How long can you tolerate no sex with your SO?

[Anonymous]

Let’s say you see each other everyday but not live. He or she withholds sex for a certain time that you couldn’t tolerate any longer and want to break up?

My girl is withholding two weeks and I’m nearly on the verge of breaking up

[Anonymous]

It depends on the circumstances. I don't need sex to survive, especially since masturbating exists, so I'm sure I could go quite a while in that sense. However, knowing how high my girlfriend's sex drive is and the connection we have, even just a few days without would start to ring alarm bells if we were seeing each other every day (for context, we currently only get about once a week together on average and make a point of having sex each time, barring exceptionally extenuating circumstances). You say your partner is "withholding" sex from you, which implies that she doesn't just have a lower libido, but rather is using sex (or lack thereof) as a weapon against you. That kind of behavior is extremely toxic and manipulative; sex should be a shared, mutually enjoyable act between people who trust, respect, and ideally love each other, not a bargaining chip for one partner to offer or deny the other. That kind of attitude, rather than mere sexual frustration, is what to me would drive a breakup.

[Opinion Owner]

Re: update. Okay, so it sounds like you both are having some issues here. Again, she shouldn't be using sex as a weapon to make you do what she wants, but it makes sense for her not to want to be intimate if she feels like you're just constantly judging her. You're probably better off picking your battles. For example, if you're in her room a lot, then you probably want it to be clean, fair enough. But does it really matter that much to you if she's eating tuna out of the pan? Conversely, maybe table manners are more important to you, meaning you might want to leave the room alone. Once you find a behavior you would really prefer changes, try helping her rather than just criticizing. Offer to organize her room together so it's easier and less boring, or wash the dishes more so she's not as annoyed to serve herself.

[ecfresh]

Why is she withholding?

[Asker]

She says I’m not nice and criticize her but I do it in a productive way

[Anonymous]

I left my last relationship because of this. Turns out he was giving it to someone else. When I left him she told me about it and found out he got crabs from her