How do you personally avoid getting with or dating whores, sluts, or hoes?

[Anonymous]

So, I’m just curious as to how some of you all avoid these types of women.

What questions do you ask?
How do you go on about asking them?
Are there any signs or tells you’ve seen that are common to these women?

I have my own answers, observations, and experiences with all of the above questions and more.

I’m just wondering what everyone out there thinks that can perhaps give me a new way of thinking, perspective, etc.

The vast majority of men that I’m friends with, as well as men that I work with have a hate, dislike, disdain, distrust, disinterest, and disgust over whores, sluts, and/or hoes.

I’ve gotten into conversations or talks about a variety of topics and subtopics around these women.

-Their experiences with them
-Their friends’ experiences with them
etc.

[HighlyVolatile]

I spent a bit too much time in nightclubs picking up women when I was young, and with the foolish prospect of finding something that lasts. I never tried online dating but I think it's not too dissimilar from nightclubs in most rewarding appearances, fashion, charm, skill. There's a difference in that we get to talk to each other and see each other in person as opposed to online, but also a difference in that there's usually an alcohol component to it. I think they kind of balance out.

That's not to say that some great people capable of committing don't go to nightclubs and bars, or that there aren't great people capable of committing resorting to online dating. But I think the nature of these environments tends to match the wrong types of people to each other.

So what I found to be much better is to build an inner social circle of both men and women. In my 20s, I tried to expand the circle. I'd make new friends and introduce them to my friends, and invite my friends to do the same. We made an epic circle of good people, still with a fondness for good times and adventure, but not the type trying to sleep with as many people as possible.

Then I found a boatload of great women to choose from, and that's how I met my now-wife (she was a friend of a friend I met at a picnic).

[Asker]

That’s a fantastic idea, one that I am in the steps of creating right now. I’m trying to expand my social circle just like you mentioned. You’re also correct about nightclubs and other similar venues. Are you going to meet non whore, slut, or ho women in such places? Probably not Well, you shouldn’t be shocked by that fact at least. Is it possible to meet a good woman here? A needle in a haystack? Diamond in the rubble? Yeah, it’s possible, but you have better courses of action that will yield a higher likelihood of what you want to achieve.

[HighlyVolatile]

Not only did I meet my wife this way along with some of my better exes, but some of the happiest marriages resulted from the social circle I built. For example, when my wife and I got married, one of her friends met one of mine for the first time at our wedding. We introduced them to each other at our wedding in Hawaii. Then they became interested in each other and some years later, they got married, and also in Hawaii since they liked our wedding so much (they sort of copied us).

[Asker]

Yeah, it’s a good idea. But, you have to have the right friends. If you have friends that like to drink a lot, party a lot, etc. They’ll perhaps only introduce you to women who like to do the same. Hence, you’ll only have women you don’t want to be with all around you. Your social circle is important, specifically the individual people in it. Their personalities, interests, etc.

[HighlyVolatile]

Cheers! I think the social circle is the best way. I tend to think now that we're sort of communal creatures. We evolved as a species in small tribes surrounded by people we know, both men and women, and chose our partners among them. That's how I think it's meant to be and how we maximize our chances of long-term success. It might require sort of building a small community now in this modern civilization as opposed to just finding ourselves in one, but I think that's the way to go not just for lovers but also lifelong friends.

[Asker]

Definitely agree.

[HighlyVolatile]

On the drinking part, that's sort of been a constant with me. It wasn't until COVID that I've been interested in cutting down since I developed a bad habit of drinking at home for the first time since. My social circle including my wife does love to drink socially. But that's rather common in Japan. Not every woman who likes to drink socially is looking to sleep around. There's a difference between someone who enjoys a party and someone who revolves their life around it. I found with the humblest of beginnings with my social circle that I started with the former type of friends: people who might enjoy a party but don't revolve their life around it. They had their own values, careers, education: overall decent people. Once I sort of got some momentum there I found most of the people we invited into our group were very similar with only very few exceptions, and being friends first and only seeking dates second, we all knew who they were.

[randomuser_27258]

I'm not here to point fingers and nitpick but most healthy women would not want to be with a man who refers to other women as sluts, whore, or hoes. Espcially when these same men, let off other men with 3x the body count. She's a disgusting whore/slut who deserves nothing for sleeping with 5 guys, but he's an Alpha male or player for sleeping indiscriminately with 15 girls. I want to know the degrading equivalent a man would get called for sleeping with 100 women vs a woman with 10 guys.

No, it's only women? Because people have an extreme fixation on female sexuality. "Prude. A pure virgin. Nasty slut. Asking for it. Leave something to a man's imagination. Who're trying to impress with that outfit? High body count = her inherent human value plummets." Men looove reigning judgement on women's sexuality when the do the exact same thing or worse. Men hate double standards but this? It's okay.

ANYWAYS, if you simply want to know... state your values for the relationship. "I'm looking for someone with a low sex history so we could...(insert mutually benefitical reason why)." If she agrees and has a low count, then you can get together. If she disagrees and/or has a high count, move on. That's the point of dating, finding whose best fit for you. Not shaming and name calling people like a 5 year old who don't fit out moral standards for them.

[Asker]

I don’t care for a woman to be a virgin necessarily. Also, I’m a heterosexual man, interested in women. So, if you want to call men whores, sluts, or hoes then you can do so. I don’t care what other men do If I’m with a woman, there’s certain things I’d like her to not be. A whore, slut, or ho. Why? Loads of reasons, but that’s personal for me. If you’d like to know, ask me privately and I’ll tell you why. The majority of men are also in agreement in terms of their dislike for such women. If you’re not this way, then why do you care about the terms “whore,” “slut,” or “ho?” If you’re so fixated on these, then you must engage in such things. All the power to you, do what you want.

[England4eva]

You look into a woman’s previous dating history and her character in general. Also another massive tip; Ask another woman. Men can see a guy who is playing a girl a mile away, we can see the same.

[OlderAndWiser]

1. I look at a woman's current attitude towards sex and sexual relationships. I don't want to be just another number on her list. But I also recognize that a woman may have been wild when she was young but settled down and only had serious relationships for the past 20 years.

2. I look at a first date as a screening interview. Most of the women I meet are not sluts or whores at all and it is quite obvious. For me, a first date is always at a relatively nice restaurant. I look at how she conducts herself at dinner. I offer her a drink or glass of wine and then observe whether she limits her intake or has three or four drinks at dinner. Sometimes, I ask how man different guys a woman has dated in the past year.

[Jasooty]

Think about where you’re meeting these types of women and try other locations

[FunkyMonkee]

I thought a whore WAS a hoe!! Or, are you referring to gardening utensils?

[Asker]

Oh, my mistake, must’ve been autocorrect. The word that I meant was “ho”

[FunkyMonkee]

Ho, ho, ho!! That's silly!! Other than a hearty chuckle, there's no such thing as a ho!!

[Asker]

Well, the word exists for real and it has an actual definition. It’s used in society. It’s effectively real. But to each his/her own

[Massageman]

Avoid it? I got married.

[SunnyCaliGirl]

I recently learned asking people what values do they look for in a partner and how they reply is more than likely a tell tell sign about someone's personal values

[jahaims]

I don't have casual sex

[Zolly99999]

I don't "avoid" any woman.. I get to know them first.. if I deem the a "slut" or a "whore" then I just bang them..
Also her body count is relative to get age.. a girl with 10 by the age of 18 is different then a girl the age of 50 ..

[Asker]

So, I don’t really think it should be relative to their age. Research/studies on lifetime partner counts for men and women seem to suggest the same. I think the average for men and women is around 7 lifetime partners. Or around there. Women might be a bit lower

[Zolly99999]

Maybe in 1950 but not today.. Today's divorce rate is crazy. Plus how do you if two people are compatible with dating. and that could take time.. I dated a girl for a year before we realized we were not compatible.. but already had sex many times.. I do agree a lower body count in a girl gives her a higher value in the dating market..

[Asker]

Well, what evidence do you have to suggest this? All data on this suggests the number of lifetime partners for women is in the single digits. Now, your intuition may feel different as well as your personal experiences/anecdotes, but that doesn’t mean these are objective facts.