How do you think some people can go through their whole teen years and 20s without having sex?

I’m not trying to judge but I think it’s sad because those people are missing out on some fun experiences, sex isn’t life of course and maybe I’m saying this because I’m a sexual being even tho I don’t sleep around and I lost my virginity when I was 22 but I couldn’t imagine going that long and not sharing or forming some form of intimacy with another human I found attractive or connect with.

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Superb Opinion

  • As crazy as it is to go all those years without sex, it's even crazier to go all those years without a relationship - but lots of people are doing that, because almost everyone has delusions of grandeur and believes that they "deserve" a partner far above their own value - one that is "perfect" in every way - and so they waste their most precious and valuable years, where finding their lifetime relationship should be their highest priority, doing other things. The problem is that biology doesn't change, and when you realize your mistake, you can't go back and fix it - you have to live with the outcome you chose, and that's a harsh reality for men.

    A recent survey found that 1/3 of all men at 30 years old are either virgins or haven't had sex in at least a year. Very few women are sexless for more than a month or two unless it's by choice, but LOTS of men are going without sex. Some of it is their own fault, and some of it is that so many women have insanely high expectations (that they have no chance of ever fulfilling) for a partner.

Most Helpful Guy

  • The younger guys are afraid to try these days due to crazy feminists and being called names so a lot of them have opted out. Other people are so involved in their phones that they don't know how to connect with other human beings so they never try.

Most Helpful Girls

  • It really amazes me at how people in western countries are like this. The sad thing is that it is usually not voluntary. There are plenty of people in here that are in their 20’s and 30's that are virgins. Every day I see sexual questions in here from adults thst are so obvious, I would have been embarrassed to have asked such a question when I was 11. I always think, "They have to be joking!", but they are not. Sex education must be nonexistant, but they should still be able to find answers on the internet.

    • I was 22 years old. It’s a little late but there are some people who lose it much later.

    • Yeah I think nonconsensual sex is terrible and traumatizing for anyone to face or go through, I wasn’t ready in high school so early 20s was a better time for me to have sex since I felt more ready and educated.

    • I am in Japan and our media is very sexualized, especially tv and of course manga and anime. We learn about all of that at an earlier age than people in western cultures do. Not everyone has sex early here, but I think we begin experimenting earlier.

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  • I’m not really sure how people wait that long. Ever since I was 15, I haven’t been able to keep any boyfriend I’ve ever had off me. I’m not saying I was forced or anything but there is always pressure and opportunity and you can’t hold out forever.

    • I had a few opportunities at that age but I just didn’t feel ready because of how pressuring and aggressive one of them was and I didn’t feel comfortable with him so I think it was best thing I waited till I was 22 to lose it because it was the right time and the guy I lost it to didn’t pressure me or push me into it, we both were ready.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • By being in self control, self-fulfilling, and having a sound mind.

  • How? Seems rather obvious -- they lack social skills in one way or another.

    • I wasn’t the most social girl in high school but I was able to get laid at 22 but then again I was trying also so you could be right. Maybe some people are quiet as a mouse.

  • I did, and it was because I was at a point in my life where I was working all the time and never hit the dating scene. Now in my late 30s, Im craving it, but this time with the right girl.

  • They didn't date at all, or much. In my girlfriend's case, she dated a guy for 10 years from 18-28. About 2 years in, she stopped loving him. She stayed with him because she was in love with the idea of being in love. I don't know why he didn't want sex with her, but he didn't. From 28-32, she dated a few guys but not for more than a few months. Then we started dating when she was 32.5 and had sex 6 months later. She's turning 37 in January.

  • Because some people are not as lucky to get sex as other find it easy.

    It's not great when you want to be intimate with someone and can't.

    I wish the have the joy of sex in my life but easier said than done, I can't even get dates

    • I was 22 which may seem like an odd age only because for me it was 2 years after college since I left early but in high school I wasn’t ready and the guys I had dated weren’t respectful of me wanting to wait so it didn’t happen, I had actually met a guy from another local college and he became the one I lost my v card to, he was 18 shy of 19 and I was 22, 5 months before I turned 23 in 2021.

  • In my experience, it is not voluntary. Unfortunately some people just can't connect with anyone enough to get intimate. They do try. Everybody tries

  • I really want to have sex but my parents are very strict I can't even sleep over at friend house if they have a sister

    • You’re 13. Still very very young dude. Some people or most I should say lose it on average at age 16. You got plenty of time. Also your parents are only looking out for you! My dad was strict with me too as a kid. There will be an opportunity someday but be mindful of the girl you wanna lose it too because you’ll never forget the first time.

  • By realizing there's a lot of time remaining in life for sex.

  • It amazes me to be honest.

    • Same! I was a little bit of a late bloomer but it’s such a long time for those people, and we only live once so it’s like why not try something new? Unless of course that person is asexual or something.