of why it happens, nor is there a cure. Honestly, I am not 100% sure. I would say talk to your doctor (mine asks sexual questions 🤦🏾‍♀️). See what he or she says.

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

Actually I have been seeing a therapist about those issues and she suggested a similar thing, but my fiancée doesn't believe in therapy despite her job so we are trying to follow a path of meditation and other exercises.

[JoyGirl]

Do you think either of those are working?

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

Some things works at times, others do not. It got a bit better with some of the things she proposed - especially with the soothing music and all - but sometimes, like the last time we got intimate, I feel bad again.

[JoyGirl]

Try scented candles next time you have sex. Oy is romantic, plus it makes the room smell good.

[JoyGirl]

It* Omg

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

That's a good idea, we'll try it. Thank you!

[JoyGirl]

You are welcome, hun. 💜

[JoyGirl]

Thank you for the MHO, hun. 💜

[AmandaYVR]

Self-exploration, therapy, and different women in your life.

[RemoErdosain]

Maybe therapy might help, I don't know. I wasn't raised in the best way when it comes to sexual matters. Never bothered to go to therapy either. I don't think I'm less than the fools who go the other way. Some girls with daddy issues see sex as the best thing to ever exist, and have it on a regular basis with different guys. Then others like me have their kinks, but also feel a bit repulsed by the oversexualization of everything. I don't think either of the two extremes is good

[TremorJay]

Take showers

[lanadelrey25]

Like psychologically? I don't know, I'm in counseling bc of issues with sexuality so I couldn't really answer properly.

[Sparda20xx]

By having lots of sex. The more you have the less dirty you feel. Hell you may like feeling dirty

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

I hate it actually but to be honest it's getting better

[bannacookies]

I never had, & I do not wish to get over it.

[Likes2drive]

Hardly ever had any feeling like that, once I’m horny I’ll do almost anything but if I’m not horny I might think some things are gross if I really think about it. Seems like once we are horny those feelings vanish

[Juxtapose]

Well in a literal sense it is because you should clean up afterwards.

But otherwise it is one of the kindest things you can do for a person with minimal effort. What could possibly be wrong with giving people pleasure?

[DaMack999]

Practice practice practice.

[abc--123]

Do it in the shower

[msc545]

You need to explore the origins of that feeling, and that may require a therapist.

[lpoots]

why is sex dirty

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

Physically, it is. Morally, sometimes.

[Jakeofalltrades93]

never had that feeling

[Cryptic-Game]

I really have no idea how to.

[Anonymous]

What causes you to feel that way? Religion, parents, society? I think something is/has influences you to feel that way, which in my opinion is the problem.

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

I think everything in general. I had a strict education on the matter but my parents are the worst libertines.