How does being molested as a child affect you as a grown up?

[Anonymous]

i was under 6 years old when it actually happened... almost 22 now... i only realized i was molested when i was 18 or something i just remembered it all of a sudden... and remembered other stuff too does it still affect me even though at the time i thought none of it and there was no rape or anything and no one knew about it? and... I don't know there a lot of "stress" symptoms that i was showing when i was very little, cried in my sleep once, wetting the bed at a bit of an older age (under 10 though i think) , reccuring nightmares... etc but then again my childhood was not very happy because of my mom mainly... so I don't know what caused what but yea about the molestation, how does it affect me now? how will it affect me when im married?

[Anonymous]

It makes it hard for relationships. I am 16 and right now is the age that every one starts touching and being curious if each other's bodies. It makes it really hard when anyone tries to do anything or when I am alone in a room with a boy. It makes me really nervous and fucks with me so much

[Asker]

you are 16, just because everyone is doing it doesn't make it right... its pretty normal to be nervous around boys at that age, yes you get curious but actually doing anything about it won't be too easy lol but yea i get what you mean

[AustinMan]

Absolutely. If you haven't had some therapy, I strongly recommend you do so to get past the triggers that very often linger for the rest of your life.

[Asker]

i dont think there ARE triggers though... im not sure what are the "symptoms" though?

[AustinMan]

Are you sexually active? What kinds of things are you doing? Any kinky areas?

[Asker]

no im not... but im attracted to guys and all is there any other way to find out :\

[AustinMan]

See a therapist with the right experience. I promise you'll find it most helpful.

[LoveSpurts]

Also happened to me and it affects me until this day. If you want to talk about it (I would) message me and we can talk about it offline.

[Anonymous]

i were molested psycologically and beaten up but had worse effects in my life than most rapes on women. most of thse women go on with their lives, for relationships etc. i lost everything.

[Asker]

omg... im so sorry :( i dont understand how can someone do that to a child :( and trust me nobody truly moves on after that, i wasn't raped but im still a woman (and i was molested and harrased in the street plenty) people just burry it as deep as possible... you are not alone if you dont mind me asking though (no pressure at all if you dont wanna talk about it) what is psychological molestation?

[Opinion Owner]

my father was an alcoholic and used to beat me, throw me all over the house, never recognised my achiecvements and always insulted and degraded me. as a result i had always absolute zero confidence. most kids hated me. girls hated me x10. i was being insultd throughout the whole school and college years which resulted in me dropping off from college. and now being a jobless, friendless, diplomaless, sad, pathetic failure. not to mention with poor health and dont even have the mony to afford doctors.

[Asker]

omg :'( im really truly sorry about that... what i been through wasn't half as bad but honestly, you're a fighter, me i wouldve given up a loooooong time ago i would be in jail or worse... why dont you take it step by step? start with therapy... or Gym i heard thats like shopping to girls lol your body and health will get better which will help you with your confidence and you never know you might make new friends at the gym? and try to work wherever you can at the time while you gradually build yourself back up so you can have some money :)

[Opinion Owner]

haha you are a good person. thanks for the advice. i'm afraid i can afford nothing at the moment. unless i find a job. i'm looking for two years now but its pointless. i don't think there is a gradual development for me. i'm fucked up beyond repair. as for having some "emotional stamina" yes i can't argue on that. classmates of mine fell to drugs and suicide for much less... .

[Asker]

nooooooo dont say that there are plenty of stories of people who came from much worse and thy still made it, you can do it too man i know its hard considering what youve been through but you need to change your mentality and your self talk look there is a site called blah therapy you can vent to an anon listener (or vice versa), since you can't afford therapy maybe letting it out will help you there is also wattpad (android app) you can write stories and publish them and other wattpad users can read and comment on it and all... maybe that helps too or we can talk here lol (again no pressure) you can do it

[Opinion Owner]

why are you good with me? why don't you degrade me like my surroundings and classmates did? well i have to confess that you are right i have a huge mental frontier to overpass as well as the thoughts of these lost years and the memories and embarassments i had. i'd been so embarassed in places that i tremble in the thought of meeting those people again. its better to lose your eye than your name/reputation says a wise saying. also i'm not sure i want to heal. i have become somewhat of a misanthropist, people's company is like a burdain on my chest. in the end i have understood i dont hate others but i hate myself above all. in fact i hate it so much that i didn't want to destroy it in a fast and painless way but in a slow and excruciating step by step destruction process that led me where i am today and steadily takes me to my demise.

[Asker]

let's just i felt things i dont want others to feel ... and im a nice person :P duude :( it doesn't have to be that way... i promise, but you do have to take a step, you've come so far and you actually made it past the abuse, now its just memories of it haunting you... i know its not great but you are past the hardest part and like i said, take it one step at a time, and maybe one day, travel and start a new chapter... book actually doesn't that sound nice? make it your goal

[Opinion Owner]

thanks. i'm glad people like you are out there. i guess i have to try hard. why couldnt i had found one truly supportive person in my younger years? anyway. i'll have to try more for the job, kock on more doors. and then when i have some bucks i can start living a bit and reshape my mind and self. and idiscreet question. when you say you felt things... you mean suicide thoughts? i have those all the time. i keep thinking how infinately more easy it would be than trying to do the almost impossble of transforming my life.

[Asker]

yea man no problem and of course there are plenty, it might be hard to open up but you never know lol i hope you really mean that lol the bigger the obstacle the prouder you are when you are over it well not specifically lol i mean i was hurt generally nad im kinda sensitive which makes me treat people like they are too hehe and i actually came close to commiting suicide when i was like 10 or something, was going to jump off the balcony but i backed down because i remembered something my dad said (we are believers and just a day or something before suicide was brought up and i was asking questions and he told me about it... etc) i 100% forgot about it but then right at that moment it hit me so yea.. sometimes i do think about it though, not suicide, just not existing... its not necessarily because of what happened ( i think i 60% healed from it) but just in general, i feel really detached at times, or too lonely like no body truly gets me even though i have friends...

[Asker]

and i can pretty much see the world going to hell... ugh i think about it so much lol I don't know if you are a believer or not, but honestly i just wanna go to heaven and forget about this life completely... wow i talk a lot xD suicide is not the answer... thats like running a race and a cm before the finish line you quit... dont quit like i said , the hardest part is over, now you need some healing psychologically before anything

[Opinion Owner]

i'm too old for this shit. time left me behind. others in my age have masters and already work nice jobs. i have to learn social skills i should have developed during my schoolyears. i'm too much behind in all frontiers to have a realistic hope of improvement. oh i saw why you are kind. you are a theist. not many atheists would have such feelings. i get what you mean. too much darkness and vanity in this world. people "eating" one another and obsessing over so mundane things.

[Asker]

old? it says 25-29... thats not even near old lol if you were in your 40s or 50s maybe... you dont have to be perfect, there are people with mental disorders who have gone further than kids with tons of degrees or like those guys who can build a computer but can't button up their shirt you are even better than them (im assuming you can button up your shirt :P ) point is, you dont have to be perfect and you dont have to start at such high levels, your first step can be simply letting it all out, and then gym or a small job or w. e and gradually work your way up, you are not old AT ALL dont tell yourself that and thanks :$ lol and exactly ! and all the politicall correctness... ugh and people are paying for their doings and then they blame soceity or w/e for it... bleh